I do love having the last name Carlson. You’d think I�d even like being able to be a little anonymous for a while but the adjustment and letting go of LISCUMB once I made the decision to do so is not as easy as I thought it would be. And to think I haven’t even started to change over anything legally. I want to change it, don’t get me wrong for all intents and purposes I already have. It just comes with feelings of loss of identity or for me it does anyway and now I have to build a new one without losing all of the old one. Not that I can even say I liked the old one anyway which is sad but I don�t think you can suffer from depression as severe as I do and honestly say you like yourself. And if you can then tell me everything about it please. Doesn�t matter how many people tell you how great you are the cloud cover only allows in so much light [I bet I�ll tell Dr. B I wrote that on Friday and get in shit I know it and he�ll make me explain myself and I�ll have to go all spewing feelings and pain and anger on him and shit but I really feel that way].
When I wrote [b]this post[/b] all of your comments were awesome I appreciated them all very much especially the poll that BC Web took at their front desk. The biggest issue for me was always being a female only child and my father has six sisters so it is bye bye to Liscumb moving on any further in this family. It is hard to say and spell etc, I got picked on BIG TIME for it in school from the day I entered till the day I left there is still the odd person who will bust out a good HEY LIC -A- BUM, or a hey lic-a-bum licks cum. I can and do laugh at that- come on how can I not but it was horrid as a kid. My Dad and sisters had suffered the same fate it isn�t like these kids were being original.
The wedding was greeping up and I seriously still had NO IDEA. I DID NOT want to end my name. I did want to be Mrs. Carlson. I did not want a fourteen letter long hyphenate. One of my biggest issues was our possible un-conceived children. Adam as many of you knows is not just ABC he is ABC IV. Which means family tradition. A family tradition four MEN strong. Basically meaning whether I gave up my last name or not if we where to have a boy first it will be ABC V and that is that. I agreed to that in like the first year of dating we are in year four now HA but we aren�t dating anymore. The tradition is rad. But it started to bother me that I�d have a completely different last name from my son. Given that I was only focused on baby boys and tradition I had never even considered what was suggested. Why did it have to be a boy to be ABC V. WHY couldn�t it be a girl ABC V? I went into this unrehearsed defense speech on the tradition and how there was no way I could even ask him I couldn�t even picture it but it got things churning up there fast when she reminded me that NOTHING was traditional about us and I felt for the first time that if he�d go for it I�d finally feel better about the whole thing and maybe even make some progress in deciding.
Bringing it up was interesting I totally put it on my friend yeah I�m a coward fuck me it was a big deal I didn�t want to get in a fight and whatever I�ve let friends do that shit. Holy no need to get defensive Corinna. Anyway. I told him about our chit chat. To my surprise, amazement and a moment of never feeling so loved in my entire life not only did he agree to girl ABC V he thought it was the best idea ever and we right then gave the unborn child the middle name of Barracuda or something.
I decided if he was willing to break a family tradition like that I was willing to end my name. I have not started to practice my new signature yet. I never did the Mrs. Corinna Carlson on the page 100 times in a 100 different ways thing. Plus AS IF I�m not going to make use of the CAC and use my initials as a signature. Beats the insanely long one I have now. Or does it? I guess it will just be a smaller CAC. I better get started.
