Monthly Archive for May, 2005

Tampax can go fuck itself

Published on May 31, 2005 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

That commercial where the chicks supposedly have the wrong tampons and have to make a rescue sign with boxes and boxes of the wrong tampons when all their cunts are probably bleeding all over their panties really fucking annoys me. Because the moon hates the three of you, and you are all going to get your period at the same time, as if you’d be stranded with only tampons. But say you were, there is no fucking way that you and your little girly friends would set up a sign saying ‘send tampax’ (or whatever it says) it would say HELP or SAVE US and our bleeding crotches. You make those sorts of signs with sticks and rocks not your only tampons!! You would regret letting those tampons get washed away by the surf pretty fucking fast, considering the hut you would build cause you watched Survivor would reek worse than rotting flowers in the bushes. The marketing is for assholes. You should be using O.B. anyway.

And another thing in case you were wondering, we don’t shave under water falls, together, in our bikinis while singing songs that are gay and that no one even likes.

I got tagged (i think):

Published on May 31, 2005 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

10 Years Ago, I…
1. was days away from graduating from high school
2. was filled with rage
3. had braces
4. had a car
5. wanted to kill almost everyone in Terrace

5 Years Ago, I…
1. was living on my own with gus
2. accepted i needed therapy
3. was still full of rage
4. didn’t own contacts
5. was under a 100 pounds

Yesterday, I…
1. got up in time for Ellen
2. let maintenance men into my apartment
3. went golfing
4. made spaghetti for dinner
5. made fun of the miss universe pageant

Today, I…
1. got mad cause Ellen has gone into reruns and i didn’t miss any
2. did this shaggy taggy mcgee questionnaire
3. am not wearing a bra
4. will not go golfing cause it is raining
5. will finish the stupid dishes

Tomorrow, I will…
1. be mad again that Ellen is in reruns
2. do more dishes
3. make coffee and drink it
4. be mad if it is raining
5. urinate

5 Snacks I Enjoy:
1. chocolate covered nuts
2. McCain Deep and Delicious cakes
3. cereal
4. cupcakes
5. dipping graham crackers in milk

5 Songs I Know all the Words to, Even Without the Music:
1. elsewhere – sarah mclachlan
2. trogdor – strongbad
3. never too much – luther vandross
4. thank god im a country boy – john denver
5. hooker with a penis – tool

5 Things I Would Do With $100,000,000:
1. pay Ellen to let me dance on her show
2. stuff
3. give lots to the animals
4. give lots to the jerks i am friends with
5. get a personal chef

Top 5 Locations I`d Like to Run Away To:
1. Germany
2. Botswana
3. Vietnam
4. France
5. The Cook Islands

5 Bad Habits I Have:
1. picking at myself
2. swearing a lot and loudly
3. gossiping
4. whining
5. sniffing things

5 Things I like Doing:
1. anything with adam
2. ps2
3. batting with gus
4. petting gus
5. sleeping with gus

5 Things I Would Never Wear:
1. gus
2. a 34B
3. underwear on my head
4. socks with holes in them
5. someone else’s skin

5 T.V. Shows I Like:
1. CSI Las Vegas
2. 24
3. family guy
4. south park
5. american justice

5 Movies I Like:
1. team america world police
2. the big lebowski
3. fight club
4. seven
5. silence of the lambs….she puts the lotion in the basket…put the fucking lotion in the basket….

5 Famous People I’d like to Meet:
1. Todd Bertuzzi
2. Todd Bertuzzi
3. Todd Bertuzzi
4. Todd Bertuzzi
5. Todd Bertuzzi

5 Biggest Joys at the Moment:
1. adam
2. gus
3. friends
4. that i can hit all the greens at the pitch and putt with my PW (i can that doesn’t mean i do)
5. my parents

tagged by: The Art of Ransom

Rock My World Little Country Girl

Published on May 30, 2005 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

I am starting to get some regular readers that aren’t people I said I�d kill if they didn’t check out my site. I even got a hit from ze Germans! I love ze Germans!!! Thank you very much for reading, it is much appreciated!

Bride of Skeletor

Published on May 30, 2005 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments