Therapy at the Movies
Friday I started riding the monthly cotton pony and my cramps set in about two hours before seeing my shrink. Fantastic, I think that was the first time I have ever taken advantage of the cinematically stereotypical lay down on the couch session. The couch is so comfy and has so many pillows I generally just sit up and hold the pillowy softness.
So, last night we headed out to see Spiderman 3 with our friend John and my Mom. John had free passes and took Adam and me. We were in a tiny rush. I remembered to take a pill for my cramps before we left but I realized after we’d already picked up John and were almost at the theatre that I had not only forgotten to change the cotton for the excursion but I hadn’t even brought a new bullet with me. FUUUUCCCCCK.
I was wearing Yoga pants, the same pants I had worn on Friday for the walk over to my shrink’s office and had asked my Mom to put an extra bullet in her purse for me. I didn’t have a bag or pockets on me either time. I asked her if she happened to have my bullet on her.
No. Shit.
Adam being the old fashioned gentleman that he is had a brand spankin’ new handkerchief on him and offered it to me as a makeshift pad. We basically all laughed and John learned more than I think any gay man needs to know about a woman’s period, as I stressed out about leakage and stainage and flow strength given it was barely day two.
When we got to the theatre I gave her a quick check figuring it still had a good hour or two at least left in it only to discover that it was of course already starting to leak. GO FIGURE the tampon dispenser was OUT OF ORDER. [when aren’t they seriously!?] I went back out and motioned for Adam to hand over the hankie to use in conjunction. I felt like a lady from the 1970’s bringing back the cloth pad except the size and shape were all wrong and there was nothing to hold it to my gonch.
Ladies if you had them, let us not forget the years of pad wearing and ‘IS MY PAD SHOWING’ paranoia. I WAS IN YOGA PANTS and have not worn a pad since middle school! At least I didn’t have a camel toe but I felt like everyone was staring at my ass and the tiny bit of extra space in my crotch area but I’m sure no one noticed, but still, NOT THE POINT.
We find our seats and I’m thinking about the walk home and how quickly I am going to want to get out of there when suddenly out of the corner of my eye I see him. I see my shrink. GREAT. He sits to the left of us one row down. He has arrived kind of late so he is on the side. I have never ever ever run into him outside of the office and so I started to flip out like a teenage girl for a minute like he was Elvis or something. I don’t know exactly when he saw me but he saw me and he heard me for sure my laugh is EXTREMELY distinctive. You can’t miss it, no way, no how. At the end of the movie I felt him turn in my direction but I turned away as to not make any eye contact really I did not know what to do. I didn’t want to cross any out of office boundaries and I have no idea why but I felt like some giddy school girl seeing him with whom I assume was his partner and friends. Vancouver is a very small city it was inevitable I was going to run into him I’m just shocked it took four years.
I’ll walk in next Friday and just start with: So, Spiderman 3 eh�?
By the way, Spidey was pretty good. Except for Kirsten Dunst but you know going in you have to put up with her. I had a low expectation for the film which is probably why I liked it and of the three I liked it the most. I will probably remember the movie too, I forget what most are about sometimes within a day of watching them with how many movies we watch, but between the clothes and theatre seat saving hankie and watching a movie a row from my shrink I think I�ll be playing the remember that time game a lot with this one.
