Monthly Archive for May, 2006

Published on May 30, 2006 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

Y’all know I’ve got some good taste in music and I’ve got some questionable taste in music and then I have just plain BAD taste in some music. As I’ve mentioned before when I can’t figure out a songs lyrics I make up my own. No disrespect I enjoy singing and I pretty much just sing whatever comes out. But when Mariah Carey’s ‘Emotions’ came on the media player the other day I suddenly yelled out FUCK THIS SHE IS NOT SINGING ABOUT EMOTIONS SHE IS SINGING ABOUT ORGASMS she is using it as a METAPHOR! I’m so smart WHERE IS MY COOKIE!

Just call me Weird Corinna-ankovic I re-wrote it with my own lyrics and I’m going to be famous.

Orgasms
by: Corinna Liscumb

You’ve got me feeling orgasms
Deeper than I’d ever dreamed of
You’ve got me feelings orgasms
Harder than the headboard above

I feel loose
I feel tight
I’ve never felt so
Orgass-mafied

I’m in lust
I’m a liar
In-fox-icated
diseases fly
It feels like a cream
When you drip it on my sheets
Don’t know if it’s snipped
But I like the way it feels inside

You’ve got me feeling orgasms
Deeper than I’d ever dreamed of
You’ve got me feelings orgasms
Harder than the headboard above

In the moaning
When I cum
You’re not the first thing
on my mind
And when you diddle
with your dick
I feel your hand moves
don’t touch mine
It feels like a cream
When you drip it on my sheets
Don’t know if it’s snipped
But I like the way it feels inside

(Repeat Chorus)

You know the way to make my bed bounce
When your pounding me from behind
You make me feel so fly

You’ve got me feeling orgasms
Deeper than I’d ever dreamed of
You’ve got me feelings orgasms
Harder than the headboard above

You’ve got me grippin’ harder

The Original ‘Emotions’
by: Mariah Carey

You’ve got me feeling emotions
Deeper than I’ve ever dreamed of
You’ve got me feeling emotions
Higher than the heavens above

I feel good
I feel nice
I’ve never felt so
Satisfied
I’m in love
I’m alive
Intoxicated
Flying high
It feels like a dream
When you touch me tenderly
I don’t know if it’s real
But I like the way I feel Inside

(Chorus)

In the morning
When I rise
You are the first thing
On my mind
And in the middle
Of the night
I feel your heartbeat
next to mine
It feels like a dream
When you love me tenderly
I don’t know if you’re for real
But I like the way I feel
Inside

(Chorus)

You know the way to make me lose control
When you’re looking into my eyes
You make me feel so high

(Chorus)

You’ve got me feeling higher

Published on May 29, 2006 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

We were so close to getting out of here. A suite came available down the street in one of the two buildings we are waiting on. Anyone unfamiliar with our landlord situation there are stories a plenty regarding Mrs. E. in the ‘Assholes’ category. Because we like the management company we are waiting on two buildings both come with NO Mrs E. and balconies. The only problems I’ve ever had building wise since I moved in here in March 2000 are with the cunt next door.

We went to look at the suite and it was too small. Damnit, we have to wait for one on the front of the building now. It was really nice though so we are excited about the front but disappointed we have to live next door to little miss keys for fingers cunty mc cunt cunt moo moo wearing went certifiably insane before I was even born landlord.

I was talking about her in therapy last Friday as I do when anything she does of any merit presents itself and the possibility of getting the fuck away from her is definitely therapy worthy. We discuss how she triggers that teenager in high school being bullied section of my brain and I just go to goo when I see her. I can’t fucking stand her I can’t wait to be rid of her. It is hard but we are understanding of why her boss lets her get away with the shit she does in this building but really this bitch is so old if he were to rat her out she’d be out on the street and homeless and no matter how much I say I hate her I’m not evil like for real evil. It will be so good for me just to move out of here. Even though I love that I have lived in this building longer than I have lived anywhere in my life. Some really shitty shit has happened in here. When I lived down the hall solo for five plus years I was assaulted by a friend of a friend in my suite people in the building were also friends with the friend of the assaulter and me and one of our mutual friends committed suicide and I thought they were my friends but I guess they only tolerated me for PH and pretty much kicked me to the curb after he died and joined the I was never assaulted bandwagon EVEN THOUGH the guy who assaulted me point blank admitted to doing it. Fuck it was insane. I STILL catch myself when their window is open walking by and having NO CONTROL of saying disgusting and despicable things like ‘I PERSONALLY think PH would be fucking ASHAMED of how they treat me’ LOUD enough for them to hear me, whether they ever have I don’t fucking care, but whatever fucked up things happen when woman are assaulted in groups of friends and fucked up things happen when people die. I was left feeling judged for how I grieved and felt like they only tolerated me cause PH thought I was the shit. Basically getting out of this building will be even better for me than I realized until it was a topic in therapy.

Published on May 26, 2006 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

OK fuck it seriously I’m getting this off my chest before I keep posting this fluff shit that is me cause I am fucking fluffy but not me cause I started this blog with a purpose for myself and for myself that purpose was to be honest and for the last couple weeks my posts have been honest but something hasn’t felt right. They’ve been about what’s been going on, what’s happening, what Gus is doing but where am I??????? I’m struggling, I FEEL fucked up, I FEEEEL not good enough, I FEEEEEEEL I can’t do it. I didn’t want to admit it because I actually told myself that I’d ‘really’ care if some fuck-wit left me a comment telling me to GET BACK ON A FULL DOSE OF TITS BITCH! But fuck it coming off meds is fucking hard I don’t care who the fuck you are if you taper very slowly like I am or drop em cold you FEEEEEEEL it. They just weren’t fucking working but I’m fucking fucked up waiting for them to stop not working so I can get on with my life and just be depressed because I suffer from depression and not because some drug that never made me feel better is fucking with my head. There is SO MUCH SHIT going on in both of our lives right now. Seems that way for a lot of people I know right now, I know I’m not alone but it doesn’t help. The good days are SO good I feel awesome, I feel clear, I feel like I’m finally making progress that the hard mother fucking work is paying off but the bad days are so bad that today my whole body went numb, because I became so overwhelmed I think I honestly forgot to breathe. Adam told me I could take it. I could have this time for myself. I’m going to head back to work because I want to, but I also want to feel fucking stable. Everything is coming at once or so it feels. It probably isn’t.
So this is it no more hiding that I feel like shit and I’m struggling it makes my blogging shit and makes me not want to post and feel insecure when I do. I just feel like I’m pretending that dropping the tits is all lollipops and roses when piled on top with the rest right now is feeling more like I bit off more than I can chew.

Published on May 26, 2006 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

Being Canadian let me be honest in saying when the Dixie Chicks shot down Pres. Bush I really didn’t give a shit and thought the whole thing was fucking stupid. I saw them live on their ‘Fly’ tour and they are AMAZING. Freedom of speech??? Ok, fine that means whoever wants to can go on hating them. Whatever.

Their brand new song, ‘I’m Not Ready to Make Nice’ pretty much sums up my whole life right now.

I’m HUGE on theme songs, they never had a name before Ally McBeal but I have always had one. They change, some are classics, some are so bad even I’m happy when they’ve served their purpose. Some follow me and just become a part of me. Sarah McLachlan has always been such a sacred artist to me I made a rule that no song of hers would EVER make me think of any other person but myself as to not ruin her songs because music touches my core so deeply that there are times I have felt so hurt I haven’t been able to listen to it. I find no one ever understands that and I can never really explain it. I love it SO MUCH yet can’t listen?
I love that I’m open minded about music that I really will listen to pretty much anything. I may hate it but I’ll listen to it once. And I called Taylor Hicks winning American Idol on day one, what I wouldn’t give to have bet someone money on that one.

I went to see the same Sarah McLachlan concert twice and dragged Adam both times so her songs not making me think of people pretty much went out the window when I met Adam. But I held that rule for YEARS.
I’ve actually seen her live four times which to some music lovers is like ohhhh wow FOUR times!!! But with my migraines live music is something I rarely get to enjoy. I know, it IS a bloody travesty. Even if I take ear plugs or show up after the opening act which is LAME and un-supportive of bands or singers that may need it I’m in so much pain it quickly becomes more of a scary situation than a fun one. I want to see Tool really fucking bad. I have a plan, It won’t work but I’m going to have to suffer, that is unless they pull the same shit they pulled last time they toured and screw Vancouver with two Seattle shows- shocking pretty much their entire fan base here. I honestly hope they got the memo on how NOT COOL that was. I’m going to show up RIGHT as Maynard is walking on stage, get NOSE BLEED seats and just take it in and do meditation breathing so I don’t die from my headache. Just being around that many people fuels my social anxiety and I start snapping at people and become ‘the crazy girl’ anyway but I don’t know if that is such a bad thing it keeps people the fuck away from me for one thing.