I know that I will never be viewed as a calm person by any stretch of the meaning.  But I hear ‘you are calm compared to how you used to be’, a lot.  I’ve learned to give people the benefit of the doubt and not be so reactionary. 

insert mini tangent here;

If you almost hit me with your car it is still 50/50 whether I’ll flip out and punch and/or kick your vehicle but Adam almost has me convinced that it isn’t worth it to break my thumb which I’ve almost done more than a few times and had my gamer time cut into because I have no use of my thumb but that is because no one can drive here and when you are taught how to drive by someone who not only worked at ICBC for twenty plus years and has a perfect driving record AND I was taught on mountain roads with switch backs, I simply have no patience and NO sympathy for your sorry ass driving and I quite frankly LOVE putting a dent in your luxury vehicle cause you probably bought your licence anyway so HAHA on you getting it fixed under your deductible.

end mini tangent.

When it comes to living your life in the open online I think most people tend to think they know a lot about you.  I am 100% myself on my blog, exaggeration not included. But it doesn’t mean I share everything about myself, although almost.

People know I talk a lot, and one of the things I have learned the hard way this year is that something that I am saying about whatever, say about tech stuff, like how Wordpress works and blogging in general I know now that I know nothing.  I don’t get any of it, I do not ask for help with anything blogging related from anyone I know in the Vancouver scene anymore because it has brought me nothing but trouble. I don’t give a fuck who believes me and who doesn’t but I’ve said a lot of shit about tech that I had no idea would be considered backstabbing it was what happened. But just like anything else it blew up and some people still think I’m an asshole and that they’ve been enlightened or some shit when really you just heard the side from the people who KNOW what they are talking about. 

I stopped talking about tech shit with all but two people in Vancouver and I trust them both or three including Adam, I have outsourced the work I need done and have no problem paying for it to avoid any drama. 

And there is that little word we all love so much: DRAMA.

Another thing I’ve pulled away from is drama, I only talk to those three people about anything blogging related and again I trust them so if you hear that I’ve said something you are just that hearing it.   In fact to prove my point when I happen to show at parties there are people who STILL bring up my drunken sippy cup incident.  Like for serious that is IT no one has ANYTHING else on me so you pick on me for something that happened seven months ago and after I had a fucking break down for fucks sake.

If there is one thing I’ve learned in the last seven and a half months it is who my friends are in Vancouver’s blog world and let’s be honest I don’t have many I can trust, but I’m not sorry if the truth hurts when I call out your bull shit.  I don’t have any desire to cause drama or be involved in drama so I’ve stayed the fuck out of it, till today.  When people are being assholes on Twitter I sign off, I walk away.  Thanks to someone I hold in very high regard in going through all I’ve gone through since March, I am no longer an emotional unlinker, unfollower, unfriender, whatever you want to call it.  I made the decision to be accepting and realize that everyone has his or her own opinion whether based on the truth or not. 

But what I can’t handle and I just recently had a discussion with a girlfriend about is people who unlink, unfriend, or unfollow you one place but not everywhere.  In this day and age when you don’t have to end anything face to face anymore it is a total mind fuck when you unfollow me on Twitter, unfriend me on Flickr but then you leave me on your Facebook account for example like seriously you obviously don’t like me so fuck off. 

There are a few people who I have made up my mind that I do not want to be friends with in this cities blog world anymore. Specifically people who slagged Vancouver bloggers to me behind their backs only to become friends with them and of course it got back to me that I was then being slagged. But because I didn’t want to cause drama I have left them on everything, my Facebook, I follow them on Twitter etc. because it’s a fucking community and we are all bloody adults and should for the most part be able to get the fuck along.  But I just can’t stand petty assholes.  

Before I write out what I wrote in my journal I will preface it with this dude who has been staying here longer than me is a recovering alcoholic who just fell off the wagon, he is a nice guy but creepy none the less and he has a lot of stories, the woman he normally lives with when he isn’t out for work is here visiting him.

I was sitting outside smoking a joint and drunk dude came and sat next to me.

November 1′2008 3:41pm Eastern

Ummm creepy dude staying here just made me extremely uncomfortable. So even though he has commented that I need to beef up and takes off my wee hunting cap* when I wear it and gave me free pot to take it off was I don’t know trying to comfort me today because I’m flipping out awesome style right now and asked if he could hug me and I’m all sure so he hugs me and KISSED MY NECK! HELLO there is a lady friend in his room and he kisses my neck? I have been married the duration of my stay and then some. Then to make matters worse he invites me down to his room to ‘shoot the shit’ but adds all coy like that he has something else in mind - after he had offered me a cooler so it wasn’t the cooler he had in mind. See, he doesn’t want this lady friend who is in his room to be there and apparently brings other ladies home with her there or I’d not have taken that as a sexual innuendo or was it? He had just kissed my neck and probably had a pervert’s boner.

* I wasn’t smoking his pot, the hat incident happened in my first week.  Long story short he didn’t like how I looked in the hunting cap and offered me a joint to take off the hat. I don’t turn down free pot.

I wrote a really lame Haiku and it was on the fridge and so when I took a photo of it I included my Congratulations You’re an Asshole card.  When I was in the United States Aughra gave one of these to Jenn and I and although we wanted to hand out the cards who really wants to give up a card this cool?  As IF I’m not an asshole deserving of this card at times anyway.

If only I had a double sided photo copier I’d be the most loved bandit in the West End saving our neighborhood from gay bashing fuckers. [must read posts on this local travesty Miss604 & Raul]  I think I’d put my first card on West End BIA Executive Director Lynn Hellyar’s car checking the other box and demand she stop blaming Surrey for the appalling assault that took place the other day in the West End.  Aside from the inexcusable act itself, even if the attackers were from Surrey WHO CARES, it is NOT the root of the problem so stop being an ignorant asshole and take responsibility for the issues we face in the West End WITH OR WITHOUT SURREY! If memory serves the last brutal attack against a homosexual citizen took place in Stanly Park.  If anyone knows where that attacker was from please feel free to leave it in the comments to help prove IT DOESN’T MATTER.

This will likely be an unpopular statement but the ignorant dialogue surrounding this most recent attack is reminiscent to me of constantly hearing for lack of better example American news media personalities blaming Canada and Mexico for drug and terrorist related problems.  I am so sorry but how about the government spend some of that money going to the war on border control before you just automatically spout off some ridiculous excuse as to how Canada and or Mexico has gotten America into various fixes.  Most recently the Heroin epidemic plaguing a large majority of U.S. rural areas is NOT Mexico’s fault.  Please, I just want to barf all over the TV when I hear these excuses.

On that note, because I was asked what the back options were, here is my Asshole card.

*click on photos to enlarge*

I knew the day was going to come where I would sign into Facebook and it would say that I was going to be forced to change to the new Facebook. Bloody hell the day came.

I know people including Adam who refuse to even look at the new platform, I looked at it almost barfed and went back to the old one ruing the day they would force me to change over.  I’m a pattern person, I have issues with change, I accept it but that doesn’t mean I ever have to like it and as long as I know what I’m talking about or at least think I do I don’t have a problem complaining about it.

Sometimes Adam doesn’t trust the internet so when he signed up for Facebook he used the very formal Acronym Bradley Carlson and put up a photo that he looks like the REALZ Haley Joel Osment in.  The photo part is irrelevant I’m just mentioning it because I think that maybe the number one thing that Adam misses about Facebook is that Haley had just accepted him as a friend.  Who knows where that Facebook friendship may have gone, I mean the resemblance is pretty uncanny.

One day Adam got pissed off because Facebook would not stop trying to encourage him to check out the new Facebook and so he sent them an email;

i do not want the new facebook platform thank you for pushing it on me every time i log in. i can feel your lack of humanity. your ads suck

To which Facebook responded with,

Hi,

I aplogize for this inconvenience, but your account has been temporarily disabled because it was created with a fake name. Fake names are a violation of our Terms of Use.  Facebook requires users to provide their full first and last names (i.e. no initials).  Nicknames can be used in the form of FirstName ‘NickName’ LastName, but only if they are a variation on your real first or last name, such as ‘Bob’ instead of ‘Robert’.  Additionally, please note that impersonating anyone or anything is prohibited.

If you would like to use this profile again, just get back to us with your real name, and we will reactivate the account for you.

Thanks for your understanding,

Homer
User Operations
Facebook

To which Adam responded with,

My full name is Acronym Bradley Carlson. Please reactivate my account.  If
your terms of use prohibit middle names, feel free to remove the Bradley.

yours truly,

Acronym Carlson

To which Facebook responded with,

Hi Acronym,

Thanks for providing this information. At this time, we cannot verify the ownership of the account. Please send a scanned image of a government issued ID (e.g. driver’s license) to idrequests@facebook.com in order to confirm your ownership of the account. Please black out any personal information that is not needed to verify your identity (e.g. social security number). Rest assured that we will permanently delete your ID from our servers once we have used it to verify the authenticity of your account.

Additionally, you should make sure to copy and paste all of our previous correspondence into your message when you reply. Once we have received this information, we will reevaluate the status of the account. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

Thanks for contacting Facebook,

Don
User Operations
Facebook

To which Adam responded with,

The irony of this whole situation is that I usually use a nickname when i
fill in forms because everyone always assumes I am using a nickname when I
write the real one. So I thought that on this platform I would for once use
my proper name so everyone could find me. I appreciate that you dont believe
my name to be Acronym Bradley Carlson, but I will not be persuaded to
provide you with copies of my identification. Please don’t take this
personally, I do not hold anything against your company, but I would never
provide such sensitive or private materials to any party on the web. I am a
little surprised that people would volunteer this type of information.

Too bad my name isn’t Rob Armstrong we could have avoided this whole
misunderstanding. Please reactivate my account, my wrestler is getting weak.
And I don’t know who’s having a birthday. sigh

yours truly, Acronym Bradley Carlson

To which Facebook responded with,

Hi,

Unfortunately, without ID verification, there is nothing further we can do to help re-activate your account.  Rest assured that we will permanently delete your ID from our servers once we have used it to verify the authenticity of your account.  Let me know if you have any further questions.

Thanks,

Don
User Operations
Facebook

Adam has not responded further to them.  They are obviously pissed because he shot down their stupid platform we took a screen shot of the Acronyms page; of course those users won’t get kicked off.  I’m sure they feel they have valid rights to our government issued IDs but this is Facebook we are talking about the above policies are so stupid I can hardly wrap my head around them, and I like your name too Homer.  It seriously licks not being able to send him flare and kick his ass at wrestling. Fucking Facebook you suck sweaty clammy balls.

During Vancouver’s most extreme rainy season, some people here call it winter, I do not walk over to my Shrink’s office - I take cabs. It is a little luxury I take the liberty of indulging in.

I’m well aware of the series ‘Vancouver’s Cab Crisis CTV News Investigates‘. BUT I have not watched, read or listened to any of their coverage, because a pretty good while before I saw it previewed as an upcoming News Investigation [other than it just being a space filler mentioned from time to time] I had already started an investigation of my own. It wasn’t that I ever had the intention of making any kind of relevant story out of it, I was just curious because I have always been a bit of a bus snob and it has only gotten worse with the city COVERED in construction for the 2010 Olympics, and thus I noticed the decline of anything even remotely resembling service rather quickly.

I started to notice it around Christmas so no one would even listen to me because it was Christmas and all I’d get was, ‘it is Christmas there are never any cabs’ and I would be like NO this is different you can feel it in the air something is wrong out there. I probably didn’t defend my claims exactly like that but I KNEW I WAS RIGHT!

Taking a cab is supposed to be somewhat relaxing and out of nowhere not only could I not find a cab and was almost late for therapy numerous times and had to wait up to thirty-five minutes outside a popular hotel for a cab home, I noticed that once I was in the cab the drivers suddenly started to act as if they had no idea how to drive around the city. To a resident it became crystal clear that due to everyone who lives in Metro-Vancouver knowing full well that what is known as the Cambie Bridge is OFF LIMITS - until if we are lucky 2010 and don’t forget that it is thanks to YOUR grandchildrens’ tax dollars - and that drivers were facilitating a mad conspiracy to screw us all.

So ok I will give you that getting in a cab and having to give EXACT street by street directions is not that bad, is not too much to ask, and obviously I had been taking it a tad for granted that everyone here is just so damn nice. Sure. Since last December I have seen more cabs drive right past my MAN HANDS WAVING than I have actually flagged since 1996 it makes me sick and I fear for us all in 2010 if cab drivers are treating us residents this poorly.

I started to ask the ones who didn’t dick me around and actually make ME explain WHY they shouldn’t take Cambie questions about what was going on in the city. For a while I was happy buying that due to the entire province needing workers that they were just short; but what wasn’t working for me was the excessive out of the way trips drivers were taking to get places, and I was letting them know. Sometimes I forget to give my route because I’m distracted or busy arguing with them about where the traffic is when I KNOW DAMN WELL THEY KNOW!!!! [Ps. I used to work directly with courier call centers FOR YEARS.] I would just give up and say go which ever way is fastest which means they take Cambie and before I realize and can do anything about it I’m already pretty much swearing at them.

The anger I had begun to feel just getting in a cab came to a peak of sorts when on the way home from my Shrink’s office recently with Adam in the cab, and on our dime the driver stopped his car, rolled down his window and started YELLING at people who had managed to flag a cab down town from the suburb of Langley - he YELLED don’t pay him he is out of his zone!!!!!! And the driver went into an elaborate speech about how the suburb cab companies were stealing their business. REALLY? Are they?

Sorry but I’d still pay the guy whether he is out of zone, area, whatever you want to call it cause guess what ass face HE STOPPED! This is when I thought hmmm maybe I should post on this.

Yesterday it hit the fan like a bird getting stuck in a jet engine there were feathers EVERYWHERE!

I get in, we argue over traffic and it is raining and I am EXTREMELY grumpy and ready for my session. I missed the street I should have asked him to turn down and it was too late. I began making comments, “I can’t believe you actually took Cambie in the rain”, “this ride costs me twelve dollars every Friday you’d better hope for no traffic”.

DEAD STOP. GRID LOCK!

By this time my anger is boiling, fiery red blood is about to spew all over him and burn him a new asshole. I consider calling Adam and just venting very loudly over how mad I am. But I was in a rage so I decided FUCK THIS I’m getting out. The meter was at $9.75 and we were not even half way across.

“I’m giving you a twenty right now, give me a ten I’m getting out.”

He of course doesn’t seem to like this but I insist knowing I have to get out before his car reaches a certain point or I stand more than a chance of dooring a cyclist, to say the very least.

We exchange the money; I look right at him and say “I REFUSE TO SIT HERE IN TRAFFIC!”, get out, slam the door, hop over the separator to the walk path, quickly becoming thankful the rain had stopped and instantly phone Adam and burst forth like a tempest my story of VICTORY and empowerment over a cab driver and hoofed it the rest of the way JUST making it on time.

I ended my conversation with Adam by saying the ONLY way things are going to change in this city in regards to cabs is if people start jumping out of them. See if any cab driver dicks me around after THAT. I have the balls.

This is the first time I have gone this long without posting and one of my parents hasn’t asked if I’m ok. Maybe that is because I’m 30 now? I’ll have to ask them. BASICALLY, I’m still sick. BUT not sick sick, just annoying and stupid mostly dry COUGH sick. It means I can’t work though and I keep having to turn down calls including today I was supposed to work but didn’t because if my cough gets any worse it’ll be hospital bad. I have gotten coughs since I was a kid so I know how to handle them and if I worked in an office I’d go because I feel pretty much fine other than, *normal* to suddenly migraine headaches, sore ribs and a sore back my stomach muscles only start to hurt if I have a full on cough attack and tears are running down my face and I can hardly breath and Adam is all ARE YOU OK? But I can’t answer him I can only flip my head all over the place rolling around like a fish waving my hands like they are flippers. When I worked in offices I’d go in cough a bit and get sent home but at least I went. I knew getting that cold so early in the season was BAD NEWS!

Some of you will remember Mrs. E. my horrid German landlord. I fixed some of the July 2005 archives and there are some stories of her antics under the assholes category and OF COURSE you long term readers will remember this, CLICK HERE NOW. And really that is all you need. And this. Anyway, she was being herself again the other day and cornered Adam about my cough because she says that I cough too much, she doesn’t like it, Adam just walked away from her. I’ve yet to run into her. I can’t wait until I do!

Last night a migraine sent me to bed and I said MY HEAD HAS HAD ENOUGH OF THIS COUGH IT IS REBELLING. I did not yell it though I said it very quietly. Yelling would be silly. SO I was not able to read before bed last night and I am coming down the home stretch of A Thousand Splendid Suns, Khaled Hosseini which is taking a lot longer than normal for me to read because how I feel is dictating when I can read. My friend I lent The Kite Runner to is done it which rules because it means I get my book back. AWESOME.

I didn’t post because I didn’t want to complain and really I am not doing much except not doing things I am asked to which is unlike me and I’m sorry. I have also been coughing all over the key board which is probably what got Adam sick but he is almost better, me not so much BUT I can’t go any longer without posting, blogging is somewhat of a screwy addiction at times.

A while back a fellow blogger did a post that mentioned the episode of Oprah where she discussed open marriages NOT the Mormon religion or polygamy and how it is depicted on HBO’s Big Love [that I am aware of because I didn’t watch it] but ‘open marriage’ was a topic.

I myself am not down with open marriages I think most fail over time and if you or your spouse want to be fucking each other and other people I’d venture a guess there is something deeper happening there and that something pretty big is missing from the relationship but I’m not a shrink just observant and I don’t know I guess I just think ahead.

But my problem is not with ‘open marriages’ to each their own I don’t really care. My problem is I read the comments on this post and someone who can choose to identify themselves in the comments or ask to be linked back to or what have you basically set my blood on fire by writing:

“The true commitment in life is having children with another person.
The marriage is/can be an important precursor, but it is definately not bound by forever the way having children is”.

[I’ve intentionally left the spelling error and want to say here NOTHING has EVER pissed me off this bad in my almost three years of blogging that I now feel the need to do a whole post on it]

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Why don’t you just say I’m not a fucking woman while you are at it because I have NEVER wanted kids and my husband doesn’t want children either? In fact I can’t stand most children and if you pay ANY attention to the census taken in this country you’ll know that THANKS to people like me our population is starting to settle out. I would MUCH rather have a form of population control in the country I live in based on EDUCATED decisions by people to or not to have babies, not assholes who can’t even afford them or some stupid slut who gets knocked up because she thinks it’ll be fun to have a baby but is seriously unfit to even have a child. I’m thankful I live in a country where there is a CHOICE, not in a third world or over populated country where war, AIDS and genocide which can result from war, or having to murder baby girls that are maybe not openly admitted to but ARE forms of population control. That comment is also more than disrespectful to women who can not have children, one of those being a very close friend of mine.

Our marriage is a ‘precursor’ to our life together a life that will include a shit load of SUPER cool adventures that people with kids just can’t go on or do without pissing their kids off they have to wait until their kids have moved out of the house and then *a lot* of marriages fall apart finding out you have nothing in common anymore anyway so you get divorced. Funny how that works.

I am SO sick of the comments the looks the EVERYTHING when people find out you’re married and not having kids. Whatever we get to sleep. I pity people who make ignorant comments like that to my face.