I’ve had a headache for more days than I can remember now. I think it is from the Zoloft I’m not 100% sure but nothing is helping it and those are my absolute favorite headaches.
I think the Zoloft is giving me the hiccups too, when I first went on it I got the hiccups really bad and then when I upped the dose I got them again. Chances are when the dose goes up again I will get them again and then I will know for sure and be cursing it again. I hate stuff that helps you and fucks you up at the same time. RE: every anti-depressant I’ve ever been on. It is just annoying and frustrating. And having been on them before you get used to the way they kick in, the subtleness of it with the dosage increase every week or two. The subtle changes in your mood the side affects are pretty obvious. For the three something months I was off the tits I hardly remembered my dreams at all. My dreams are super vivid and freaky again. Like I dreamt a woman had peach fuzz all over her body but not like normal face peach fuzz and not like werewolf people but long blonde peach fuzzy hair was covering her body and I was afraid it was going to happen to me. Obviously related to hating the peach fuzz on my face but a bit extreme if you ask me.
I prefer to call the tits salad as apposed to ‘cocktail’ because salads are better for you unless you acquire a parasite and calling it a colorful tits salad puts a more positive spin on it I think. Two pink, one beige and one yellow. And then one pink, one beige and a yellow at bed and a yellow for lunch too. I need to get a tit holder like I’m old so that I can remember if I take my lunch one or not a 32A should about do it they are all small with very little girth.
I have more motivation, vigor and pep but it comes and goes and I don’t FEEL better yet. It is a confusing feeling when you feel yourself starting to feel better but don’t yet. My suicidal thoughts have definitely decreased I’m not walking around like a zombie plotting my death and tearing faces off. Other than making it out for morning walks with the baby mama I’m still not too keen on being out much or talking to anyone. I know it takes a while for the drugs to kick in I just hate waiting I just want to feel better and get on with it until I have my next ‘I’m fine I don’t need tits I want to go off I’m going off- crash- back on’ granted we have discussed and Dr. B compared me to Elizabeth Taylor with how my mood disorder may simply be so great that I will need ‘something’ forever. Not anywhere near the amount of what I’m taking now but something. I said I’d really have preferred a comparison to Naomi Campbell but he didn’t know who she was but I told him she got mood disorder problems that woman, big ones. I basically agree with this because my anger and temper are so extreme I just can’t live in that rage filled head. I’m still suffering paranoid delusions, analyzing everything to an extreme OCD amount BUT that is also less prominent and I have breaks where I feel really good they just are not lasting overly long right now.
The tunnel is still really long and small and only lit with 10 watt light bulbs. The 20 watts come in next week or maybe 60’s if I’m lucky.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 8th, 2006 at 8:35 pm and is filed under ABC IV, Becoming Mrs. Carlson. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. All content (c) 2005 - 2008 Gus Greeper, unless otherwise credited. All rights reserved.