I know the reason that you talked behind my back I used to be among the crowd you’re in with, do you take me for such a fool to think I’d make contact with the one who tries to hide what it don’t know
Some of you know that as part of my ‘finding myself’ and ‘growing’ as a person and being ‘me’ that I’ve had to make some hard decisions in regards to some of my friends, my family and my lack of a career in the past year. One of the harder decisions was ending a long standing friendship with a girlfriend. I had to take myself out of the equation. This friendship caused me so much stress; it gave me a pretty good indication of what I’m sure people who have kicked me to the curb have felt for sure. Of all friendships lost in life thus far this has been the hardest to deal with for too many reasons to even get into.
In some ways we still try to talk to one another but in others I don’t think either of us really tries very hard at all. I guess I get irritated because a lot of the reasons I ended the friendship she is just realizing now and trying to put back on me as if she JUST came up with it confirming I made the right decision but at the same time I get so angry with how much someone I’m not even friends with any more still consumes my life, it is completely different than getting over a man.
Adam and I both had full intentions of still inviting her to the wedding, which she knew, but I still find myself too irritated and pissed off at this woman’s inability to see past the end of her shoes - as of now I’ve changed my mind back to no. We also agree that even if we invite her she won’t show up anyway - whether she says she will or not. I’ve known this woman a long time. And from what I’ve seen she ain’t changing any time soon which is fine with me, except for the obvious pain that comes with the loss of any serious friendship, I don’t have to deal with her shit anymore.
One of the things I found the most painful about the way this woman treated me at times was played out again this morning and I found my feelings hurt all over again.
I found myself particularly pissed off when I was going through the M section of our CD’s and was like FUCK I KNOW I have more than one Holly McNarland CD.
And then it hit me.
NOT ONLY DID I have more than one -I’m missing the one called ‘Stuff’, my copy was autographed, I’ve seen her live numerous times and met her briefly when I worked in the music industry.
Said EX friend borrowed the CD and ruined it. Lost the CD too, I don’t know I’ve never gotten it back.
She did this with my stuff constantly. And the worst is she never EVER replaced even ONE thing she destroyed.
I can’t help but laugh at the fact that the song that reminds her of US is ‘Perfect Girl’ by Sarah McLachlan and the song that makes ME think of US is ‘Positively 4th Street’ by Bob Dylan.
I have such issues with women in general I am THOROUGHLY enjoying my brand new copy of, Tripping the Prom Queen. So far there is not one part of this book that I can not relate to some experience I’ve had with some woman somewhere and from both sides.
I will do a full review when finished.
