I really can’t say I thought I would ever write a post such as this, I’m not known as a particularly modest person but I’m also not known as an overly secure person either so even if I say nice things about myself there is little or no conviction behind them unless I’m going off about my running days, good luck shutting me up then.

I have been working so hard, so so hard. The only thing that isn’t falling into place is my weight but it will come and I am nowhere near as hung up on it as I was I’m beginning to accept that I have always been thin and small boned.  My weight gain may have really been just what I was calling it, the newlywed fifteen.  This month we’ll have been together five years and we just celebrated our two year wedding anniversary, so we are for sure not newlyweds anymore.

Yesterday I was asked by a new doctor how I have been feeling in regards to my depression right now.  And I said and meant it that I haven’t felt this good in years, if ever.

• I saw my shrink yesterday for the first time since July 26 2008 and I didn’t have any sort of break down of any kind,
• The lowering of my medication is still going extremely well, I know this because;
• I just spent three weeks almost every day with my mother and my father was here too but I didn’t see him as much. I prefer to see my parents in their area, which was up north because our apartment is small, we don’t have or want a car, I’m pretty boring and don’t like to leave my apartment and I just find it extremely stressful spending long periods of time with almost anyone but Adam,
• In that three weeks I only lost my temper and raised my voice a few times in the first couple of days and that was also because I had bad PMS when they arrived,
• When it comes to my life online I for serious learned to relax. I have not checked my stats even once since I said I wasn’t going to months back now, when people are talking about stuff that is pissing me off cause I’m not invited or something, I know damn well I’m likely only not invited because I’m not a tech blogger and some people in the social media scene do know that my social anxiety does still take over at times. But see before I’d take that shit personally. I don’t care and in the cases where I do care I walk away from the computer, it really is that easy,
• I have stopped napping during the day. Even when I have a bad headache with the drop in my meds I have way too much energy. And if I’m having a bad day I still find I can convince myself I’m going to be able to fall asleep only to find myself back out in the living room frustrated but present,
• Life threw me a curve ball the other day that given the compassion I have learned to exhibit over the years was extremely hard for me to turn away from but I’ve worked way too hard not to and I can’t feel guilty for that;
• I got off my ass and have been to five Yoga classes. My classes are one and a half hours long and rule. Yoga is on break but starts back up on the 15^th, now that I’m not sick anymore I will start doing it in the apartment and should therefore be running again by the end of the month. Yoga is filled with instant gratification which I love my lost muscles are coming back already which gives me hope for my knee [I/T band] getting strong again.

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 6th, 2008 at 10:54 am and is filed under Depression & Therapy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. All content (c) 2005 - 2008 Gus Greeper, unless otherwise credited. All rights reserved.