On one of the Detroit stations I watch Ellen is now on at 7am so I can watch it while I am making Adam�s lunch. I can�t laugh as loud or dance as vigorously but I can watch it again at 11am or 5pm so seriously no worries if I get a bit distracted and miss some.

Yesterday my neck hurt all day long and I could not turn it left at all. Today it feels fine. My bad neck is from car accidents that were NOT my fault and so I never really know what puts it or my back out all I know for sure is that my headaches LOVE IT they go off the charts.

I got a hair cut last week but it looks the same just neater. Adam didn�t even notice. It caused my first moment of fear in our marriage. Only five months and he doesn�t notice my HAIR?????????????????? What�s next he forgets our 6 month anniversary????

Ps. YAY Hillary for 2008. DO IT UP!

I have cereal mouth from eating bad for you cereal. Adam was getting food and I asked for bad for me cereal and he got Reese Puffs and now we have Fruit Loops and we don’t normally get bad for you cereal. I thought I could out smart the tearing the roof of my mouth skin by using a small spoon instead of a big spoon but it only helped till half way through bowl one and then it hurt just as bad again. I’m trying to keep eating it in hopes of breaking my mouth in like new shoes. Only problem I have a really really bad headache that nothing is helping and WHAT IF it is a sugar headache? Because I have a headache all the time to different degrees when they get bad sometimes I can’t pin point exactly where it is coming from. Whole right side, most painful at the top right side.

The skin from my new tattoo is falling off all over the place it isn’t sexy but I love picking up the pieces of skin and examining them but I don’t keep the skin, I’m not sick. It is incredibly hard to concentrate long with this stupid headache and my itchy arm. I promise a better post when one or both are better.

[b]I woke up one morning and a girlfriend[/b] had her MSN name set to �OFF TO BELLINGHAM�. Took a while to dawn on me that was America because I knew I needed stuff and knew there was a reason the word BELLINGHAM was screaming at me. But then I remembered and tripped and fell searching for my phone and I banged my shin and I called with a rushed �WHERE ARE YOU�!!!!! She was still here. �cool man can you grab me the biggest bottle of Excedrin Migraine you can find and ummm do they have Target there I NEED Ellen DVD-licious! I can not live without it, please�.

I got a 230 bottle of Excedrin Migraine; sweet bring on the ulcer yet such fantastic headache relief. A person sending me over the Excedrin is great thank you so much but I really don�t like the whole customs opening it thing. These are good through 2009 and I remember I bought a bottle only slightly bigger than this in Las Vegas years ago and it lasted me forever. That is a blatant lie if it lasted me forever I�d still have it and would not have to beg everyone I know to bring me back bottles from America like it is crack or some shit with the way I fear the bottle even getting empty.

I�m not going to lie to you. I had extremely high expectations for the Ellen DVD-licious! I also feel my expectations were well within limits it was being sold exclusively to one store instantly adding to its appeal and demand. I don�t like saying bad things about Ellen you may remember I had a very hard time with the �Little Snow� incident.

The DVDs are not BAD they are just lame. Still entertaining just a waste of a second DVD everything would have easily have fit on one. There is NO dancing. There is NO Tony. Are you kidding me? Do you have ANY idea how much I MISS Tony I could not wait for the Tony highlights. NONE. NO audience dancing either ONLY some of the funniest shit on earth. Some of my favorite moments include Snoop Dog doing gang symbols any time Allison Janney or Lauren Graham are on and I�ve never watched either of their shows, when she went golfing with Ray Romano and Brad Garrett the fact she hardly ever edits out the bloopers, pretty much every time she has a comedian on and OF COURSE BIG GIN! When Justin Timberlake came out of that Ginger Bread Man I still haven�t officially gotten over how awesome that was and have wanted to dance as a glass of milk since. Snoop Dog did not make DVD-licious but that is ok because neither did Little Snow who SHOULD HAVE BEEN SNOOP DOG!!!

The DVDs are funny as claimed on the cover �funniest moments from the first three years� BUT it is ONLY 104 mins. Her stand up DVD �Here and Now� is 60 minutes. That is one stand up act this is THREE seasons it should have been a minimum of two hours. It left me feeling so empty I�m almost tempted to put it back in to make sure I didn�t miss anything but I am sure I did not. I can�t figure out why it is on two DVDs it makes me wonder if I got a bunk copy. And of course the kid she put on there from Canada is a total brat. Thank you. Why I take that personally I don�t know.

I don�t want my money back I�d still watch it again it is just stupid I only get to dance for the whole 30 seconds the JT part is on and Tony was just so awesome on there I can�t believe there is no highlight of banter between them basically I should have been sought out to make it LICIOUS it is Ellen and it is a DVD but there is NO LICIOUS.

We saw Tool last night. I had never been to a ROCK concert before.

Adam didn�t even like Tool before the concert and he may have just said it was the best show he�d ever seen and something about what could top that now? I�m not sure either.
My hearing is not fully back yet. It is funny walking and not being able to hear your feet hit the ground trying to get the fuck out of there.

Due to my nasty migraines we prepared for the absolute worst case scenario and hoped for the best. We left the house at eight when the concert started we must have gotten there around nine we smoked a joint on the way but somehow Adam forgot to put the other one in his underwear and it got taken away fucking FUCK. People were smoking so much pot from the second we entered it almost didn�t matter, although it did �cause I wanted some damn it. The opening act was off stage and it was interesting to me thinking who was making who wait, Tool or the crowd? The people came in slowly and I wondered if it was the only way they had to show them how uncool it was they didn�t come here for the Lateralus tour but that it was ok they�d been forgiven they were here now.

I have never in my life heard anything that loud it was fucking amazing the chairs were vibrating. I didn�t think I could feel Tool like that, thought I had already been penetrated to the max by their power. I didn�t know you could feel music like that so cavernous and have it actually move my insides. The music was my oxygen.

The stage was all white, images came off the floor and off a small back wall; the stage actually looked like it was going to blow up at one point. Coolest motherfucking thing I have ever seen. Maynard wore cowboy boots, jeans with a huge silver belt buckle, sunglasses and a mohawk. The man must have legs of steel he gets into this monkey stance and stomps around; he sang some songs with a cowboy hat on.

I won�t lie, I cried during the opening song I could not believe I was finally there finally watching them, hearing them seeing them in the flesh. The band is in such an 80�s rocker phase right now it was awesome. I probably had mascara all down my face, I bet I looked rad. I was completely possessed by him by the energy my eyes were glued to the square of space he stomped in. He talked but unless you are not from America you don�t want to know what he had to say. I wonder if he and Natalie Maines are friends.

I would suffer any headache and possibly give a body part away, maybe a kidney to see them again. And I knew they would do �nima as the encore.

unless they are of the athletic variety and match the sport i am participating in i will not wear shorts. until last summer it could be over 30 degrees and there i’d be in my pants. i fully agree with the women on the original british version of what not to wear: women + shorts = wrong.

i hate the heat. so much. it gives me a rash, it itches, i get sun stroke in like ten minutes and then i feel barfy. HELLO migraine. plus i sweat a lot. i hate BUTT sweat the most. yes i did ladies and gentlemen - i just said BUTT SWEAT in reference to myself. i started to get paranoid about my butt sweat penetrating my jeans, which in turn would make me sweat more. you can only imagine the trauma the summer heat causes me. THE TRAUMA.

last summer i decided that my legs couldn’t be that bad. they are rather chicken like. but one of my nike running shirts even says ‘i run therefore i am’. the shirt was obviously telling me it was ok to expose my legs because i run. never underestimate my ability to read between the lines people. i bought two skirts. they are short but when i sit down everything is covered. which almost brings me to the climax of this post. i also cut off a long jean skirt totally crooked but i wear it anyway- it is shorter in the back and barely (but does) cover the pertinent areas when i sit down. this year i added a plaid wanna be golf skirt - i say ‘wanna be’ cause it doesn’t have built in shorts. but again it is ’safe’ to sit down in.

so here’s the deal. girls and women wear skirts a fuck lot shorter than mine. some only wear their vaginas with them and i simply can not get this out of my head. yesterday while walking up the street with adam i saw a girl with a skirt so short it wouldn’t even have covered half my ass. i almost went insane ranting. whilst praying she had some form of panties on.

we have all seen the photo of paris hilton getting out of her car legs akimbo naked pussy right there for the whole world to see. (i will not post it as a reminder because i do have limits) i worry every time i see these ladies in these skirts so short i am half drooling and half grossed out - how many chairs have i sat on that your skanky, sweaty, wet vagina has graced? not to mention your butt sweat. i walk around paranoid as paranoid can be that my ass is not covered and i wonder don’t all women worry about this? and i wear FULL ASS panties with my skirts i won’t even wear a thong if i have a short skirt on. if my vagina in a thong were to touch ANY chair or surface i’d freak.

i understand WHY women would not want to wear panties with skirts. trust me i get it. i just think when you really give it some thought it is seriously disgusting. EVEN if you have full butt panties on i still think it’s gross - the skirt should at least cover your entire private area when you sit. i take good care of my vagina it is important to me and i don’t want any part of your vagina/butt sweat anywhere near MY vagina. no offense. i am sure you all have lovely vaginas but please keep them covered if you are going to sit down and you only have your vagina on under your skirt.

**please note when i say ‘full butt’ it does not mean i support granny panties.