Happy Halloween!!

Sometimes you get a Trick and sometimes you get a Treat.
From me you get a Trick cause I ummm posted this last year but we’ve never forgotten about it and I think Paul Simon would be pleased or something.

fifty ways to leave your fifty hoes in fifty different area codes

have you ever wondered why paul simon only gives us these 5 ways to leave your lover in a song inaptly named 50 ways to leave your lover�?
so did we.
wonder no more. in honour of Halloween and our sick minds having nothing better to do, ABC and i bring you what we feel paul simon MAY have chosen as possible ways.

Paul Simon’s Original Ways

you just slip out the back, jack
make a new plan, stan
you don’t need to be coy, roy
just get yourself free
hop on the bus, gus
you don’t need to discuss much
just drop off the key, lee
and get yourself free

45 Additional Ways

shoot her in the face, ace
leave on a jet plane, jane
cut off his leg, greg
hammer in her brain, raine
lock him in the morgue, borg
stick her with a sword, gord
bite off his cock, spock
stick her with a shank, frank
cook fatty foods, contributing to his heart disease, louise
whack her with a bat, pat
have an affair, clare
bop her car with a glock, doc
feed him to a demon, eamonn
hit him with a brick, rick
cast him into hell, nell
grind her flesh into macaroni, tony
push him off his bike, mike
snip her e-brake, jake
weld closed her flu, lou
toss a grenade, jade
bomb her, dahmer
hire a hitman, fran
leave her in a ditch, mitch
lock him in the sauna, lana
stab her in the ass, cass
give him ebola, lola
freeze her in ice, bryce
throw him in the cage with a baaaadaassss panda, miranda
leave her in a gator’s death roll, joel
have his murder committed by people in your commune, june
tie him to a sled, fred
club her with an ancient artifact at the museum, liam
hang him from a tree, marie
make her watch Full House, clause
give her crabs, babs
take a dump on her rug, doug
drop him off a bridge, midge
poke out his eye, di
fuck him to death, beth
kill her in the sack, zach
beat him with a lock in a sock, tupac
ditch her at the mall, jamal
clock her with your sand wedge, reg
leave her at the altar, walter
show him the guillotine, eileen

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 31st, 2006 at 6:27 am and is filed under Unadulterated Fun. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. All content (c) 2005 - 2008 Gus Greeper, unless otherwise credited. All rights reserved.