On Saturday morning I went to take my medication only to discover that I had forgotten to take it on Friday, I am not someone who forgets their meds very often. Maybe a month ago I did forget one day as well, so I knew, as is the usual with forgetting the meds that I was in for at least one not so fun day. The not so fun day turned out to be the next day, which was fine it was a Sunday, they are made for lazy anyway, but the mild annoyance decided to combine with my PMS and oh what a day it was.
Other than the fact that I felt like I was going to burst into tears over the cat looking at me sideways it turned out to be one of those days where everything sent me into hysterics, which was good and bad. I already had a massive headache and was bloated and felt disgusting overall and wouldn’t shut up about it, but that is still better than it going the way of feeling like my blood is going to boil out of my body.
It isn’t uncommon for us to spend large amounts of time laughing but I was still thinking – “what the fuck is up with me, I almost never get this hyper.” When I went to bed I figured I’d sleep like a log, I hadn’t napped that day and was tired; having felt like crap all day sucked and I was in no mood to accept that laughing is good.
Sleep didn’t come, night sweats on the other hand came with a fucking vengeance, I deduced that it was still payback for forgetting my medication, although in my not fully sleeping but sort of dreaming enough that I couldn’t bring myself to get out of the soaked sheets and clothes haze, I could tell that there was something else wrong. I was feeling numb in my hands and I wasn’t so much dizzy as it just felt like every time I moved I could hear and feel everything around me moving with me. I ass-umed it was related to the migraine side of it all and went back to tossing and turning in the damp gross sheets. As IF I would ever do it, but Adam has always said that I can wake him up and that he will sleep in my night sweat area, fucking disgusting but sweetest shit ever.
When I got up in the morning I felt horrible. The numbness was still coming and going from my hands and I was finding myself pretty creeped out by the whole moving my head and then hearing almost a whooshing sound going by, not to mention anxiety shakes central. I can’t remember what clued me in, but I jumped off the couch, grabbed my granny style pill holder and let out a nice loud FUCK ME when I discovered that my pills for Sunday were still sitting in the wee compartment. No wonder it felt like my fucking head was going to fly off my shoulders which would have at least cleared up the problem I was experiencing with my lips going numb.
I instantly started to tweet my disdain for myself and my carelessness whilst trying not to freak out because I was feeling seriously ill and other than taking more than one extra milligram of clonazepam, I did not want to mess with anything. I figured it was better to suffer it out than to take two or three milligrams only to have a longer recovery period.
I was basically a walking public service announcement for what not to do; I’m still quite frankly floored that not only did I forget my meds twice in one week but within that proximity. I’m not a defiant person with my medication, I will go off medication that my shrink puts me on if I don’t like it, but I have never ever just stopped taking anything cold turkey.
I felt so bad I was worried it would carry over into Tuesday and I’d have to miss a gym session, missing my workout on Monday was piss off enough but my equilibrium was fucked. I did chuckle over the one part of the email my shrink sent me which said: “Problem with effexor is when you miss doses you can feel extremely unwell.” That much I had fully figured out. Got it.
Thankfully, the really nasty side affects only lasted into the evening, Tuesday I was still a bit off balance and we did have to modify my workout but I was still able to go, and today I’m pretty tired but back on track. At least I didn’t go nuts. I have to admit I was a little worried about that, I thought I would be super depressed today actually but other than napping for a few hours I still feel alright.
This little fuck-up made it pretty clear to me that I am doing the right thing coming off all of this shit, granted I wasn’t trying to rush it, the next official drop isn’t until my next refill but whoa man holy shit I hope in the mean time that I don’t do that again.
