Congratulations!
I wrote a really lame Haiku and it was on the fridge and so when I took a photo of it I included my Congratulations You’re an Asshole card. When I was in the United States Aughra gave one of these to Jenn and I and although we wanted to hand out the cards who really wants to give up a card this cool? As IF I’m not an asshole deserving of this card at times anyway.
If only I had a double sided photo copier I’d be the most loved bandit in the West End saving our neighborhood from gay bashing fuckers. [must read posts on this local travesty Miss604 & Raul] I think I’d put my first card on West End BIA Executive Director Lynn Hellyar’s car checking the other box and demand she stop blaming Surrey for the appalling assault that took place the other day in the West End. Aside from the inexcusable act itself, even if the attackers were from Surrey WHO CARES, it is NOT the root of the problem so stop being an ignorant asshole and take responsibility for the issues we face in the West End WITH OR WITHOUT SURREY! If memory serves the last brutal attack against a homosexual citizen took place in Stanly Park. If anyone knows where that attacker was from please feel free to leave it in the comments to help prove IT DOESN’T MATTER.
This will likely be an unpopular statement but the ignorant dialogue surrounding this most recent attack is reminiscent to me of constantly hearing for lack of better example American news media personalities blaming Canada and Mexico for drug and terrorist related problems. I am so sorry but how about the government spend some of that money going to the war on border control before you just automatically spout off some ridiculous excuse as to how Canada and or Mexico has gotten America into various fixes. Most recently the Heroin epidemic plaguing a large majority of U.S. rural areas is NOT Mexico’s fault. Please, I just want to barf all over the TV when I hear these excuses.
On that note, because I was asked what the back options were, here is my Asshole card.
*click on photos to enlarge*
October 1st, 2008 at 11:54 am
I’ve ordered these! (and used them) check it out if you need more!
http://www.glarkware.com/productcart/pc/viewPrd.asp?idcategory=&idproduct=2096
October 1st, 2008 at 11:59 am
I completely agree, Corinna, and great post (and thanks for the link love!) - it is irrelevant where the people come from, what is really relevant is that these bashings NEVER ever happen, EVER AGAIN.
October 1st, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Maybe it’s just lack of sleep, but my sense of geography has gone adrift. There’s another Surrey other than the county in the south of England?
I actually quite liked the Haiku. It makes as much sense as any of them, and at least this one sounds like you meant it, which is more than most people manage.
October 1st, 2008 at 6:59 pm
I think that the Sock Monkeys should be blamed for all the weird things going on because we never know what they’re doing at night. Just look at their mischievous smile - it only makes sense that they wreaked havoc all the way from Wall Street to West End.
When are they going public?
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:20 pm
@Shawnte sweet! im sure she told me where she got them but my memory is crap and i do forget.
@Raul i had a feeling you would on this one
i thought of you the other day while ranting over some of the blame being placed on Mexico over the Heroin. i try to give their wording the benefit of the doubt most of the time but sometimes i just can’t.
@stu there is a Surrey in England. if Mr. C.J. Hixon happens to read this im sure he would be glad to give us all a lesson on the Surrey of England.
@luc we should have never ever let those suckers organize their own army. we may not live to learn. watch them start blaming it all on bananas.
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
THANK YOU!!
Oh man, thats funny. I could have used one of those the other day when my neighbour just stared at me while I STRUGGLED to get my things out of the trunk and close it with my arms full of grocieries.
Man, that pissed me off! Especially because he never says a word to me but if my boyfriend is around its all hellos and smiles.
October 3rd, 2008 at 1:20 am
As far as I can tell I’m only guilty of 3 on that list.
I don’t shovel sidewalks because there aren’t any where I live (and if there were I’d call them Pavements)
Not controlling dog, he seems to do fine without my guidance, without any amount of my so called “control” he’s managed to become the youngest ever CEO of British Petroleum. What a good boy!
Bringing child to an R rated film, again Yes he’s 8 but that’s 56 in dog years. What a good boy! Handsome too.
Yes indeed there is both a Surrey and a West End here in Blighty.
I of course would like to draw your attention to Surrey County Council’s website: http://www.surreycc.gov.uk/ which is good enough to inform me that “New legislation to increase the penalty for using a hand-held phone whilst driving came into force on 27 February 2007. The fine has been increased to £60 and three penalty points on your licence which could mean higher insurance costs.” riveting stuff!
To answer the question, Surrey is one of the oldest counties of Southern England that borders Greater London, Kent (C’mon generic Kentinsh Football Team!….er Gillingham! C’mon you blues!… I don’t even like football, Hockey eh?), East and West Sussex, Hampshire, and Berkshire (pronounced Barksheer for all you colonialists).
As for my beloved countryman Stu, You should know sir there have been copies of English place names going far back to that beautiful era in time when most of the globe looked pink, you also know what i’m talking aboot Canadians. That wonderful moment in school when you see the pink map and go “Wow! so we owned all this!” followed very shortly by a sickening moment when you get handed a newer map and go “Wow so we own that little bit by Argentina, how the fuck did that happen?” excellent. It is a fact that most copied place names are miss spelled, example: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holywood But as a Yorkshireman you will of course be familiar with the city of New York (Or New Amsterdam as I call it but only because I do not recognize American Independence). Needless to say I’m a buff old traditionalist and do not feel that we as a nation need to be concerned with the so called glitz and glamor of these ‘new fangled’ places.
New York? The proper York has got 2 Asdas and a Morrison’s! Stick that in your fanny packs and smoke it USA.
P.S
It’s Red and in the post, and should be there soon……
xoxox
P.P.S Bert says woof.
xo
October 11th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Man, I could leave my apartment with an arm load of those and use them all within 20 minutes around here.
October 13th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
i.must.have.one.