if anybody is up for more cowbell it’s me. i am always heavy on the cowbell. always.
walking to the pitch and putt one day ages ago now, i was hammering on the cowbell. or for you peeps not familiar with SNL, busting out hard on the lyrics to the blue oyster cult’s (don’t fear) the reaper.
i am super bad with lyrics.

for example when i bust out the lyrics to steely dan’s reelin in the years, i sing a variety of lyrics not in the real song.

are you reelin in the knees
stowing away the tide
are you gathering up the tees
have you had enough wine

these may sound like the correct lyrics when i sing them, but they are not.

i also have a tendency - adam just LOVES this one - to sing only one part of whatever song i’m singing that day, hour, minute, second. whether a line, a whole verse a chorus, i give it all i’ve got every time and i sing it over and over and over…..

on this particular day i was givin’er super hard.

DON’T FEAR THE REAPER, REAPER IS A CREEPER, CREEPER FEARS THE REAPER, REAPER IS A GREEPER, GREEPER EATS THE REAPER.

did i mention if i can’t remember the words and haven’t already insisted they are what i’m singing and not what the artist wrote, i will simply make up my own?

DON’T FEAR THE REAPER,REAPER IS A CREEPER,CREEPER FEARS THE REAPER, REAPER IS A GREEPER, GREEPER EATS THE REAPER.

this went on and on in any and every variation you can think of for the entire round. to my surprise adam was laughing (with me) and totally got down with it and before we knew it EVERYTHING was a ‘greeper’, people, wild life, other stuff, they were all greepin’ around the course. greepin’ us out. doing greepy things. bloody greepers. we got home and to our utter dismay discovered that GUS IS A GREEPER. although a very cute little baby greeper. but still a greeper none the less.
sounded like a good name for my website to me.

my mom is here this weekend so i have a camera! this means i haven’t been commenting on your posts…very sorry, i will catch up on you all i promise!

i have some great golf shots to post but i decided that gus is so cute that i had to post her first!

i hope everyone that gets a long weekend is loving it! and the rest of you are just having a good weekend in general!

thanks so much for all the ‘TENS’ you awesome jerks and jerketts gave me on BUST. yesterday i got to be in the top ten blogs for the day! if more people were to rate me i could maybe stay there!

i am feeling kinda low.bored.paranoid and insecure.today.no reason

don’t really have much to say at the moment. i have an idea for a super cool scan but i don’t know if it will work, i can’t try it till adam gets home though.

i have to clean clean clean today, with all of my favourite cleaning products. my mom gets here tomorrow morning for the long weekend. i will have a camera woo hoo!

here are two photos from a recent time i was around a camera. i can’t wait to take pictures of gus. if you want me to take a photo of anything here in vancouver, canada do let me know.

IF you heart me as much as i heart all of you please go here and vote for me and don’t make me go Antiblogger on your ass either, just VOTE. (please)

here’s what happened. dr. vegas got super pissed off and started spitting monkey saliva and throwing his poo around the apartment because Gus got to be scanned and he didn’t. i beat him for behaving in this manner. i am not ashamed.
then when i wasn’t looking he sprung up onto the scanner and started scanning his crotch! dirty fucking monkey.

i can’t even believe that THIS is the same monkey! i threatened to throw my poo at him if he didn’t sit nice.

for more monkey debacle click HERE, there are also some photos in this section of me with REALLY bad hair. just be warned.

cat butt rules. binsk clearly demonstrated this and thus i was inspired to post this photo of Gus.
please do not tell Gus i have posted it. she will kill me!! she meowed something about me being a sneaky bitch, and how dare i violate her by taking a picture of her asshole while i THOUGHT she wasn’t looking. she should stop her bloody meowing cause if i had a digital camera this asshole would be centered!!

also check out this kick ass site, she is also Canadian and i think she likes cat butt too!

we are sneaky bastards. (it was totally my idea) we left the scanner lid up because she is a bad kitty and sits on top of it all the time. we waited and waited. she didn’t step up. why are cats only bad when we don’t want them to be? we resorted to plan b. plan b involved low level coaxing with some cat nip atop the scanner. what cats will do for cat nip. geesh

gus has the cutest kitty paws in the world, as this scan clearly shows.

i don’t want to influence anyone here but adam is pretty much in tears over the fact that burmis has only 7 votes. this is a one off appeal, if you like the name burmis and you also enjoy riding the bus there is an opportunity here for you to do the right thing.

Depression fucks me up good sometimes. It is fucking me up the ass so hard right now I can’t tell up from down.
I don’t understand why I can go to therapy every fucking week and work so fucking hard on myself and my chemical imbalance that tom cruise and every other fucking asshole out there who thinks that people like me use depression to get attention and we’re full of shit and cost companies shit loads of money a year and blah fucking blah. I dare you fuckers (only the ones that are in the ‘tom’ category) to feel like this for one fucking day!!!
To have a day, a month a year (I wish) of thinking I’m making progress with the OCD, anxiety, hating life, hating myself, the not ever understanding WHY people really think life is so fucking great and all…..and then waking up wanting to die so bad there is almost nothing except having lost a friend to suicide that keeps me here. I can never let people see me cry. I only cry at inappropriate times like in meetings with my boss, the wrong people see it. When I need to cry because I am so fucking hateful of myself and the things I can’t be thankful for that I should be I can’t. I just hurt. And I don’t eat. I starve myself to make myself pay for being the loser I was brought up to be so at least I am technically living up to my fucked up potential.
The worst is when I feel myself slipping like I have been for a couple weeks, it creeps in slowly I start to care what people think, start to take stupid shit personal, start to feel paranoid, my muscles start to feel airy like they are floating and I can’t sleep without taking anxiety medication along with my regular crazy people meds - this is how I know I am heading down the road of no return. Yesterday was the first time I even left the apartment in over FIVE FULL DAYS at all - the furthest I had gone until that point was to check the mail. My face was looking so pale I thought I was going to die from paleness.
Here I am this person with talent and shit, I’m even naturally smrt… and I can’t get far enough away from my demons to make a go of it. I am 28 and have accomplished nothing. I am an unemployed fucking loser.
It is not fair that I feel afraid of posting this or being this open. But I guess that is life and one thing about life is that it is not fair. And I promised myself, for myself that’d I’d be honest with myself on this blog and I am myself, I am myself on this blog and I am myself in real life and it is because I am myself that I think people don’t like me!! Because people don’t seem to like real people who are honest and deal with their shit and talk about stuff like this they get scared and think I am crazy. I AM CRAZY that is the fucking point. Take it or leave it. I DO NOT DWELL - I DEAL. But some days, weeks, I don’t fucking want to. I can only imagine how much more fucked up I’d be without therapy.

There see, I am a fucking alien.

Back in the day I used to have Beck Odelay. But someone took it or I lost it or I sold it for drugs. I don’t know. My guess is that it is in Beijing.
Beck and I completely lost touch. We saw each other across the room, through the TV, in stores, I would hear him on the radio but we never really connected.

And then some jack-ass, I think it was ABC stole some Beck off the internet. It was ‘Paper Tiger’ and ‘Guess I’m Doing Fine’. I was like what the fuck…Beck is such a LOSER who cares, he is such a lost cause he is just going to hotwax my hard drive you mutherfucker.

Lord only knows how it happened but I had a bottle of blues and suddenly I was ALL ABOUT BECK. The sweet sunshine is not even enough to make me turn off the Beck. I have to listen to Beck. All day, every day. I told ABC, I will play it again, I will sing it again, I will make you sick of Beck, I will make you cry lonesome tears that I will ignore and just play more Beck!! I proceeded to buy two Beck cds right away and borrowed three to rip.

Hell yes! Play that Beck baby or take the emergency exit over there and drink from your beercan of sorrows. I am in love with Beck Beck Beck and more Beck and I will turn if off…… NEVER.

I am going to have to start a breast ‘category’ I know it.

Ok y’all here is the deal and seeing as it is pretty evident that I do in fact know everything I expect your full attention.

Sometimes (not all the time….before you start shitting on me there ARE exceptions) I am overly puzzled by the complaints from women in regards to men staring at their breasts.

I myself am a woman. I have breasts. Small ones but breasts none the less and I like mine A LOT. Shit I just realized my bra is on twisted again today. I was going to hold my breasts as I normally do when I sit thinking and I was like man what is that annoying pain in my side and yup yet again wasn’t paying attention when I got dressed. I am wearing this one today. Back to my story now jerks.

I have always been a LARGE lover of breasts. Whenever I’ve made out with chicks I have always gone STRAIGHT for the boobs. I look for any excuse I can to grab my girlfriends boobs AND if they don’t like me staring I tell them to PUT THEM THE FUCK AWAY. (since I met Adam I have not made out with any chicks but the boob grabbing is TOTALLY different) When I go out for walks or go shopping, basically go wherever there are women it is all I have to keep MY eyes on where I am going. I walk around staring at chests, all of them, all the time. I will notice a woman and her teetas well before I will notice an attractive man. And no I am not a closet lesbian, this is my point….If I can’t stop staring at your tits, talking to your tits and drooling over your tits…please explain to me how the fuck men are supposed to?? For real. Most of us bitches flaunt them like it is Christmas every day.

Just something to think about. Or not whatever….won‘t stop me staring at your teetas either way. That woman, the crazy one that won’t look you in the eye…that’s ME!

Have a good weekend jerks.