Monthly Archive for January, 2007

Published on January 31, 2007 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

I had a dream last night that I was in Athens but I kept asking everyone where Greece was. I�m scared to even attempt to analyze that one.

A very important anniversary is fast approaching it is next Friday to be exact, the anniversary of my [u]Ass Surgery[/u], my [u]Rhoid surgery[/u]. I won an award as you may remember courtesy of [u]Jeckles[/u] and the [u]Shitty Blogs Club[/u]. I WON shitty blog of month for blogging through what was one of the most invasive experiences in my life thus far. All I need now is, no wait, I already had extra cells burned off my cervix and watched it on camera and had a reaction to the HUGE freezing needle they stick up in you before the camera and seeing your own cervix on a screen monitor and cells being burned off CAN cause you to convulse and almost pass out so really I guess there are no other surgeries for me to have that would feel more invasive when I had RHOID surgery before even 30 for crying out loud before even having a baby.

Recently I was constipated for like two weeks and man let me tell you, LET ME TELL YOU how thankful I was, the most thankful I�ve been since the surgery after how horrid it was to have had those fuckers removed HAD I NOT I would NOT have been able to FIVE STAR almost all 40 songs on MEDIUM level of Guitar Hero II- PLUS I Five Stared Trogdor in the Bonus Level- because I�d have the rhoids so big I�d be in bed or the bath and suffering. Although I am still not fully happy with the surgery results I would still highly recommend it.

From now on February 9th will be our faux Valentines Day because we don�t celebrate it Valentines Day is EVIL. I wasn�t planning on celebrating February 9th but in some ways I did get a new asshole it was Adam that said we should celebrate it, I really can�t remember I just know Adam is taking me to NEKO CASE!!!!! AGAIN!!! BUT this time it is in a club and I�ll be able to get up close and act like a crazed fan- I WILL be able to yell out SING THE TRAIN FROM KANSAS CITY, and she will because I�ll look all cute in the T-shirt I bought at her show in July that two of my other bloggy friends also have.

If you’d like to join in on the celebration of my new asshole/2006 Ass Surgery I won’t stop you it is pretty exciting.

I can’t dance anyway

Published on January 22, 2007 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

On one of the Detroit stations I watch Ellen is now on at 7am so I can watch it while I am making Adam’s lunch. I can’t laugh as loud or dance as vigorously but I can watch it again at 11am or 5pm so seriously no worries if I get a bit distracted and miss some.

Yesterday my neck hurt all day long and I could not turn it left at all. Today it feels fine. My bad neck is from car accidents that were NOT my fault and so I never really know what puts it or my back out all I know for sure is that my headaches LOVE IT they go off the charts.

I got a hair cut last week but it looks the same just neater. Adam didn’t even notice. It caused my first moment of fear in our marriage. Only five months and he doesn’t notice my HAIR?????????????????? What’s next he forgets our 6 month anniversary????

Ps. YAY Hillary for 2008. DO IT UP!

Published on January 16, 2007 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

Yesterday I told myself that I was NOT GOING TO pick at my face anymore. And today already I am picking my face. I pick at everything � ingrown hairs in my legs, bikini line I used to try and pick zits and ingrown hairs on Adam too but because it is part of my anxiety disorder and the fact I have a therapist he won�t play into it. It really pisses me off when I see the best black head ever on him and HE WON�T LET ME POP IT! But it is supposed to teach me self control of some shit and apparently not everyone likes other people popping their zits and black heads. WHO KNEW. And I�m glad I ended up marrying one �cept in the past I could destroy someone else�s skin and not my own. I am TRYING to tell myself over and over STOP PICKING. STOP PICKING. I�ve even asked all my chin hairs to grow in at the same time and at the same degree of thickness for easier plucking and fuck �em they won�t.

Also, totally unrelated I have a problem with drool.

I have a deviated septum in my left nostril. I don�t know how I got it. I THINK I remember my left nostril always being a little bitch growing up so I don�t think it is from any drug use I may or may not have taken part in during the �interesting behavior� days of my early 20�s. Basically, this is an invitation for snoring and when I get a cold, forget about it. We have a humidifier it doesn�t do too much, our apartment is really old with one pane glass and black mold on the ceiling in the bathroom so technically we are lucky to even be alive in here also I�M lucky because Adam is not bothered by my snoring it doesn�t wake him up. I also really hate that it makes me constantly sniffly and it always sounds like I need to blow my nose but I won�t have the surgery because the ear nose and throat specialist I saw that I was referred to see on account of one of those three possibly causing my headaches it was discovered I had the deviated septum because the camera went up and stopped DEAD it felt AWESOME even with my nostril frozen I felt that holy crap did I � sorry � I decided I would not have the surgery because she said it was extremely painful. Lately since I have now had [u]ass surgery[/u] with complications AND collar bone surgery I am considering it and chuckle at my turning it down years ago because of its apparent painfulness after the surgery I had last [u]February[/u].

With a gift card left over from our wedding we recently bought new sheets I have a pretty extreme obsession with matching sheets and duvet covers and we have been putting thought into stuff we buy now because we know sort of what direction we want to head in �apartment look wise� when we FINALLY move so we got black and dark brown sheets. I am actually glad we never got any of the sheets we registered for that fit our mattress because even though we ended up going with the same brand we completely changed colors. OTHER matching sheet sets I have had in the past have been LIGHT.

Although I always knew I drooled I didn�t know I could flood a river. Black and dark brown sheets are already harder up keep which I don�t mind because they look great BUT are now literally covered in my drool- I�m pissed. With Adam�s job he gets little nicks and cuts that aren�t always obvious so I was super excited that there�d be no more trying to scrub out missed �that really needed a band aid� stains some that just would not come out and now I�m tres embarrassed about my overly obvious drooling and the funny thing is no one needed to know but Adam and I but I�m still embarrassed about it and I�m a drama queen and this is my blog so why not tell you all?

So [u]Pat Quinn[/u] is a stripper and the commercial he does advertising his kind of stripping is marketed so perfectly I purchased some [u]Breathe Right Strips[/u] thinking THIS would enable me to sleep with my mouth closed limiting my drooling. To no avail baby, to no avail. I am a drool machine I wish I could bottle it and sell it. And worst of all I can�t believe I didn�t know- I can�t believe I had sheet colors that hid it all this time. I can�t even bare to think of how many nights and mornings Adam has watched me sleeping peacefully in what should be a sweet moment between him and my sleeping subconscious only to be staring at dried drool, highlighted with fresh drool.

I�m too sexy for myself.

Published on January 12, 2007 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

I have cereal mouth from eating bad for you cereal. Adam was getting food and I asked for bad for me cereal and he got Reese Puffs and now we have Fruit Loops and we don’t normally get bad for you cereal. I thought I could out smart the tearing the roof of my mouth skin by using a small spoon instead of a big spoon but it only helped till half way through bowl one and then it hurt just as bad again. I’m trying to keep eating it in hopes of breaking my mouth in like new shoes. Only problem I have a really really bad headache that nothing is helping and WHAT IF it is a sugar headache? Because I have a headache all the time to different degrees when they get bad sometimes I can’t pin point exactly where it is coming from. Whole right side, most painful at the top right side.

The skin from my new tattoo is falling off all over the place it isn’t sexy but I love picking up the pieces of skin and examining them but I don’t keep the skin, I’m not sick. It is incredibly hard to concentrate long with this stupid headache and my itchy arm. I promise a better post when one or both are better.