Calendar Wars.
So basically we don’t follow the rules and we only have one tradition it started innocently enough with a Nuns Having Fun calendar, it was deemed Adam’s pick and then the next year brought forth a gift of a calendar making it technically my pick and then the calendar that changed everything, the calendar that meant war. Need I say more than Adam’s pick and Men with Buns? Oh and click this link now for some Men with Buns action, you want to trust me.
For a full year I endured that calendar almost every moment of it hurt and I LOVE BUNNIES more than the next guy in most cases but not that much. June is always a shit month in calendars it is probably the only thing I don’t like about June is that it is never represented well in calendars. I didn’t even have a “well at least there’s a cute guy and cute bunny for June” it was just all horrid.
Last year, my pick, I got him so good I didn’t even care how many times I knew I would and did groan having to look at it almost every day but Jeff Foxworthy, You Might be a Red Neck If it was. TAKE THAT. It freaks me out that I used to find him funny, the North man; it fucks with your head.
Today, we went on the annual hunt waiting until they are 50% off is obviously the way to go because right there you are already dealing with a lack of good calendars. When looking for the best of the worst this is key.
Book stores to me are like liquor stores for alcoholics, I can not enter one and not buy a book. I can’t it goes against all logical thinking in my mind. I went off to look at books so Adam would have his space told him to come find me when he had a pile for me to help him go through. I found the books I wanted and was headed with him back to the calendars when I saw a calendar called The Big Breast Calendar and asked if that was the one he had chosen, to make a long story short, Adam pussied out and fell for the porn he seems to already be regretting his decision to not have the nads to stand by a full year of shit on the wall like I did. And ALL I have to say to that is I can’t fucking wait for next year but for now bring on the twelve months of big titties. There are more photos from inside the calendar on Flickr. [NSFW]
Had he been thinking on Christmas Eve when this Hedy Fry calendar arrived in the mail he’d have picked it. I can not believe that bitch invaded my Christmas Eve with her stupid calendar with her stupid face on it, now that would have been hard for me to look at all year instead I immediately destroyed it by ripping it into a lot of pieces and then threw it all over the room laughing hysterically at her nerve and then I recycled it. I get more mail from her than from the idiots I actually vote for.
January 1st, 2009 at 19:17
i had a feeling about the Giant Grid.. i guess i just dont have the energy to be ironic this year. foxworthy broke my spirit.
January 1st, 2009 at 19:26
@besthusbandever thank you for the awesome day i haven’t smiled or laughed that hard and much all year.
ps. don’t touch my xbox controller.
pps. see you on the couch.
January 1st, 2009 at 22:18
awesome pick! Happy New Year and all that jazz……will be catching up with you soon I hope
January 1st, 2009 at 22:48
it’s a lot better than the foxworthy that was seriously painful. yes, i have been shitty with email and can’t call because i called my aunt in toronto so i have no minutes till the 8th. i’ll email you tomorrow.
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:06
I had a calendar tradition for years where I would send my Bolivian bro-in-law a Playboy calendar every year. (something my wife protested each time to no avail) In fact I sent each person in the family in Bolivia a calendar of some sorts. That ended this year when I had calendars made from my photos and cut it down to one per household.
January 2nd, 2009 at 13:12
I’m hoping that this years calendar will be more fun than last years Dali calendar. It was too grim even for me. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for Marvel Superheroes or Rocky Horror.
The last two pics made cheered me up on a very crap day.
January 3rd, 2009 at 17:35
You are a pretty lame individual to take joy out of such a childish action such as ripping up a calendar from a public servant and posting it online. Get a life. Hedy Fry is so much better than you will ever dream to be and a hell of a lot better looking even though she is twice your age. Spend your energy getting a make over loser.
January 3rd, 2009 at 17:40
thank you for that awesome laugh you just gave my husband and i. feel free to leave some more awesome comments Brad. don’t hold back, express yourself.
January 4th, 2009 at 12:06
It seems you have infinitely better taste in calendars than I do. I’m currently stuck with a Stanford Universtiy one that was a gift. Twelve months of staring at some seriously uninteresting buildings full of brainy people.
January 4th, 2009 at 19:23
Men with Buns was my favorite.
January 5th, 2009 at 05:50
That 3rd pic is so awesome. You look perplexed and enraged at the same time.
Also boobies are good. boobies.
January 6th, 2009 at 10:25
Oh my fucking GOD I love this!!!! That is a GREAT tradition. I checked out the big tits pic’s on flickr. Holy lord, the tits hanging over the shower door is classic. love it! love it! LOVE IT!!!
Oh and not buying a book while in a book store is just sacreligeous!!! I can’t do it either :O)
January 6th, 2009 at 21:34
Next year you’ll have to find “Men with Big Breasts”. That’d teach him!
January 7th, 2009 at 09:06
There is always room for big ol titties on the wall….hahah I love it! I also love the Hedy fry calendar, though i am a tad miffed that my mailbox was not holding one for me….
January 9th, 2009 at 04:11
Brad McFadden. You, sir/madam, are what we in merry old England would call a wanker.
January 12th, 2009 at 15:21
Hahaha, I love the idea of the nuns having fun calendar.
February 9th, 2009 at 13:22
[...] First I wasn’t going to go to the pre dinner because it costs $25 per person and we don’t have $50 on top of the $80 I had already paid to attend the conference. Not to mention I noticed that the dinner was sponsored by the BC Liberal Party, I think that I made my opinion on the Liberal Party rather clear in my post on how we select our yearly calendar. [...]
January 12th, 2010 at 12:06
[...] may want to read the original Calendar Wars post and the link in the first paragraph. Or I guess you can just take my word for it in my brief [...]