[b]I came home early. [/b] It was Adam’s birthday on Sunday and I ‘ass’umed my mom had me in for my fittings on Thursday and Monday not thinking that NOTHING is open in Prince George on Holidays and therefore my fittings where Thursday and Saturday and I came home Sunday. Adam and I have had so many errands to run it is a good thing I did. I gotta work this week too. I came home smelling like five dogs, four from the barn dance Sparkle, Jackal, Rusty and Rosie my parents dog JJ and the cat, Bear and Gus would not talk to me for hours. I finally had to take a shower which she just returned with more protesting until I was ready to fall asleep and she decided my chin, nose and cheeks needed to be licked for no reason other than she must love my flailing head to avoid that sand paper tongue thing, kisses on the lips are FINE but more than two and I’m out. I have sensitive skin. The paw massssage to the neck and face would have been more appreciated were it not on her schedule of deciding when I was worthy of her love again when I didn’t even do anything wrong, I meowed to her on the phone and she had a good sitter.

[b]DRAMA ALERT[/b]

I get to Prince George, on Thursday morning I go to try on my dress and IT WAS DIRTY. Like for real. The whole top boob area. Looked like blood or lipstick. I stayed calm it was insane I don’t know how I did it. AND the accessories that can come on the dress but weren’t even on the dress when I found it to try on were on the fucking thing and had to be cut off leaving holes in it when I KNOW I requested ‘they’ not be there because had they been there I would have passed the dress by and likely not tried it on because I wouldn’t have and didn’t know at the time they could be removed. They tried to tell me NO ONE had tried it on and I’m LIKE YEAH RIGHT AND IT HAS HOLES IN IT!?! But I didn’t say this as mentioned because to be honest I think I was in shock I must have been.

My mom and I left and went to play golf and have a day I got to see my friend ‘Bobby’ from high school and we watched Big Brother and I played bocce with him and his roommate because his wife is up in Vanderhoof until they can both be in Prince George. I came in second, I was losing badly, then I was kicking ass and then I became the first loser.

I played golf again on Friday and Saturday. I played ok, but sometimes really bad.

Saturday was my second fitting and I was pretty fucking nervous. I had left a message demanding the stains be out of the dress by 4:30PM on the Saturday or shit was going to hit the fan so I had a bridezilla moment and it didn’t feel good at all. I just wanted the stains OUT there was NO WAY I could leave Prince George with THOSE stains still in that dress and not see it again until the wedding are you KIDDING ME?????? The holes will ‘apparently’ steam out easily but the ‘accessories’ still should not have even been there in the first place. I don’t know how the fuck they did it but the stains and all the alterations including the adding of BOOBS to the dress were done by Saturday. Apparently it was dress makers chalk or some shit but I find it pretty interesting she just didn’t fucking tell me that instead of getting all OH MY GOD I’m going to have to call the designer and complain etc etc. HELLO bitch just tell me it comes out in five seconds why don’t you! GEEEEESH. Talk about unnecessary stress to add to a bride’s plate. My dad saw the dress and said I look fine in it.
Then we went to the barn dance. I didn’t bug Haiko about my paddle because I like Haiko but I will get him back somehow likely at Christmas when he least expects it.

[b]These are some FINE videos[/b]

JJ and Bear - don’t judge a video by its cover.

ME taking my shot at the par 3 10th.

my Dad golfing: the Directors Cut

my Mom grippin it and rippin it.

I am leaving on a jet plane today to go up North. While there I will be as mentioned having my dress fitted but also altered and then fitted again to make sure it fits for real.
I’m worried my shoes are totally lame and stupid and my ‘vision’ will be destroyed and I will have to buy new shoes. I’m nervous I haven’t seen ‘it’ since January.

As some of you already know and for those who don’t my parents are in the bushes the sticks the boonies. They are on dial up. Ewwww. But bushes means fun. I’m going to a barn dance at Haiko’s place on Saturday which should be just fantastic, I’m sure. My dad went on a canoe trip with Haiko and I guess Haiko thinks my dad tried to drown him or some shit like not for real just like he’d never been on a trip like THAT. On this trip Haiko lost MY PADDLE from when I was a KID from when we’d portage through the mountains and shit. I’m upset. I realize it was an accident but I plan to say look DUDE that MEANT something to me those are good memories all that middle O no where camping I did as a weeeee one. I expected to have that paddle for life. I was worried my Dad would be all NO you can’t pick on Haiko and I was all no worries like I’m not MAD MAD I’m disappointed and upset I KNOW he didn’t lose it on purpose I just think he should buy us an insanely awesome wedding gift or something but my dad said Haiko picks on HIM about supposedly trying to drown him so I can let him have it. Sweet. Just wait till I get drunk and make a total tool of myself.

Last time I went up it was January and I was on the OLD server with my host company and there was no getting on my site NOW I’m on the new fantastic server and apparently things are a little faster up there so it will be 50/50 as to whether I can post but normally fun Northern shit happens and Adam does guest posts when he doesn’t go with me, you can review former ones here and here .

I can’t remember what the name of my dad’s horse is, I THINK it is Bucky it changed a few times when he first got him but I don’t think that was so funny anymore after he broke all the ribs in January…hence my going up to plow the driveway and such. Even though it WAS NOT ‘Bucky’ who bucked him off and caused the broken ribs. I just emailed my dad the horses name is still Bucky.

THIS is ME at some young age, this horse died I can’t remember how to spell his name; I loved him a lot though. Riding a horse is not like riding a bike AT ALL, I feel TOTALLY odd on my dad’s horse and do generally opt for the ATV instead. I like to play with Bucky though I’m not afraid of hanging out with him just riding was something I did as a kid and haven’t really felt any desire for as an adult. I guess you could say I never really took to it but still love horses.
I also cheat on Gus with Bear. Bear sleeps with me and bites my chin. I will make buzznet videos my parents camera takes good video! And I hang out with this cool dog JJ.
I’ll be back on Monday. I will still be lurking around your blogs though; I may even get caught up on them!

Adam was in charge of the camera yesterday. He must be tired of these damn spirit bears being all up on me and stuff.

I don’t think I even posted the hijinks between this bear and I.

We got all the shit we need to finish the favors for our wedding and I started to make them today. They were supposed to be easy but aren’t so much. But we don’t care because making them is FUN!

It is getting pretty close now I head up north on Wednesday for my dress fitting. I’ll get to go golfing. Sweet. I miss Adam’s birthday though, that sucks.

It is pretty INSANE how fast the city is changing as it gears up for the Olympics.

Adam works here. He helps build it. Makes it super awesome.

Here are some cute photos of Gus ’cause who doesn’t like cute photos of Gus?.

These underwear give me a toe but fuck it man it is HOT and there will be a skirt put OVER them.

Adam bought me this fan for the bus on the way to therapy so I look super fucking extra awesome cool.

Today is DAY ONE
No TITS.

And if you think I got a sex change do click the tits link(s).

So far so shitty.

Today I dropped two liters of milk on the floor, the container is all fucked up but I only lost a little milk maybe about as much as six kittens suck from mommy nipples every day.
Some one has babies on the brain. I heard you aren’t allowed to take condoms to Mexico so if I get pregnant there I blame the Mexicans.

THEN I flipppppppped out at my HOST company because I THOUGHT there was a conspiracy a foot because my site went DOWN right when I got a call from them that I couldn’t return because they are in Smithers and I have no minutes left on my phone they all go to wedding shit. So I called and I’m all WHAT YOU TAKE MY SITE DOWN TO MAKE ME CALL BACK? [Ok calm down corinna you ARE going to be alright will people in your tornado that is the question, will I have any friends left when this is over?]

Because I’m now on CALL for work I check my messages instantly after receiving them, but still have issues answering my phone although I have to say I am getting WAY better.

I think I was talking out my ass about giving up swearing lets leave it at NOT around the baby first cause like HOLY FUCK I feel like I’m losing it. GIVE ME SOME DRUGS! I NEED YOU SWEARING.

[b]Yesterday I ate a croissant[/b] with cheese in it in the morning or close to noon whatever. Then I ate the rest of my six inch sub from the footlong the day before which sparked my telling Adam about how RJ and I were driving around one day when I was barely sixteen and I almost drove off the road ‘cause I wasn’t very sexually experienced at the time and yelled out a NICE AND LOUD, THAT IS SIX INCHES??????? I was supposed to be driving not thinking about dick in relation to sandwiches. And no, my math skills have never gotten any better but I can tell the difference between big and small and if you can tell that difference you can make it in life without math pretty easy.
After the sub I also ate a BA-con mushroom melt from Wendy’s which I thought was GONE already. The Wendy’s BA-con mushroom melt has got to be one of the best things on earth for serious. This is obviously why I can only have it twice a year. But holy FUCK do I make up for it, months ago when my MOM emailed me to tell me they were BAAAAAACK she works there see, we went and had at least two a day for I don’t know….a while on and off. Then we forgot about them and I assumed they were gone. NOPE I ate one yesterday but I found myself still hungry so I also ate a Jr. BA-con cheeseburger. Yummy yummy I was SO FULL.

1:40am I wake up much like back when THIS SHIT was happening and BAM emptied my entire stomach and I mean emptied I FILLLLLLLLED the toilet THREE FUCKING TIMES.

I gotta love myself though I fucking walk into the bathroom and tie my hair back get all ready turn on the water so I can get right up and splash my face, kneel down. I can’t believe I even get ready to barf.

Last time this happened I gave up KD for about two weeks. That was as long as I could go. Health food is for healthy people.

But this is stupid if this happens from now until the wedding holy crap my dress will fall off well ahead of schedule.

I bought a t-shirt at the Neko Case concert. I have never bought a concert t-shirt before. It is green and Neko drew it. [i will show it to you when i lame out and do a post of myself in all of my green shirts, not in them all at the same time though] I’m treating it much like my team Canada toque and seeing how many days in a row I can wear it for. I put it on Sunday after the concert moments before I humped another spirit bear.

“I wonder how long it will take for this to become my favorite t-shirt” I said to Adam on the walk home. [im still wearing it]

Neko is funny and gorgeous and was wearing converse shoes and jeans that made it look like her legs went on forever and I wanted to yell out SING THE TRAIN FROM KANAS CITY but I didn’t. I just cried and wiped my eyes with the handkerchief that Adam brought for me and I chair danced so hard when she sang ’John Saw That Number’ I thought I might break the fucking thing. She, broke a gi-tar string when she launched into ‘Margaret vs Pauline’ but busted out the four string tenor Gibson SG telling us we were getting a full on Vancouver remix. I love her, I love her, I love her. I know that will not be the last time I listen to her voice LIVE it pierced my mother-fucking soul and Sarah McLaughlin you just lost the number one spot. I never in my life expected any female would ever replace her in the number one female artist category EVEN though let’s be honest although Sarah’s music has helped me through many and I mean MANY a time she still pisses the shit out of me when she does money grab re-mix bullshit albums that put all that I take from her writing into question. A live album a greatest hits maybe but I get so sick of her shit in between albums. It is one thing to sell out it is another to show blatant disrespect for your fans- -like we won’t wait for her or something- - it has always offended me and I guess I really shouldn’t speak for her fans.

Alas she did not sing ‘The Train from Kansas City’ but I had to see Sarah twice of the four times I have seen her to hear her sing my favorite song ‘Elsewhere’ so basically that just means I go back, I buy tickets to see her next time around front row and yell it for real, or jump up on stage and get arrested. Somehow I think she’d just hand me a beer and shake my hand or sick a fox on me. either or.

Nineteen years old driving home from the late shift at Future Shop Music blasting Tool, Aenima in my ‘85 Honda Civic when suddenly I am so dizzy and disorientated that I can’t see straight. I pull over and assess myself. Can I drive the rest of the way home? Would Maynard be mad cause I had to turn the Tool down? What the fuck is wrong with me? I decide I can make it. I concentrate as hard as humanly possible and drive- probably one of the dumber things I’ve done. When I get out of the car it feels as if the earth is sort of falling out from underneath me but not. I grip my car to walk. When I get to the end of the hood I actually have to figure out how I’m going to get to the edge of the house to get around back to my basement suite without injuring myself. I let go of the car and stagger so far left I think I’m a goner but manage to stagger back right and fall into the house so I can grip, feel and fall down to my door.

I’d love to say things got better once I get inside but I’d like to mention because I was living alone that I made it to the bathroom before the vomiting started cause once it started it did not stop. Not even at my drunkest, my most idiotic self inflicted two to three day recoveries from drug binges NOTHING had ever made me THIS sick. Back and forth from the bathroom to the bedroom. Moaning, crying, falling, crawling. I’d really like to know how the FUCK I didn’t cover that suite in vomit.

Morning arrives and I call my mommy and daddy I do not remember what was said in this conversation I also call my landlord who lives up stairs and beg him to take me to the hospital. He obviously assumes I’m drunk because he says NO. I must have kept them up during the night barfing etc. because finally he caves and comes down to get me. I puke all the way out to his car, out the window of his car and he drops me at the doors to emergency.

I sit in emergency scared as fuck barfing into whatever they hand me filling one after another whilst barely able to sit up until someone finally realizes I’m in no condition to be left sitting out in emergency by myself- I needed to be like actually admitted.

You want fun? It starts here. They give me some T’3s first, the headache that is following me around was on the back burner compared to the rest of the shit going on but is bad and I think I had a fever too. Next, I get a shot in the ass. Once they have me stable- and when I say stable I mean not barfing cause umm this is still just the beginning. The vertigo is so far from over at this point had I of known how much fun I was heading for in the coming weeks I’d of shot myself. From here they take me in for a CT Scan where they confirm that I’m suffering from Labyrinthitis. There is NOTHING they can do for me. I get to wait it out. All they can do is control the barfing. I’m told that when MOST PEOPLE get this ‘disorder’ I will not only have for life now but that it can reoccur at ANY time, NORMALLY they will see fluid fill only two maybe three [tops] inner ear canals of the three in each ear. LUCKY ME ALL SIX ARE FULL!!!!!!!! Cases as bad as mine are seen maybe once a month they tell me, if even.

Honestly I just want to die. This is at a time when I have about three friends in Vancouver I’ve lived here not even four months. The hospital has no rooms [big surprise] and I’m left to pass in and out of consciousness in the hallway until what looks like an Angel appears somewhere before me I can’t focus on ANYTHING. It turns out to be Spockette, [my now MOH] she and her cousin spring me from the joint and take me to my bed where I stay for a FULL TWO WEEKS. I can’t read, watch any movies, tv, nothing. ALL I can do is sit/lay and do NOTHING while happy I’m not barfing anymore but bored and depressed as shit cause I’m not able to walk without holding shit or falling over and work just LOVES me missing OVER two weeks.

Apparently this experience made me a stronger person or something.

MY POINT

I have this shit right now. NOT AS BAD. BUT

Ever since I got it [in 1998] every time I get a little dizzy which is a lot because my balance has never been the same, ask anyone who walks more than a block with me, I let that little FUCK IM GETTING Labyrinthitis SNEAK into my head and quickly let it fall out my good ear. Last Friday I went to get out of bed and instead of it taking the normal two to three seconds to gain my balance I practically fell out the bedroom door throwing my hands out to grab whatever was closest. I had a good laugh at myself but quickly realized something was WRONG. I crashed onto the computer chair and smashed my elbow into the wall. Labyrinthitis came into my mind but I honestly thought it was allergy related and was happy that coincidently I had a doctors appointment where I could be like UMMMMM BITCH my right nostril feels like it is going to fall out from this nasal spray shit and OH YAH now I have to take Gravol just to walk straight.

Wasn’t allergies is this fucking Labyrinthitis SHIT again and I’m being a huge cunt right now and I do not advise getting close to me. I’m supposed to be going back to work and need shirts and every time I find one that covers my arm tattoo the one on my back shows fucking having to conform fuck YOU.
I gave up trying to shop for shirts when my Mom called and I acted like a five year old and flipped out over something to do with my wedding dress, made a bridezilla scene and decided I was WAY to sick to be shopping whether I need work shirts or not. I cried like a spoiled brat the whole walk home cursing this that and everything. Fuck it I’m going into construction for real.

I do not have this Labyrinthitis even close to as bad as last time. It is coming on in ‘attack’ form this time. It is not constant or consistent and Gravol is keeping it at bay.

Pretty much the last thing I need right now considering for something that CAN re-occur at any time it decides to show up when my BIRTHDAY is next week [please see wish list], almost 10 years later and right in the middle of the wedding planning, RIGHT when I need to FLY up north AND right when I decide it is time to head back out to work. Thank you LUCK!!!! I LOVE you now fuck OFF.

I hate everything right now and will kick you if you piss me off. Oilers lose tonight and I may have to kick the TV.

We were so close to getting out of here. A suite came available down the street in one of the two buildings we are waiting on. Anyone unfamiliar with our landlord situation there are stories a plenty regarding Mrs. E. in the ‘Assholes’ category. Because we like the management company we are waiting on two buildings both come with NO Mrs E. and balconies. The only problems I’ve ever had building wise since I moved in here in March 2000 are with the cunt next door.

We went to look at the suite and it was too small. Damnit, we have to wait for one on the front of the building now. It was really nice though so we are excited about the front but disappointed we have to live next door to little miss keys for fingers cunty mc cunt cunt moo moo wearing went certifiably insane before I was even born landlord.

I was talking about her in therapy last Friday as I do when anything she does of any merit presents itself and the possibility of getting the fuck away from her is definitely therapy worthy. We discuss how she triggers that teenager in high school being bullied section of my brain and I just go to goo when I see her. I can’t fucking stand her I can’t wait to be rid of her. It is hard but we are understanding of why her boss lets her get away with the shit she does in this building but really this bitch is so old if he were to rat her out she’d be out on the street and homeless and no matter how much I say I hate her I’m not evil like for real evil. It will be so good for me just to move out of here. Even though I love that I have lived in this building longer than I have lived anywhere in my life. Some really shitty shit has happened in here. When I lived down the hall solo for five plus years I was assaulted by a friend of a friend in my suite people in the building were also friends with the friend of the assaulter and me and one of our mutual friends committed suicide and I thought they were my friends but I guess they only tolerated me for PH and pretty much kicked me to the curb after he died and joined the I was never assaulted bandwagon EVEN THOUGH the guy who assaulted me point blank admitted to doing it. Fuck it was insane. I STILL catch myself when their window is open walking by and having NO CONTROL of saying disgusting and despicable things like ‘I PERSONALLY think PH would be fucking ASHAMED of how they treat me’ LOUD enough for them to hear me, whether they ever have I don’t fucking care, but whatever fucked up things happen when woman are assaulted in groups of friends and fucked up things happen when people die. I was left feeling judged for how I grieved and felt like they only tolerated me cause PH thought I was the shit. Basically getting out of this building will be even better for me than I realized until it was a topic in therapy.