At the end of last year I was invited to attend an event put on by local blogger Emme Rogers she had organized a party for a Calendar she’d made called Reading is Sexy in support of the Canadian Chapter of The International Dyslexia Association and she’d put her heart into making something that mattered to her and she wanted to share it with her friends and fellow Calendar boys and girls. This was such a fantastic idea, if I were in the position to buy two calendars a year I would have bought one in support alone, but we are not, and therefore this year I stuck with the one and only solid tradition Adam and I have. But before I get to that I’d like to mention that if you still need Calendars get one here and support local Vancouver bloggers and a great cause. I simply don’t feel it is right to do a post specifically on our Calendar stemming from what we fondly refer to as Calendar Wars without mentioning such a great idea when reading and literacy are also extremely important to me and I’m still going to support every year to the best of my ability. Starting with having the post up in time next year!

You may want to read the original Calendar Wars post and the link in the first paragraph. Or I guess you can just take my word for it in my brief explanation to follow the end of this sentence. [this should be good, me trying to give a brief explanation]

It started innocently, no that doesn’t work, it started as a joke, or so I thought. After the Men with Buns calendar was on the wall for a full year of course it had been made clear by me that I should be allowed to pick the next years’ calendar. To say I got him good that year, would be saying I got him GOOD that year. Two words: Jeff Foxworthly. A few more words: You might be a redneck if….  [I am after all a pure bread red neck, Grandmother lived and died in a trailer park]. Poorly written, not even remotely funny jokes, with cartoons of plumber butts, clam slam skirts and shirts, but not hot ones, HOES; twelve months of them.

My husband never one to be outwitted got me back in 2009 with The Big Breast Calendar. This is where some of you are like WHAT you love tits. YES I LOVE TITS! But even he admitted he copped out and went for porn, couldn’t out horrible calendar me so he went for tits. Only backfired on him two months, Ms. September and Ms. December were a challenge for him. There wasn’t enough of the car for Adam in the Ms. September shot, although oddly I found Ms. September to one of the hottest women on there, and Ms. December just should have never happened. You don’t want a description. Both women still had big tits, they were great, it was the photos.

One day I was on Flickr and I saw the side ads which on Flickr don’t annoy me cause they are for cool shit like Moo cards. I saw, or was reminded that you could make a calendar. I wish I could tell you ladies that I filled it up with hot photos of my husband, but where would the fun have been in that? Given that we are both pretty big fans of over the top dorky photos of ourselves it was a no brainer and thus Adam Carlson in Calendar ~ #adam2010 was born.

Cover photo: taken by me up in Prince George over Christmas the last year my parents were still living in Canada. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he had the halter on wrong before taking the photo.

Mr. January: If you know Adam at all you know he is extremely calm, he doesn’t swear very often and is basically the complete opposite of me when it comes to that side of our personalities, so the fact that for whatever reason he gave me the finger while I took this was out of character for him and like nice wannabe smurf hat. Neither of us makes resolutions so out of my picks for photos I liked this one for January because it’s sort of a fuck you to resolutions or whatever.

Mr. February: Adam was sick or something so I went out and got him some treats and such and your guess is as good as mine as to why but I decided that we needed wax lips. HAD TO HAVE THEM.

Mr. March: The original photo on Flickr is entitled: impromptu C.J look-a-like contest winner C.J is family to us, he has seen this picture, and has been overheard saying :”it looks even more like me than me”.

Mr. April: This is a mish mash of classic Adam moments, Showerhawk Wolverine face with kittehs, trying to eat cardboard instead of the Pocky, He wore flowers in his hair golfing, and Potato mouth (in our apron wedding gift which states: It Takes Two Socks To Make a Monkey, stemming from a hilarious joke Adam cracked out at a friends place one night).

Mr. May: As a you just had a vas-nipper gift I bought Adam some stress balls two years ago this May 23rd. I didn’t know how much pain he’d be in and thought he’d appreciate still being able to play with some balls.

Mr. June: Last year I commented on how I continually feel ripped off by June year after year in calendars and it is MY birthday month, the 14th every year; it just doesn’t seem fair, it isn’t like I take it personally but I’ve said it once and I will say it again June is continually represented in a prejudice way against awesomeness, in my humble opinion. Again, I’d really have liked to have posted a photo of say this nature but it would have cheapened the entire calendar. This here, is the money shot. This is the day that I bought my husband the worst underwear on the face of the planet it was all my fault they were just, well, you can see the photo. One of those worst wife ever moments. There are two more prime shots that were supposed to be on this page but no matter what I did the program wouldn’t let me upload them so we are all stuck with this one gem instead of three. My sincerest apologies.

Mr. July: Classic Adam, you can see the dedication to his craft of making me laugh in his eye.

Mr. August: The photos here are taken from the day that we started what we call The Creepy Carlsons, now we go out of our way to take creepy photos like this one that Adam took. Two examples of how fun my husband makes our marriage are apparent in his dorkiness in the other two. It is also his birthday month so the photo of the crazy eyes is fitting.

Mr. September: Who doesn’t have photos of themselves pissing in the bushes. There is one kicking around of me in the Dominican Republic I just thought of now, hilarious.

Mr. October: I took this photo the morning after our wedding, he claims he is pretending to be Gus, I say either go on a fucking picnic together already or admit you were trying to run away from the marriage.

Mr. November: This time, he’s being more of a horse. Still wearing the halter wrong.

Mr. December: This photo is entitled Find the Dill-weed. Adam named it himself.

I’m the type of person who can’t buy something for someone without having to give it to them the second I buy it, this was coming via mail and was so hard to keep my mouth shut about you can’t even imagine. I was laughing at nothing constantly, I showed it to a girlfriend who was over via the photos who was very impressed by my selection knowing us both very well. Well shit, that just made it even harder to wait for it to arrive.

The day it did arrive I was doing an interview with the Liquid Inspiration Podcast boys C.J and Daz and was in the middle of telling the story when Mr. 2010 himself walked in the door from work and we were all privy to his “you got me” response right there on the taping. Since seeing it he has mostly been heard muttering to himself about how the hell he is going to top this. *coughs rubs lapel*.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 12th, 2010 at 11:31 and is filed under ABC IV, Bits of Silly, TETAS, Unadulterated Fun, Us. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. All content (c) 2005 - 2010 Gus Greeper, unless otherwise credited. All rights reserved.