HOLY we are sooooo busy but some things need to be said so I must get on saying some of them!!

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First off to my Bowl for Big Brothers sponsors I will be bowling on Thursday. There will be photographic evidence although I do not want any because I am so thin right now I don’t even like going outside it feels like everyone is staring at me and not in a good way.

Truth is some of my ridiculous actions got me rightfully tossed off the team. But I will still bowl oh yes I will bowl!

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You may be asking yourself why I didn’t just take the post down, but I think now after having had a lot of time to think about it I’m leaving it up as an example of what not to do during a very bad break down brought on by the harbouring and keeping of secrets I should never have been told and allowing fear and jealously compounded by other things in my life I’m super happy about - both are those types of things in life that have seriously good pros with just as equally bad cons - to take over my life.

If there is one thing I HAVE TO STOP doing it is harbouring I have to learn how to tell people how I feel for real. Even if it sucks, because even though I won’t say anything behind your back that I won’t say to your face the fact is if I am saying it behind your back when I should be saying it to your face, saying it behind your back is also passive aggressive and not too bright because the blogging world is small so I know it is going to get back to whoever anyway and it is probably by then not going to be what I said but a changed let’s play telephone and whisper in each others ears grade seven drama version.

I caused a great disturbance within the force and I am sorry for that. It was wrong to air it out in a post on my blog. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I am not going to dissect which parts I meant and which parts I didn’t mean because I didn’t mean most of it; most of it came from sheer rage. In case you were wondering I have a bad temper. I had stopped saying bad temper and had down graded it to ‘temper’ I honestly did not know that I was still capable of rage like that, rage that was so strong that Adam tried to stop me from doing certain things and was unable to, he could have always restrained me but he didn’t for whatever reason. Rage so strong, scary rage, that doesn’t allow me as much control over my actions as I know that some, if not many, would like to believe I have. All this really means is that taking responsibility for certain things comes with a lot more guilt and embarrassment than it normally would.

Being that I am not ready to forgive myself for all that has happened, I am not ready to ask anyone for forgiveness and regardless the scars run deep on all sides and forgiveness may not even be an option for some actions for some words used.

I do know that one of the most important things I have learned thus far in my almost 31 years is how to laugh at myself and holy crap it rules, and I’ve been working on how to forgive people and forgive myself for things which is something I never ever saw as possible within myself because although I am a very some would say almost too forgiving person I am a person who forgives with BUTS and that is not fair and I’m committed to working on that.

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Being honest with myself although I have made a lot of positive progress over the last year with my shrink, we’ve recently discussed it, obviously - you can’t end up in the hospital and not have it come up in session - I’ve had a relapse. I’m not better yet, I haven’t fully lifted my x-wing fighter out of the pond yet but I’m working on it and feeling better and better every day. I am not freaking out any more. I am stable. I’m still having a bit of anxiety which has caused a ridiculous amount of weight loss that I know I am going to be way over sensitive about for a while because normally when I lose this much weight I’m in shape so I at least have muscles, I don’t have muscles right now it is just a disgusting caved in stomach with hip bones pointing straight out and from behind I look like a dinosaur. I don’t think that I have ever actually been this thin in my adult life. I do not like it at all. My arms look disgusting, my breath is terrible and my size four wedding band that I have already had resized smaller once is too big. But the good news is that the war against my anxiety is back on, and it is back on in a big way.

HOLY CRAP thank you all SO MUCH!

When I really was trying to commit suicide when I was sixteen, I went back to school the day after I was released from the hospital only to be delivered right back into the bullies’ hands. I still don’t know how I dealt with people saying to my face I should have died. Had it not been for Rhonda and Cindy I don’t know if I would have made it.

The almost overwhelming support [only because let’s be honest I’m not super used to it] has me feeling more loved and supported than I think I have ever felt in my life. I am of course feeling insane amounts of guilt, shame and embarrassment as well but it comes with the territory.

I’m going to put up a fluff piece on my hair probably today; you know to lighten it up a tad for a day or two around here before I dive into some stories that won’t be easy to write but I think need to be told. I’ve been planning to write them since I started this blog they’ve always been on the back burner because some are pretty heavy.

I just can’t thank you all enough. I think it is going to take me a full day if not more to respond to all the correspondence sitting in my in box, not to mention I didn’t sign into my igoogle page containing my feed until early last evening and the fact that a lot of you wrote posts for me or mentioning me, shit I don’t even know what to say, but trust me, I’m not complaining, I am so so so very thankful.

I’m only turning the comments off on this post because it is a THANK YOU to YOU.

I’m done; I’m going back to BITCH central I don’t care if my links drop to zero. Technorati is shit and only MORONS take it seriously anyway.

I’m sick of pretending I like people, to what fit in with a bunch of ass fucks who only care about themselves and whose fifteen minutes of online fame ain’t gonna last much longer and to be honest guess what I CAN’T STAND YOU. I go out of my way to help my fellow bloggers but except for ONE couple everyone else I’ve asked for help with my blog [cept for headers] has in some way shape or form asked for money. Is that what friends do?

I’m sick of the fact that for the last almost YEAR I’ve been sitting on secrets that COULD destroy ‘some people’s’ relationships and lives to put it bluntly yet I’M the one viewed as the gossip and the one with issues.

I’m sick of the fact that because Adam and I DID THE RIGHT THING and took a women who myself, Adam, my shrink and people around us advised us was having a manic break into child services last year that people are apparently ‘scared’ of what I’m capable of. Well, what I’ve ALWAYS been capable of is doing the right thing.

I’m sick of people who SAY they are my friends but are you? Do friends tell friends EVERYTHING they need to do to get ready for a certain conference and tell another NOTHING.

It appears so.

The people I’ve met since I started to venture out for Guitar Hero and Rock Band parties rule, I only wish I’d had have met these people first so I would have known how much time I was wasting trying to be friends with people who are only out for themselves and are NOT supportive. Aside from the people who will KNOW I’m not talking about them because I’ve talked to them about feeling this way.

I’m not like some people, and I won’t move my blog. I won’t start over and pretend to hide so I can pretend I have stalkers. I have paid the consequences, sue me for missing Z and wanting to see photos of her.

I’ve wasted SO MUCH TIME trying to fit in I lost what this blog was started for, I’ve lost contact with TOO many outside of Vancouver Bloggers that have been here since day one and I’m done, they mean more to me. I just can not sit here and pretend that everything is A OK out there when it isn’t.

I’ve also watched my distinct writing style ripped off while ’someone’s’ blog has soared, I don’t think I’ve ever even gotten a thank you for ANYTHING out of this person, yet they sure know how to take.

I just don’t fucking care anymore. Ok well that is a lie, I do care, I’m just done letting it affect me, the AWESOME people we have met know who they are, the rest of you have failed me and I’m done with you. I’m actually appalled at myself for putting up with your shit, lies, and shallowness for so long.

Sometimes things happen and they can’t be let go or gotten over, I’d have been more than willing to let EVERYTHING go if I hadn’t been excommunicated from everything ‘girls anything’ since ‘we did what we did’. Anyone who knows us KNOWS what we went through, knows we did the right thing, it is just so sad that some of you may as well still be in fucking high school when it comes to saying you accept someone and actually accepting them.

Oh yes ’she’ will have her stalkers all over this in about two seconds and even though this is giving her exactly what she wants. She didn’t do as much damage to my life as she’d like to think she did she basically just opened up my eyes to all the bullshitters’.

Bye, bye posed photos and fake party scene. Hello, REAL FRIENDS!

I’m pretty sure I was one of the first fifty or so people to register for Northern Voice 2008; B.C.’s large and widely attended personal blogging and social media conference. Already blogger buddies but now buddy buddies Jennie came in from Pittsburgh and Dan came in from Toronto.

I was excited about many things beyond the buttons and stickers, the kick-ass brown ‘Bloggable‘ t-shirt that I have the most PERFECT place to wear, my Moo cards, [that still haven’t arrived], using the laptop an awesome couple lent me [M & JWC], the opening party, plus meeting loads of bloggers and people I’d only heard of and or had been reading for years. I was also looking forward to many of the sessions that were being offered over the two days.

There were posts about Northern Voice popping up all over - I’m pretty sure all of the posts on my feed were from people going, except one by Barbara Doduk that I didn’t realize until later had seeped its way into my subconscious mind.

Last Thursday rolled around and I was fine, I had my outfit and hair planned for the opening party. I was having a good day and I had gathered all of the things I was going to take in my bag for Friday on the chair in the living room when, unexpectedly, I was triggered by something so small it is not even worth mentioning because it is just part of my depression garbage and I lost it.

At first I thought I was ok, that I was just having a minor anxiety attack and that I would calm right down. I didn’t even take a Clonazepam because I knew I’d be drinking that night. With depression in general there are so many things that trigger behavior directly related to my mood disorders that it ends up being no different than learning which battles to pick in life, if I react the same way to every single panic attack then every single panic attack would be debilitating. I try to give the panic attack the benefit of the doubt, think positive, TRY TO BREATHE. But it doesn’t always work, and I ended up crying and shaking and then couldn’t stop crying and shaking and that was it I was done.

Adam probably remembers better than me because I have a tendency to block out the memories of just how often this happens but I know that this happened when we had tickets to see The White Stripes and BAM I had a major attack and we didn’t go. I remember that one because I know Adam was very disappointed, I’ve progressed enough in dealing with them even if I can’t get myself out that I can handle Adam going.

The weekend preceding NV it had come up that I am normally inconsolably depressed between December and the beginning of March and that so far this year, at that time, I had only been depressed for a maximum of three full weeks I guesstimated, I think I am looking at four weeks maybe more now but Adam and I still high fived because I have been working really hard.

Just writing this damn post is giving me anxiety.

In the last fourteen months, I have gone from being a person so plagued by social anxiety, someone who had so little confidence that I’ve never even been able to stand up straight and worst of all someone who believed I was incapable of making new friends and being accepted for ME that you could say I was mildly agoraphobic. I would even tell people I was to avoid having to explain and give details every time I didn’t want to get off my ass and leave my apartment, it was easier to just put out a big word that encompassed how I saw myself but at the core was not the real problem.

Right now, I’m ALMOST a wee little social butterfly.

Also in that fourteen months, I’ve grown, I’ve changed, I’ve taken steps backwards and forwards, I’ve failed, I’ve disappointed myself, I’ve let myself down, I’ve let others down. I’ve actually lived outside of the box. After some serious thought I decided I was happy with where I am in the blog world right now. That even though I know that Northern Voice is not about a bunch of blogging rules that it is still structured and my blog has never really had any structure and it has done fine. I’m sure my friends would love it if they didn’t have to help me with my blog issues any more but I don’t know where this year is going to lead, maybe I will still end up learning all that I missed.

It has taken a lot of conversations with my shrink and more passive aggressive behavior than I ever thought I was capable of, more foot in my mouth moments than I’d like to admit to, just to get me to the place where I am learning to say NO and learning what I want and deciding that even though I fully intend on doing my best to enter more of the blog community at monthly meet ups this year, that I want to do it at my pace. It was all happening too fast and it felt overwhelming and I thought this isn’t why people started reading me. Yes, I love that I have been accepted into some of Vancouver’s blogging circles but there is still a part of me who wants to stay behind my screen and isn’t ready to do all the acting and mental preparation it takes me to go out and become who I want to be through projecting only the positive, I’m just scared of being myself sometimes because I am going through so many personal changes. Entering my thirties has also thrown in some nice new challenges and I have to accept that not everyone is going to like the new me behind the screen or in their face shaking their hand.

I don’t know if this will even make sense to anyone, if even I understand to the fullest extent why I flipped out and didn’t go. I just know that it’s my blog and I’ll post what I want and I’ll go to whatever meet ups I want and that I’ll still be thankful for fucked up situations like not going to a conference I paid for because I still learned so much about myself and why I blog and how important to me it is to not lose sight of those reasons and lately - I don’t know, I just feel like I’ve been letting my long time readers down, losing myself a little, I know I can’t please everyone but I guess I want to move forward without forgetting anyone who helped me get my voice heard.

On a side note I would just like to thank everyone for their support over the last few days I was pretty floored by how many people took the time to tell me I was missed and it really meant a lot.

Some of you may have noticed the new addition to my side bar a smaller version of the 2008 Bowl for Big Brothers Classic badge below.

I participated in the Bowl for Big Brothers Classic back in 2000 and had a great time and being that although I could walk my other favourite charity events around the city they are supposed to be runs and I can not run right now, but I can bowl, and I love to bowl.

TEAM BLOGGER consists of:

Rebecca Bollwitt: Team Capitan aka Miss 604
Corinna [that is me] of Gus Greeper
John Bollwitt of JohnBollwitt Update your links! John has a new domain!
John Biehler of JohnBiehler
Keira-Anne of Keira-Anne She fooked her knee up real bad over the weekend so go send her some love!
Duane Storey of DuaneStorey
Phaedra McEachren of Memoirs of Me
Raul of Hummingbird604
Tod Maffin of todmaffin

I’ve sent an email or two to the Big Sisters and have never heard back from them, being recently inspired from running into some people from Terrace that I went to high school with, [seriously we are EVERYWHERE right now] and discovering that one of them is a Big Brother and has been for four years now he had this to say about his experience and his reasons for volunteering his time:

I thought it was time to give back to the community and growing up with a single Mom I figured Big Brothers was something i would like to do.

Turns out he called. I’m going to call. I think it will be interesting with my past to see whether they would even take me, could be why I never got any emails back. We will soon see. I will keep you posted.

This organization has also always been of interest to me because my father spent time as a Big Brother way back in the day and it comes up on a semi regular basis. My dad has also said I should call. My aversion to the phone is becoming almost phobic. I did make a point to talk on it yesterday though.

My father had this to say about his experience:

I was a big brother many years ago. It was in the early 70’s. I still remember my first little brother’ s name. Bobby Pallen. When I first started as a big brother, I assumed it would take a lot of time and cost a lot taking him places. What really happens is we mostly just hung out and did things. Play catch, go to the park, watch a movie. Just the same kinds of things that you would do with your own kids. Little brothers just want someone to give them some attention and spend some time with them. It is such a rewarding experience that more than 30 years later I still think about Bobby. I moved away and that was the reason I had to give up seeing Bobby.

We are bowling on March 16 at Xcalibur Bowling in Surrey. We all need your pledges please the easiest way to get to our individual pledge pages is through Miss604’s post. Or you can sponsor our team as a whole by clicking here. You can also reach my pledge page by clicking on the badge - top right in my side bar.

I set my goal at fifty dollars because I have to raise that to be able to bowl, but I would of course LOVE to raise more than that so I do ask for your help please dear blogging buddies and readers, anything you can offer is going to be greatly appreciated.

Little does Mrs. Bollwitt know that she was ultimately, if I take you back to the beginning, the inspiration for the first new scan since February 2006 and it seems as though not much has changed - I had the vision and got it first go. If I don’t get it first go I normally don’t get it. I’ll have fun wasting a bunch of time trying to get better ones but it normally comes back to my first go at it.

WAY back in the day because someone asked me to, I did a post on EXACTLY how I scan myself it is here and I think you should check it out as I am still using the same scanner but you get to see my arms with no tattoos on them and my old crappy computer. I personally like my arms better WITH tattoos but that is just me. And just in case anyone is wondering I have yet to ever use any photoshopping on any of my scans I do all the color changing etc. with the scanner options before I push the FINAL scan button.

Rebecca told me that if you searched “Corinna” in Google that I was on the first page or something like that and I didn’t think it was a big deal because it isn’t a very common spelling, most go with the double rr long story short I Google myself with just my first name and there it is and the number of pages of us was admittedly larger than I thought it would be. Of course I have Googled various variations of my name but oddly never just my first.

I forget about it.

I was getting ready to go out last Saturday with one of my keeping it old school BFF(s) Spockette and I remembered what Rebecca had told me so I told Adam to search me and I sort of knew what was coming but I just waited……. and my premonition came true and he asked, “did you look at the images?”

“Some of them.” [insert innocent chuckle]

By the time I got to the computer he was pages into the images.

“Not one of you.”

“Oh, I know it’s hilarious, it is all pron.”

There are lots of hot naked chicks out there named “Corinna” with really big nice boobs that I wish I had and they were all in braids. And I used to rock pigtails and pigtail braids a lot back in my early 20’s so I thought whatever JUST because I am ALMOST 31 does not mean I can’t rock braids anymore so I wore braids all day. SWEET. THANK YOU PRON for busting me out of my, ‘oh so boring hair’ wearing ways. Lately I have been doing much cooler things with my hair but I’m still not like I used to be but I also don’t have a live in girly girl anymore either.

I have never been a fan of Memes or tagging people to do them or being tagged but I have a hard time resisting the book and music ones.

Jerk with a camera [JWC] never tagged me but it is the irresistible music-ness of it that locked me in. For the Meme I am to list my top five favourite musical artists and then list my top five favourite songs from each one. Mentioned just recently in this post keeping the same top five list of anything for more than a few hours, days, weeks if I’m lucky is hard for me. If I was ever faced with a REAL LIFE TOP FIVE DECISION BIG BROTHER SAYS YOU MUST CHOOSE. I’d be fooked.

The first four in NO particular order are SET IN STONE. The songs not so much but I’ll do my best to pick my favs or most listened to. The fifth artist I am finding near impossible to decide on.

NEKO CASE

Runnin’ Out of Fools [Blacklisted, 2002]
Margaret vs. Pauline [Fox Confessor Brings the Flood, 2006]
Favorite [The Tigers Have Spoken, 2004]
We’ve Never Met [Furnace Room Lullaby, 2000]
Set Out Running [Furnace Room Lullaby, 2000]

Tool

The Pot [10,000 Days, 2006]
Eulogy [Aenima, 1996]
Parabola [Lateralus 2001]
Aenima [Aenima, 1996]
Intolerance [Undertow, 1993]

Tori Amos

Putting The Damage On [Boys for Pele, 1996]
Glory of the 80’s [To Venus and Back, 1999]
Taxi Ride [Scarlet’s Walk, 2002]
Cruel [From The Choirgirl Hotel, 1998]
Crucify [Little Earthquakes, 1991]

John Denver

Matthew
Rockey Mountain High
Annie’s Song
Take Me Home Country Roads
Some Days Are Diamonds (some days are stones)

This last one is SO HARD FOR ME I think I am going to keep with the trend of Artists I have seen live and pick:

The Dixie Chicks

Not Ready to Make Nice [Taking The Long Way, 2006]
Everybody Knows [Taking The Long Way, 2006]
Cowboy Take Me Away [Fly, 1999]
Travelin’ Soldier [Home, 2002]
Hello Mr. Heartache [Fly, 1999]

1 through 25 from the First Quarter of 100 things about me can be found by clicking on this long line of green text.

You will likely want to review it because I started it a long time ago, like before I moved to Wordpress even.

So here goes:

26. The first concert I went to after moving to Vancouver was Jewel.
27. I try to dance every day and not just with Ellen.
28. My first concert t-shirt was that of the one and only Neko Case, as Aughra so nicely put it, “you and that shirt! Man.”
29. I do not use fabric softener. I do when I go home to my parents place though because then when I get back home it reminds me of home, my father has used the same kind for as long as I can remember.
30. I have a change sorter and save ALL of my change. [our rolled change payed for all of our tips on our honeymoon, saving change RULES]
31. I initially over react to almost everything but am actually very level headed.
32. I have ALWAYS spelled words how they sound and thus do not spell good.
33. As exhibit A. B. C. and D. clearly show, I am a hand talker extraordinaire for life.
34. I’m often referred to as a ‘childless soccer mom’ by my friends because I rarely leave home without an assorted combination of pain relief drugs, Purell [mini], Tide to Go, Band aids, hand cream [mini], lip balm and gloss, O.B. tampons [regular and super], a pen, hair ties and let us not forget the Visine. This is my purse it all fits nicely inside a small makeup bag.
35. I have very bad balance stemming from two serious issues with my inner ears, one self inflicted one not.
36. I have sensitive everything.
37. If you think you are more clumsy than me then I challenge you to a clumsy contest.
38. I have an irrational fear of the wind.
39. As a pre-teen and teen, I got pounded, beat up, bullied [whatever you prefer to call it] to the point of bruised skin on and off my face, split lips and an eventual first attempt at suicide that landed me in the hospital for a week. [some of that one is known but my depression and therapy category is a mess]
40. I have not worn a watch in years.
41. I do not own a scale because I refuse to become any more obsessed with weight beyond what I consider normal.
42. I have an extremely vivid imagination and am prone to exaggerate.
43. I don’t even want to admit how often I get in the shower with one of the following still on my person: my glasses, a tampon and my personal favourite, my underwear.
44. I stand up for myself and those I love at all costs.
45. I love the word plethora.
46. There is my life before Guitar Hero and then there is my life after Guitar Hero.
47. I cry at and over everything, seeing a friend WIN on TV, say on CBC’s Test the Nation last Sunday, commercials, TV shows, movies, vacation, SPORTS, CONCERTS, music in general, telling stories and etc.
48. I think about taking GG down at least once a day.
49. I am not easy to be friends with.
50. I yearn to learn how to be an affectionate person without using words.

Yesterday Adam and I attended our first photo walk hosted by Duane, we recently purchased ourselves a new camera for Christmas. Adam has spent some time reading the manual and playing around with it. I had been using the bare bones settings like ’sport mode’ and just hoping for good photos. Yesterday I tried some new settings and new girlfriend Miranda who is a great professional photographer started to show me the ropes. Thanks to Reilly and John for giving me some tips as well.

This was a late afternoon early evening meet up at the beach around English Bay.

The entire set can be viewed here [Beach Photo Walk].

Adam now has his own Flickr page it is called [abcIV] you can invite him as a friend there, now that we have a camera that takes awesome photos we are going to credit each other and stuff unless it is obvious. He also attended the photo walk yesterday you can view his photos here [Pho-To Wok].

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Here are a some other shots that have been taken with the new camera. Should be a lot of fun learning how to use it and furthering myself into nerdville.

I am ALL ABOUT MY NINJA SOCKS RIGHT NOW. I am still trying to find some sweet knee high Unicorn ones that are NOT purple.

Allow me to begin this year in review type post with a little something i like to call ‘i have a shitty memory’ as a foreword, or something. 2007 was so freaking thick it seemed more like 3 years two months and seven days instead of just a regular year. maybe thats why im feeling so nervous right now, like the contents of the last twelve months are really worth sharing and re-living. when you work like a bastard for something that might not even exist like hope or an idea or just nature you cant measure progress or quantify how successful you are becoming because the process of becoming is the end that wont end. it seems to me old fashioned to take stock of your life at the end of december, but that makes it hard to do otherwise so why not turn off the meter now? its been a betty of a year.

Keira-Anne on flickr Foto

i dont like the tone of that paragraph. i dont know where to start, or what to communicate. i feel like punching a picture of dan brown. i suppose the most important part is that were all still here. the most important statistic of all is whether your site is alive or not. every url contributes to the topography of the world tho we cant touch it we have conceptualized a new home that became a community and a country then a new world. this could be described as a conservation of energy and by re-enacting those significant moments that were shared and affected by the people and computers in this world the energy will return to the people and computers because the feelings didnt fade like our footprint that will always be here crossing and gathering infinitely.
(punching back cover of Davinci Code).

Tony Pierce on flickr Foto

i would like to thank ayebody who this last year has accepted me for my wooden-nickel self because of your respect for ol chokey. you are shining examples of humanity. i might feign resistance to technology, but that doesnt mean im not completely humbled by the world of computing. i love that the blog medium uses its powers for good, that means that every one of youz is making positive changes to real people and minds, and that your propensity will return to sustain you back. i am still shocked and awed that ol CJ Hixon flew a plane all the way from heafrow airport to rainy ol vancouver just to see the Greeper. you know what that means? that means that sometimes Dateline is WRONG STOSSEL people who you meet on the internet wont kill you unless theyre already a psycho the internet has very little to do with it. as you can see, CJ refrained from killing myself, my wife and the cat. that’s adam 3, Stossel 0. put that in yer moustache.

see instead of the murders, what happened was that by this peppy young lad trotting over here we got a huge feelin of the world is great after all. imagine watchin the news and when you are eatin on some chicken (or soy-type poultry thingie) nugget or something and the anchor sez your name out loud and you cant know WHO heard it but you assume that somebody else did and you have yourself witnessed an affirmation of your gooduns and that, is hard to beat. CJ bein his ever endearing-charming-effervescent-bastard self burns up some quid and in return there is a permanent rainbow over any memory associated with 2007 because that will always be the year that we met the Hixon lad. a done deal!
hypothesis: bein good by people is good, and makes Stossel eat his words often.

now if you are a troll who hides in the bushes and only reads feeds, you may not have noticed the subtle pimpins what have taken place here in idyllic Greeperland. the presidents of Audihertz-alajara, Materfacit-tania, and Chindogu-stan offered humanitarian aid to our not yet three years old republic. let me expound; peep my expoundinz:

Corinna has known David since grade whatever. he is quite a bit cooler than ice cube, and totally cooler than ice-T. he is an example of how technology brings people closer who have already bonded. and believe you me mister Drummond, besides all of your technical expertise you gave Corinna someone she could really trust in a place where distance both practised and geographical limits connection. you are a big source of shtrenth. word. if dave was in a rap video, he would be the guy riding shotgun who doesnt say anything he just looks cool while some jackass dances on the roof or the hood or something.

Tony Pierce on flickr Foto

now if our pal Jenn were in a music video, it would be less pedantic than U2 but kind of like when someone walks around singing and stuff and other people see how much fun shes having and how cool the song is and start followin her so that by the end of the video everybody is lost in the moment and rippin it up whatever theyre doing if its dancin or singin along or shakin hands with strangers or public speaking. i think that happens because the real inspirational people arent hocking books at the conference centre theyre living in the world and connecting human like to everybody around like how dry ice is more dense and has to expand out of its container and onto the floor and our shoes. is this not a truly wondrous masthead?? huzzah!

and the lastly but sure not leastly technical shout-out goes to the Burns & Allen of blogdom john + rebecca. this is form and content incarnate. you two make everything look completely effortless, like Gretzky himself. you guys are two little Wayne Gretzkys. youll always be at the allstar game and will always get to pick your number first. but we all know that Wayner didnt get to this status by only honing his hockey skillz, oh no, he transcends the game because the game can be found within his character. there is no difference between the game and Wayne–they are themselves, each other, and together, more. they enhance the other entity and expand the potential of that simple concept, those little rules that make hockey. i think its pride and dignity. but those are byproducts. were all proud of you, and proud to be by you. clear as mud.

so now that i have wasted a perfectly good attempt at spreading an even layer of 200, i will backpedal and spew out all that i have forgotten thus far before they start playing that music to get me off stage; dont worry, i’ll rassle em when they come at me.

there are several people. whats more, these people are folks. such as, uh, therefore, education, um, what is, the iraq…

Aughra + Jenn = Greeperland order of merit (shining beaconz of Bloglight and womandom)
Blogstock = People exist! (Duane, BANG! Keira, BANG! Tony, BANG! you like that shit? thats a free linkz what that is)
also Blogstock = meeting new Jagz and Stoddartz + Danielliz & Chadz an such
Bollwittz = margreetaz + Dave-Oz + Biehlerz + JennieRothz + Danz + such
Netchick = aka Tanya also = a just swell 10 year blogger who encourages the arts (aka GuitarHero)
also = Reilly + Miranda + Al + Vern + Monica + Chris + Nelson

whoa. i am spiraling out of control. i blame my first Liscumb family Crimus. yes, it was everything you could possibly imagine plus more. we didnt just have snow, we had flight delays. we didnt just see a moose, we saw multiple moose. four dude. four moose. and five mule deer. no cougars tho. ive wrestled enough cougars to know that ive never wrestled a cougar. we got that dang ol duvet that corinna was pining for since the nineties. thats the last century or something. her ma read nite before crimus and then Santa came. it was radical. i have two famlies now. how about that! ah yes, and a wife that loves me SO much that she bought a jeff foxworthy redneck calendar for us to stare into for a hole year, to make our plans on, to map our dreams… after i puke my guts out from looking at it. she must love me or something.

well, look at me, following coherent thoughts to their logical conclusion.. weve all come a long way. hi sarah! id have you in my sqwadron any day. basically, like ice man and maverick at the end of Top Gun. Nocturnal, i think you create matter out of a vacuum, or something. you are like philo from UHF. which makes you one of a kind and also awesome. DLAK! give me your epilepsy, please. Tiana, Brent, Your ass will be whupped in the future! (in guitar hero)

so in this year of bangs, of psychologists at the pictures, of travelling bloggers, of hemhorroidless bums, how do we end something that is only beginning? well, in an instant such as this, there is no magic 8ball to shake, no almanac to consult. in this case, i always ask myself, “What would Rhonda do?”. but no one knows what Rhonda would do, thats what makes her the enigma she is. so, to Rhonda : we will miss you out here.

hapy new yearz. an hapy 30th boday an 1 year aniversary Chokey. we luvz yoou.

and to the rest of you special yous, I’ll see you on Facebook.