My period was late this month which I have to say once you get married I think is total bull shit it should not be allowed to be late anymore unless there is a baby in there. When we weren’t married it would add some excitement and stress when it was late and then when I’d get it, it was like THANK JESUS NO BABY FOR US!
To put it bluntly we don’t use anything, we tried, I spoke to doctors and everything. I have a very sensitive vag it doesn’t like rubbers. It eats them and I burn, doesn’t matter what kind we have tried every kind and tried different lubes and blah blah blah. The pill as mentioned [before] makes me CRAZIER. And the vag is too sensitive for shit like rings, foam, sponges etc.
Now, this does have its problems. I have never OFFICIALLY wanted babies. I’m not super big on astrology but I seem to fit being a Gemini very well. I have two very separate and distinct personalities. Some may say everyone does some may say I should talk to myself less. Before we got married I made it clear to Adam I spend 50% of the time NOT wanting kids AT ALL and 50% of the time wanting two. There is no middle ground I’m either having a day where I want them or I don’t. It has been like this for YEARS. The clock starting ticking around 25, I remember it well. Discussing it with girlfriends and saying HEY what the fuck is this I NEVER EVER wanted kids and now my BODY is trying to tell me I DO what GIVES?????
There is that part of me that is disappointed my vag started gushing menstrual blood and clots yesterday, because it was late my legs were doing the involuntary twitch kick because my cramps were so bad- they are always worse when it’s late- I was as I am almost every month convinced I was dying, but that is it, disappointed, but I’m also slightly relieved.
Babies are cute, teenagers not so much and when I think far a head I think take me off the ‘can have list’ tie me off I don’t even need to worry about it.
I was clear with Adam about this. I mean he has sex with me without protection so I think he knows a baby COULD develop.
I’m willing to leave it up to nature because I can’t decide. I’m not willing to sacrifice my sex life when I already have sex drive issues from meds, my semi recent past, and my childhood past- just THE PAST. Adding the stress of birth control and an angry vag into the mix and the moment can quickly fade.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 22nd, 2006 at 8:38 am and is filed under MY MUSIC. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. All content (c) 2005 - 2008 Gus Greeper, unless otherwise credited. All rights reserved.