I went to buy a basic black bikini from American Apparel the other day and the change room had four way mirrors and I noticed a small white line between my ass cheeks and my legs. But then I lifted up my ass cheeks and discovered that the little white line was not so little. It is not sexy or becoming of me either. So basically I start tanning to avoid tan lines for my wedding dress and end up with laughable tan lines that the American Apparel chick even commented that she used to laugh her ASS OFF at the women who HAD THOSE when she worked in MEXICO. We are going to MEXICO. It looks like I have two extra vaginas or something.
In this dire situation I had and have no one to blame but Adam. He doesn’t think it is his fault. I KNOW it is not his fault but whatever for all intents and purposes it is. He claims I mentioned when I first started tanning that I had a wee line and he figured I knew it was there. UMMMM NO. I guess maybe I should but I don’t spend hours in front of the mirror examining myself unless it is to pop zits or push out ingrown hairs. I just found one in my leg so long it was ready to curl around a ligament I know it. In these photos I have already, the day before, applied self tanner I have left over from whenever to try and darken it.
I’m going to tan now and try and darken up my ass lines. Something tells me I might burn my vag trying to fix this shit.
