I broke my toe and did not go to the New Kids concert.  Of all the things that I thought would keep me from the concert I never foresaw a broken toe. I honestly haven’t cried over either.

I don’t even know how I broke my toe, which is the funniest thing about it, had Rhonda not been here to witness what I will explain here then I’d have not believed it myself.  I know, talk about building a mystery.

So, we were going out in the rain to get Rhonda a tattoo down the street at Sacred Heart, because it was raining and getting chilly I put on my thicker purple pair of Wigwam socks, they are also perfect for rubber boots.  I always put my right foot into any type of footwear first.  Just as my foot was about to land completely inside a sharp pain shot out from the toe next to my baby toe, it is already an ugly hammer toe. I am extremely clumsy to the point I find bruises pretty much daily that I have no idea how I got, I drop and trip over things constantly, I also have a seriously extreme pain tolerance, you wouldn’t think it with the way I whine and complain about things but people exhibit much stranger body behaviors than I do, I’m sure of it.  I have dick all for balance so I grabbed the wall because my toe was screaming at me and I needed to get my other boot on.  I decided to walk it off, I started limping around the apartment and saying over and over and over and over MY TOE, MY TOE, MY TOE.  I took off the right boot, tore the sock off and there was NOTHING my toe was fine.  SUCK.IT.UP.

We left and I kept whining MY TOE, MY TOE, we got to the Sacred Heart that is really close to me about six blocks and they were full so we walked another twelve blocks to the next closest Sacred Heart Tattoo shop and they fit her in.  I had decided to go home because it was Thursday and I’d already had a really bad migraine since the Sunday past and the mixture of the radio and the steady buzzing of the tattoo gun was too much for me.  One of the other reasons that I wore my purple Wigwams is because originally we weren’t going far and in my rubber boots my feet walk the purple socks off but they are so comfy that if I’m not going far I don’t mind.  My other pair are thinner and don’t get walked off.

I wasn’t really sure what was going on with my toe, it was hurting but had almost stopped hurting and I had myself convinced it was just a very bad cramp.  I’d been walking on it for at least forty-five minutes by the time we got to the second shop.  Before I left I fixed my socks but decided to take off the right one and have another look at my toe and I found it to be broken. It was black with bruises.  I replaced my sock and my boot and limped home similar to how I got there but with a bit more ginger.  I am pretty sure my toe had gone numb.

Rhonda confirmed the bizarreness of the break to Adam and I reminded them both that when I was in kindergarten I fell off a chair backwards and cracked my head open and I didn’t notice and or cry until after everyone had rushed over to me and the circle I was supposed to be sitting in was reformed and not till then did I touch the sore spot on the back of my head and felt into the wee hole that was later sewn up with stitches. And then in my twenties I broke my clavicle on vacation in the Cook Islands and flew home on a delayed flight and had to overnight in LAX by myself [back when they still put you up in hotels for the night] and didn’t even find out it was broken until I got back.  That particular story I’m saving for a post I am going to call ‘Flying Broken and yet More reasons to hate Air Canada’.

My toe looks really nasty and hurts a little, the worst is that I was going to be going back to Yoga today so I had to email my instructor and say I won’t be back for a bit and because I am so clumsy I really must keep my flipper sandals on or I will forget it is broken, which might sound funny but you’d be amazed at how often I forgot my clavicle was broken and sent myself off screaming in pain from moving it wrong.  Basically I have cold feet.

I guess it has turned into a bit of a vacation, but I love blogging I don’t think I will ever stop for good to be honest. I can’t wait till there are Granny bloggers.

I’m still reading blogs I’m just reading them off of Twitter links or through Facebook, I have not been able to face my iGoogle page because I will have to deal with my feed. It is too overwhelming for me. I think I will have Adam sign in and mark everything as READ and start over. That is what I normally do when it becomes overwhelming but I do it myself, this is the most backed up I’ve ever let it get.

You know what totally sucks about not signing into your feed though? I have no idea what is going on. Twitter although fast, does not contain very many of the people that I talk to on a regular basis in real life and Facebook which does hold a lot of people I talk to on a very regular basis is set up in such a way that if you don’t sign in at the exact right moment you don’t find out till the 23^rd that a RAD ASS girlfriend had her baby on the 21^st. Ok, so the baby was a wee bit early but had I have been signed into my iGoogle page I’d have known, damn skippy, right when she popped.

I find that I’m constantly sending friendly HEY HOW IS IT GOING? emails to people only to go to their blogs AFTER and find out everything sucks. Great friend Corinna, seriously.

I added a nifty little ‘Books Read in 2008′ thingy to my sidebar. I like it; it encourages me to make my minimum reading quota for the year which I am three behind on at present.

I took my blog roll down, NOTHING PERSONAL!!! You are all still on my feed and then some [just because you weren’t linked doesn’t mean you aren’t on my feed] and I promise I will catch up on it. I meant it when I said I was taking it back old school, I have not once checked my stats the couple times I have posted, not even once, I have not been on Technorati even once and don’t plan to head back, I’m finding I don’t miss checking either. It was a compulsive urge I had to make a conscious effort to stop doing.

My allergies are so bad this year that they are keeping me even more in doors than they normally do re: we golf, but we have no money this year anyway so the allergies are coming in handy for truthful excuses as to why I can’t be places. But really I know I’ve had a headache since 1994 I can DEAL, sometimes I just don’t want to.

DEAR ALLERGY MEDICATION SPRAY MAKERS: if you are going to charge me forty + dollars for a bottle that hardly lasts a month can you maybe make it with a sprayer thing that works and doesn’t clog ALL THE TIME and refuse to pick up the last four sprays that’d be awesome I would really appreciate my moneys worth in nose bleeds please and thank you.

While indoors if I’m not reading I am spending a lot of time listening to Bobby Darin, I AM A FULL ON BOBBY DARIN ADDICT now to the point I can even tell the difference between him and Frank Sinatra. At this EXACT moment, Country House, Blur is playing though. That Bobby Darin song If a Man Answers makes me dance a jig that has me busting out the mashed pa-ta-to and everything in between.

I am starting to feel a lot better about my body, I’m eating more, have more energy, feel some motivation to get out and I have been! And I’ve been spoiling myself I got my hair cut and my eyelashes tinted. I used to get them tinted in high school and in my super early twenties but yet never got them tinted when we got married, who knows.

Have a breakdown of the magnitude of the one I’m still physically recovering from ever again.

I can’t tell if it really was that bad or if the natural progression of my age since my last bad one is making a full physical recovery seem near impossible and has gotten to the point where YAY! I don’t want to leave my house again and that is the last thing I need to be feeling right now.

Last year when I finally hit what I considered a healthy weight [see below] I was STILL criticized by some for my lack of obvious muscles, and was called fat.

I’ve always been small, until an unfortunate running injury [that I still have, LONG story!!] most people have known me to be extremely athletic with an athletic build, athletic lifestyle and always fit. I remember a day a friend and I got up, went for a run, went skiing, hit a bucket of balls at the driving range on the way down from the hill, and then decided to hit a ten pin bowling alley before calling it a day and heading for a massive meal. I was running between 44:30 and 46 minute ten ks on the pavement and in my sleep. Those days are left as some of my fondest memories and I yearn for them to become a reality again soon. And the worst is I know that I’d be FASTER now.

Adam said the other day “you HAVE to start running again” and he is right, when I am running nothing can stop me, nothing can get me down, I’m clam, collected and in control, probably a bit more arrogant than normal but someone you want around all the time not ONLY in small doses, not someone who is unreliable and not someone that there is ALWAYS something wrong with. When I look back on my life thus far the hardest and worst times have all taken place in periods where for whatever reason I stopped because of them or was already on a short break from running.

This post isn’t about my running history though it is about weight, the point there being that when I’m running which I was basically my whole life up until late 2003 you could call me thin, you could call me skinny - even though I’d be smacking you upside the head for the skinny remark in my mind and stabbing you with invisible lasers - but you could NEVER call me anorexic I was too built and I ate like a mother-fucker one of those skinny bitches [that term makes me want to rip my FACE OFF!] who could eat anything in any amount and did.

For someone who grew up being the smallest of all my friends and still is, except for one, but she has a healthy body, I got so used to the remarks that when they stopped it was as if I had descended upon some odd fantasy land where I was viewed as a WOMAN with curves and BOOBS, I was proudly referring to my weight gain as my honeymoon fifteen and did things like this, but that wasn’t supposed to mean that I’d welcome becoming an anxiety stricken unhealthy too thin depressed self loathing person in the second year of my marriage and drop to a weight that I know is lower than I’ve ever been in my adult life. I refuse to step on a scale, the lack of my clothing and undergarments fitting leave me pretty confident that my estimate of my current pounds is scary enough and I haven’t owned a scale in over a decade.

Aside from my weight, and how unhealthy I am in general, no energy, sleeping loads, hair falling out and just knowing I’m sickly I’ve been pretty happy mentally, steady happy, I’m recovering from set backs faster, when I freak out it is toned down times a trillion million for serious, I’ve had two days that have been real bad but the rest have just been the occasional normal down days there haven’t been any bouts of depression lasting more than a few days, I’ve stepped away from the computer when wanting to be an ass hole, I took a break from posting as you can see by the front page of dates and I’m coming back to posting complaining about my weight for a reason.

If you are over weight, fat, too thin or skinny which ever term you do or don’t prefer here is something I know you don’t like - PEOPLE COMMENTING ON IT TO YOUR FACE! Look, I get it, people talk, I’ve gotten that one for years and it has helped me greatly but this is where you talk behind my back about how much weight I’ve lost. Unless you want to help me in a positive way to get my weight back on then fuck the fuck right the fuck off. Just to be clear, I’m not talking about anyone who talks to me in a genuinely concerned way, I’m not talking about my inner circle I’m talking about people in general, this ISN’T just about me it is about anyone who struggles with depression, unwanted or wanted weight, trust me, just trust, when I say NO ONE wants to hear it. WE KNOW!!!!!

This is something ingrained in society that will never change but infuriates me and I had forgotten how much. At the weight in the above photo NO ONE commented in a negative way unless they themselves were anorexic. If you were in my most inner circle it meant congratulations because I had finally done it, I had finally put on weight, and I finally FELT like a woman. Right now I feel like a fucking pre-pubescent girl, I feel disgusting, unhealthy and sick and no one in their right mind should want to look how I look at present. This past week has been the worst yet. I have been sick in the guts almost every day, nauseous, winded coming up the stairs and not able to get up and stay out of bed for long periods. I’m hoping that writing this is the intervention I need to get physically healthy again and I think I need to face that I’m going to need my doctors assistance my shrink knows I’m struggling and we talk about it but that doesn’t seem to be enough. If only one of them could prescribe me a start off of twenty free pounds, I’d even sign a wavier promising not to add it all to my tits.

Starter GOALS:

Get out of the house EVERY DAY no matter what rain or shine for at least a half an hour or more,

Eat a minimum of three times a day even if I have to force feed myself or drink protein shakes

When I get sick I am a pretty big baby combine that with seasonal allergies and night time barfing and things have been fantastic!

Boooo last Friday I had to cancel therapy re: being sick, no girl time re: being sick and I had only been looking forward to that for WEEKS! Adam is sick as well so we’ve been passing this shit back and forth and at first I wasn’t snotty I just felt EXTRA balloon migraine head with MILD head cold, NOW I’m getting full head cold and snotty. YAY! I’ve been having really awesome night sweats as well and I haven’t been forgetting to take my crazy people tits and so therefore I can not pin point a reason other than being SICK.

In other news, The Greeper has a new place that she likes to sleep. Pretty exciting shit eh? I know, I thought so too until it turned out she’s serious and has taken over half the spot I sleep in. She has of course had other phases, other places she goes back to. The fashion box, the tent, I’m sure she will get bored of sleeping right below BUT almost ON my pillow soon.

Our camera is not back from being fixed yet so we had to buy a back up one. We couldn’t delay the monkeys any more due to lack of photos, but at the same time we HAVE to be able to take photos of our product. This issue of course led us into a discussion of other things that could happen to slow us down, when we are just about done with a lot of the start up necessities and can now work on picking up our production pace. I mentioned that there would come a time that we’d make a monkey, look at it, hate it or it would not meet our quality standards and we’d have to start over. Really, did I say that out loud? Because it happened the monkey after I said it! YAY! We have informed the buyer, I figure honesty is best, there is only two of us and both of us had a hand in it sucking so we’ve had to start over. Now we have a physically challenged monkey in our apartment, at least Dr. Vegas finally has a monkey that isn’t going anywhere to play with mostly because it is blind and can’t speak. Once that red thread goes on for the mouth the suckers don’t shut up. Banana this, poo in your face that.

My Dad is supposed to be dropping two boxes of stuff off to Adam and I on Saturday, some of my stuff, some stuff they are giving us, some stuff that has been in the family forever that I am taking because I’m the last member of our family and I don’t want it leaving the family till I die I guess. Small problem though, my Dad and I got into one of our infamous fights today. Oh how I love them. Always in regards to the exact same issue(s) hidden by topics seemingly cloaked in difference that spread years, weeks, months some just days - we some how manage to piss each other off regularly even when not in big fights. My mom is going to be all upset now and that’ll be my entire fault too, I’m sure. Super awesome, we both resort to behavior befitting that of two year olds and just generally spin in circles for a while. Fun times. We have worked hard on things as a family but my Dad and I, man we’ll just always scrap, sadly that is just how we are, we can’t seem to communicate in any sort of healthy way. Wonder how many more phases this move to Bali holds in store for us.

Just finished my fifth book of the year leaving me three behind my minimum quota for 2008, I will get off my ass and post on them soon. This year has been good so far aside from The Time Travelers Wife. EWWWW.

So I will go BULLETS on you.

• Every single time one of us sits at the computer Gus jumps straight onto a lap she has her head buried in my arm right now. She is the most adorably cute annoying cat in the world.

• Adam hurt himself at work and has been off here and there and so I’ve had to carry some heavy shit and;

1. it made me wonder how the hell I was ever as independent as I was
2. someone held the back door to the apartment building open for me, I made it all the way up the stairs to my floor and swung the door open so I could let it hit me in the back to go through but I didn’t move far enough over and the door knob NAILED me so hard that it happened on Monday and I still have pain shooting in a couple of directions and a massive LUMP.

• COMING SOON!!! HUGE and I mean HUGE MOOOOO-VIE post. While we make monkeys we watch movies, mostly movies we’ve seen or I watch them twice or vise versa, some will be old and some will be new movies. I feel that my one liner-ish reviews are generally better than if I go all out anyway.

• Speaking of movies, and forgive me as I’ll probably repeat some of this somewhere down the road but I FINALLY got my hands on a copy of Into the Wild BUT now I’m afraid to watch it, WHY? Because see, I read the book in April 2005 [NERD ALERT/reminder: I date all of my books when I finish them] I have also read most of Jon Krakauer’s other books. The book Into the Wild is a 199 pages, with epilogue 203. I had this funny feeling having just watched two movies of perfect length so I looked at Into the Wild and saw that it is 143 minutes. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I’m now convinced that Krakauer and Penn are conspiring against all of man kind, how the HECK does a 199 page book become a 143 minute movie? Krakauer wrote Into the Wild before he became known for being an arrogant thinks he knows it all, extremely repetitive journalist [NOT SAYING HE HASN’T BEEN THROUGH A LOT re: Everest] but seriously is half this fucking movie going to be Penn and Krakauer masturbating their egos and Krakauer getting us back for writing such a short book in comparison? I guess I’ll see once I watch it.

• Also coming soon a very personal review of Dry, Augusten Burroughs, [who has a new book out on April 29 YAY!] and I wasn’t planning on reviewing it at all but I have a few things to say about The Last Days of Socrates, Plato. Once I start talking about the damn Socrates I can’t shut up now, I feel similar to how I felt after I read 1984.

• OUR CAMERA IS BROKEN!!!!!! On one hand I feel really lame getting so upset over a materialistic possession but our camera is not just a play toy for us anymore we NEED it for our business so we are pretty stressed about it or rather I am, Adam doesn’t really stress much about anything in life. I have a couple tricks up my sleeve to hopefully get some photos of two monkeys that will be done this weekend and HOPEFULLY by the time the Jedi one is done THAT IS RIGHT A JEDI ONE, the camera will be fixed. I don’t pray but if you do please say a prayer for our new business. All start ups have glitches. We’ve officially hit a glitch.

• I finally had the pleasure of meeting Raul over the last weekend at Tanya’s housewarming party. I am like the last blogger in Vancouver to meet him I think. He was everything he has been talked up to be and more! I was the one at the party with the sippy cup. I had every intention of joining y’all at Every Third Tuesday this month because the Hamburgler [Monica Hamburg] was the speaker, I call her a friend, she doesn’t read my blog, that is cool man, but she is rad, I heard she did a great job, sorry I missed it, been taking care of my dear husband yo.

• We now have our FOURTH coffee pot in less than two years. The first one I broke in a tantrum of mass destruction, although I was not TRYING to break the coffee pot I just forcefully put it under the tap and knocked it into something. THEN Sarah and Jack bought us a rad coffee pot for a wedding gift [can’t find the post re: FUCKED archives] but even though we know at least four other couples/people who have that coffee pot and they ALL still have it ours broke!! WOOOOOOOOOOO! RIGHT after the warranty was done, probably the day after. I then bought a $24.99 twelve cup coffee pot, cheapest one I could find. Last week the heating plate went on it. Adam likes burnt coffee I blame him. SO I bought YET another coffee pot, and this one makes loud noises and I want to throw it out the window and I don’t have the box to take it back because I am a recycling freak and actually get excited about the amount of things I have to recycle and FUCK now I have to wait out this shit coffee pot, watch it last ten years, seriously.

Ps. Dr. Vegas is always a mentor to the Sock Monkeys, he always gives em’ some advice before they leave our infantry but this particular monkey the Dr. really took to. They had a pretty awesome jam session before he departed, Vegas has already shown off his guitar though so he took it off for the photo.

During Vancouver’s most extreme rainy season, some people here call it winter, I do not walk over to my Shrink’s office - I take cabs. It is a little luxury I take the liberty of indulging in.

I’m well aware of the series ‘Vancouver’s Cab Crisis CTV News Investigates‘. BUT I have not watched, read or listened to any of their coverage, because a pretty good while before I saw it previewed as an upcoming News Investigation [other than it just being a space filler mentioned from time to time] I had already started an investigation of my own. It wasn’t that I ever had the intention of making any kind of relevant story out of it, I was just curious because I have always been a bit of a bus snob and it has only gotten worse with the city COVERED in construction for the 2010 Olympics, and thus I noticed the decline of anything even remotely resembling service rather quickly.

I started to notice it around Christmas so no one would even listen to me because it was Christmas and all I’d get was, ‘it is Christmas there are never any cabs’ and I would be like NO this is different you can feel it in the air something is wrong out there. I probably didn’t defend my claims exactly like that but I KNEW I WAS RIGHT!

Taking a cab is supposed to be somewhat relaxing and out of nowhere not only could I not find a cab and was almost late for therapy numerous times and had to wait up to thirty-five minutes outside a popular hotel for a cab home, I noticed that once I was in the cab the drivers suddenly started to act as if they had no idea how to drive around the city. To a resident it became crystal clear that due to everyone who lives in Metro-Vancouver knowing full well that what is known as the Cambie Bridge is OFF LIMITS - until if we are lucky 2010 and don’t forget that it is thanks to YOUR grandchildrens’ tax dollars - and that drivers were facilitating a mad conspiracy to screw us all.

So ok I will give you that getting in a cab and having to give EXACT street by street directions is not that bad, is not too much to ask, and obviously I had been taking it a tad for granted that everyone here is just so damn nice. Sure. Since last December I have seen more cabs drive right past my MAN HANDS WAVING than I have actually flagged since 1996 it makes me sick and I fear for us all in 2010 if cab drivers are treating us residents this poorly.

I started to ask the ones who didn’t dick me around and actually make ME explain WHY they shouldn’t take Cambie questions about what was going on in the city. For a while I was happy buying that due to the entire province needing workers that they were just short; but what wasn’t working for me was the excessive out of the way trips drivers were taking to get places, and I was letting them know. Sometimes I forget to give my route because I’m distracted or busy arguing with them about where the traffic is when I KNOW DAMN WELL THEY KNOW!!!! [Ps. I used to work directly with courier call centers FOR YEARS.] I would just give up and say go which ever way is fastest which means they take Cambie and before I realize and can do anything about it I’m already pretty much swearing at them.

The anger I had begun to feel just getting in a cab came to a peak of sorts when on the way home from my Shrink’s office recently with Adam in the cab, and on our dime the driver stopped his car, rolled down his window and started YELLING at people who had managed to flag a cab down town from the suburb of Langley - he YELLED don’t pay him he is out of his zone!!!!!! And the driver went into an elaborate speech about how the suburb cab companies were stealing their business. REALLY? Are they?

Sorry but I’d still pay the guy whether he is out of zone, area, whatever you want to call it cause guess what ass face HE STOPPED! This is when I thought hmmm maybe I should post on this.

Yesterday it hit the fan like a bird getting stuck in a jet engine there were feathers EVERYWHERE!

I get in, we argue over traffic and it is raining and I am EXTREMELY grumpy and ready for my session. I missed the street I should have asked him to turn down and it was too late. I began making comments, “I can’t believe you actually took Cambie in the rain”, “this ride costs me twelve dollars every Friday you’d better hope for no traffic”.

DEAD STOP. GRID LOCK!

By this time my anger is boiling, fiery red blood is about to spew all over him and burn him a new asshole. I consider calling Adam and just venting very loudly over how mad I am. But I was in a rage so I decided FUCK THIS I’m getting out. The meter was at $9.75 and we were not even half way across.

“I’m giving you a twenty right now, give me a ten I’m getting out.”

He of course doesn’t seem to like this but I insist knowing I have to get out before his car reaches a certain point or I stand more than a chance of dooring a cyclist, to say the very least.

We exchange the money; I look right at him and say “I REFUSE TO SIT HERE IN TRAFFIC!”, get out, slam the door, hop over the separator to the walk path, quickly becoming thankful the rain had stopped and instantly phone Adam and burst forth like a tempest my story of VICTORY and empowerment over a cab driver and hoofed it the rest of the way JUST making it on time.

I ended my conversation with Adam by saying the ONLY way things are going to change in this city in regards to cabs is if people start jumping out of them. See if any cab driver dicks me around after THAT. I have the balls.

In the wee hours of last Sunday morning it finally hit, almost like I had been waiting for it, but I clearly wasn’t because just hours before I had stated that I was very proud of myself for making if this far into the ’season’ with just regular old depression nothing major, and then I went to sleep some heavy bricks fell and I woke up later in the day with that feeling of weight bearing down on me.

Getting out of the city can simply not come fast enough. Tomorrow is going to be a bloody hellish day and then Saturday we leave. I really hope that once I get up north this nasty cloud of depression, anxiety and inability to see anything without negative attentional bias [aka paranoia] passes because it is starting to wreak massive [extra] havoc already.

My back is not getting better and I am finding it extremely stressful, I was able to go out and get many missions done today but not without arriving home and realizing how much was left to do and how much pain I was in and how much ass I felt like and I crashed onto the pillow until Adam came home. I am seeing my actual Doctor tomorrow instead of the Chiropractor because I’m concerned I have never had back pain of any kind for this long before and I’m a clumsy bastard so I want stronger drugs is basically why I’m going.

Flying up north on its own is EXTREMELY stressful in the winter or really any time of year for that matter. The airports of Northern British Columbia are notorious for canceled flights due to weather because the planes simply can not land.

I am sure everyone is feeling their own level of Christmas and/or seasonal stress right now whether you love or hate the holidays, I just could have done fine without the crash in depressionville with it, thinking everyone hates you and is out to get you at Christmas it feels EXTRA good.

I just got back from my third Chiropractor visit and I am for sure going to go in again on Monday after I work as I’m thinking I’ll be working Monday. Yesterday’s test trek had positives and negatives in relation to the healing of the back.

I’ll regress a bit:

Most of you are familiar with my constant comments I make about my headaches, I have yet to do a post actually explaining them, but they are partially related to my neck and back. The majority of the time I suffer chronic head pain and it leaves my back and neck alone but due to three crashes, one at three years old, one at around twelve and another at twenty my back isn’t right. It isn’t right at all. I also do not handle stress well and tend to hold the extra that isn’t making my head pound in my upper back and neck. It often feels like I am being stabbed with multiple knives all throughout my shoulder area. This pain has all been on the left side lower to middle back and left side of my head.

Yesterday I was slightly disappointed that I was able to still feel pain when I went on my mini shopping trip because I had been told to do NOTHING and so I have done nothing to the point where we are washing dishes to use them, Gus could make a nest with my fallen hair, her hair and dust and we’d not see her till spring and I don’t even want to THINK about the bathroom or the laundry situation. Once I got home and stopped moving it settled down but that doesn’t sit well with me because I really need to get this place cleaned before we leave on a jet plane, not to mention get through shifts at work without customers asking me if I am ok.

I’m glad I didn’t make it worse yesterday and I made the right decision not going to Adam’s Christmas party. I am pretty old school that way, If I am off work I don’t feel it is right to be gallivanting off to some party, [testing my back on a two hour trek up Robson in the pouring rain is rather far from heals and free food and drinks on a boat till 10:30pm] I had the camera on me because I thought he wasn’t going out till 8pm-ish and when I phoned him from Payless around 5:30pm to ask: Napoleon Dynamite style moon boots or rip off Uggs when I already knew what he’d say, he was on his way out the door. He looked super dapper when he got home, he’d worn a suit. He has this really sexy brown pinstripe one from Club Monaco, I’d have taken his photo when he got in but I was tired silly. The man has style though, and he approves of the top I bought for the Saturday Christmas party. It is 100% husband approved!

Yes, I went out wearing the outfit in the photo, and that outfit is just ONE exhibit in relation to my pleas and WHY I keep asking/telling you folks that someone, Keira, Jennifer, anyone, must for the love of fashion nominate me for ‘What Not to Wear’ and fast I could show up at your place wearing this at ANY TIME!!!!

You’ve all been warned.

No matter how long I live here I can not dress for the weather, no matter how hard I try I am either too hot or too cold.

Let me first tell you what I have on my person and that it was plus one or more degrees when I went out and pissing rain.

• Brown knit, ‘Sneaky Brim Toque’
• Not done hair
• Glasses
• Pink wool, Banana Republic coat
• White mittens
• An umbrella with ALMOST broken open button
• Long sleeve cotton shirt
• 100% wool sweater (with fleece lined neck)
• Jeans
• Wigwam socks
• Wellies
• A bag

Can you say over heat much? Today was ridiculous, I felt like I weighed a million pounds, not good for any day let alone the first day I leave my house to also test my back out. I had to wear my Banana Republic coat and not my Helly Hansen snowboard jacket [even though SKIING IS WHERE IT IS AT!!!!!] because my jacket is BRIGHT orange and would have looked worse than I already did in my coat and wellies, I think.

I needed some panties because I have lost what I fondly refer to as my newlywed comfort weight and am back in a size small panty, I needed a shirt for a Christmas party Saturday night - I found one - which led to needing a new bra which I got in a 34B and not a 32C yet I have lost weight. You tell me. Christmas or not my outfit will have pink.

By the time I got to Payless to look for winter boots for our trip up North I was dripping in sweat and had remembered three times over that I had forgotten my RE-USE-ABLE BAGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When this happened to Adam he walked home from the grocery store with the groceries in his arms, hands and pockets to teach himself a lesson. I think my outfit was lesson enough and you can’t walk around other stores with panties hanging out of your pockets.

Even though I got boots at Payless I MAY end up taking them back they were seventy something dollars after taxes at PAYLESS?? The more I think about it the more wrong it seems.

Today is a perfect example of WHY I let Adam dress me. From now on when people ask me WHY or look at me funny when I say my husband dresses me [as long as he is home!] they will be referred to this post.

AND on the walk home it started to rain hardish and the umbrella with ALMOST broken open button, BROKE and would not open and my fingers got extremely sore and red and cold. I tossed it because it was poking my anger spot.

I hurt my back again and had to come home from work again like a pussy last weekend and have been off all week. I go back this weekend. Work are being so good to me it is awesome. I haven’t put my back out like this in YEARS as noted by my chiropractor who always has to flip back through his notes and ALWAYS asks have you seen anyone else since you were last here and I always answer with, this is the only place I go, every few years when I need it. I do not know exactly what I did to it. I obviously didn’t let it heal right when it first started to bother me because this time was just like last time which was I guess two and a half weeks ago now. I wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary I was sitting with Adam drinking coffee and BAM all of sudden searing back pain. I even said to my boss I had been out the night before but again I wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary as I was playing Guitar Hero III at Tanya’s, I was not rocking out any harder than normal in fact I’d say less hard considering how much I suck playing in front of ANYONE, even Adam. If I was ever a real rock star I could never play live. UNLESS it was Air Guitar because that is hard to screw up so I think I would keep public appearances to Air Guitar.

Check out this seriously awesome photo that Reilly took of me, click on it, seriously, there are more awesome shots by him and some taken with our lacking camera (DON’T GET MAD MOM AND DAD YOU DIDN’T MAKE IT (NOT YELLING)) on my flickr. We met some more rad people [as if we hadn’t met enough this year already] at Tanya’s place, some bloggers, some not, it was great fun. I’d have to say I think I am getting over my social anxiety issues with a vengeance.

While I am on the subject of Guitar Hero [and don’t you dare say when are you not!] I’ll need to mention that the Kramer is a piece of crap. The green button is sticking and making it *almost* unplayable so I went back to the SG with the cord and although I can play better, what would you know the fret board on the Kramer does allow for better finger sliding. SO I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and don’t know which guitar to play with. I know I know cry me a river on that one. BUT secondly, Jennie Roth is coming BACK for another visit as some of you already know. NOW at first it was just going to be Jennie and I somewhere I am sure with other blogging nerds, but also nerding out together in our matching ‘Sneaky Brim Toques’ mine in brown hers in green taking a million photos for shits and giggles, trading toques me giving her my Canadian germs her passing over some American ones but NOW a gauntlet of sorts has been thrown down by a guest poster named ‘Charlie’ he writes and I quote:

I’m going to start Jennie on a rigorous guitar hero training program, so anyone that has any thoughts of taking her down had better think again. When I’m done with her, she’ll be rocking so hard she could make unicorns cry blood. That’s right….I said it.

Jennie and I have already been involved in friendly blatant trash talk, I think this is going to be worth waiting for.

Ok well screw me I was going to write about Christmas and other things keeping me busy at present but this is long enough already. I’ll be back!