In the wee hours of last Sunday morning it finally hit, almost like I had been waiting for it, but I clearly wasn’t because just hours before I had stated that I was very proud of myself for making if this far into the ’season’ with just regular old depression nothing major, and then I went to sleep some heavy bricks fell and I woke up later in the day with that feeling of weight bearing down on me.

Getting out of the city can simply not come fast enough. Tomorrow is going to be a bloody hellish day and then Saturday we leave. I really hope that once I get up north this nasty cloud of depression, anxiety and inability to see anything without negative attentional bias [aka paranoia] passes because it is starting to wreak massive [extra] havoc already.

My back is not getting better and I am finding it extremely stressful, I was able to go out and get many missions done today but not without arriving home and realizing how much was left to do and how much pain I was in and how much ass I felt like and I crashed onto the pillow until Adam came home. I am seeing my actual Doctor tomorrow instead of the Chiropractor because I’m concerned I have never had back pain of any kind for this long before and I’m a clumsy bastard so I want stronger drugs is basically why I’m going.

Flying up north on its own is EXTREMELY stressful in the winter or really any time of year for that matter. The airports of Northern British Columbia are notorious for canceled flights due to weather because the planes simply can not land.

I am sure everyone is feeling their own level of Christmas and/or seasonal stress right now whether you love or hate the holidays, I just could have done fine without the crash in depressionville with it, thinking everyone hates you and is out to get you at Christmas it feels EXTRA good.

[b]Hello how’s things??[/b] I thought of my blog and all of you enough I think it means I missed you. Were I affectionate I’d hug you all. I was only on the computer ONCE on Monday the 4th when Steve Irwin died. We caught the tail end of the report on CNN and they had already said how he died so I missed it and I was crying and a mess and looked at Adam slowly and said ‘WHY are they talking about him in the past tense- WHY???’ I had a moment of unwillingness to accept his loss which I feel is a World loss there are not enough people like him. You can tell his oldest daughter Bindi has some of his gifts but Bob is too young to tell yet. So we paid the 20 pesos for internet use and looked it up. I just could not have handled hearing he went from something unrelated to his work.

part of ‘The View’

Mexico…ohhhh Mexico. I haven’t posted because I came home with some super classy travelers diarrhea. AKA: EXPLODING ass. I haven’t been able to move much further than the bed to the bathroom, much further away I get stressed I’ll have an ‘accident’. Not 100% sure how I picked it up but it is bad enough I’m scared of ever going on vacation again. I talked to one of my girlfriends who thinks I may have gotten it from eating a lot of salad. I ate a lot of salad there. Apparently the salad either doesn’t get washed right or gets washed in non purified water. While I was there I felt ill regularly but that could have been from one of lots of things, too much sun too much tequila, too much tequila or too much tequila. And faux alka-seltzer made from mineral water and some mystery shit cleared the stomach up nicely. One of Adam’s friends I think it was his best man told him about these NASA scientists and how they discovered that when you take a shot of tequila and a chaser of clamato juice they knock each other out and you taste nothing. Of course we had to try it not believing it was true at first but it is true and the shots they bring you are more like three shots in one so if you wanna get your drunk on, do it, you will be very drunk very fast and suddenly find yourself hating NASA. My parents just figured I had come home and gone straight to work because I hadn’t called; I pretty much went straight to the toilet. Speaking of work the premiere of one of the shows I worked on was on Sunday night and Adam and I both loved it. I was sad because we were flying back and the seat TV’s had The Space channel so I assumed it would be on by 10pm. 10pm came around and it was STILL not on so I was scared it had been cancelled (it has already been playing on the Scifi channel that we don’t get) or moved or whatever but when we got home it had started at 11:00. I can’t wait to see the stuff from the days I was on set doing my little production assistant duties. The ‘other’ show premieres its third season also on Scifi on October 6th. That is all I’ll say if you watch it you know what show it is from that.

too much tequila

We met the awesomest people considering how normally anti social and bitchy I can be I was very surprised I took to talking to as many couples as I did. One in particular Kelly and Dawn- we will for sure be friends with for a long long while I’d say. We hung out with them every day. The resort was almost empty, which ruled in SOME ways. Almost all the guests were Canadian or from somewhere in Mexico. The majority of the people we got on the plane with out of Vancouver- almost all 31 of them were at the same resort.

On our second night there a storm erupted worse/better than any storm I had ever seen. I won’t lie it was so bad it was scary. According to our tour operator dude who lives there he said it was worse than anything they had when ‘John’ passed over, they had a little rain and that was it. This storm soaked our entire balcony with rain so hard if a drop hit a baby right it would have knocked it out cold, I’m sure it killed some birds. The storm was so close there was no breaks in-between the thunder and lightening and I almost fell out of my chair whipping or throwing my arms around my body while I heard what I later learned was Dawn screaming down the hallway. As soon as I said the only thing making me feel safe was the lack of strong wind the wind picked up, some trees fell down.

A baby turtle peed on me I had my DURELL, or I may have died. My ‘Tide to Go’ instant stain remover pen saved the day on many occasions. A ketchup bottle exploded on me and got a big part of my skirt and the pen got it out. It also helped in removing mystery stains from my white tank top.

One morning I woke up and a large portion of the blue in my tattoo was swollen and hurt like a bitch man, no idea whether it was bug bites, heat rash or if I picked something up in the ocean but it took three days to go down completely and then because I had no choice but to put polysporin on it which YES I know is BAD for tattoos but I had NO CHOICE I put my neck out sleeping on my left side so my arm wouldn’t touch the bed.

I got depressed pretty bad a day or two, I felt completely helpless wondering what the fuck I was doing off medication and how the fuck I actually thought I could do it because I felt like there was something wrong with me every fucking day and that I was ruining Adam’s vacation. It didn’t dawn on me to be paranoid about people we met hating me till we were getting off the plane and Adam and I discovered our luggage had not just been searched in front of us (which was TOTALLY FINE OF COURSE) but my spidey senses started to tingle when they did both zippers for both bags up in the center and I was saying to Adam OVER AND OVER fix those zippers put them back to the side. I KNEW what they were up to and I am kinda shocked the people that do the initial search before you check in were in on it but whatever as soon as those bags came off the baggage holder in Vancouver I KNEW the fuckers had been back through them and I was RIGHT that they intentionally did the zippers back up in the front for easy access. BOTH bags came off over HALF WAY OPEN and thankfully because we aren’t stupid everything valuable other than my 400 dollar dress [AS IF I paid that, I covet. It was 50% off man] were with us but the dress was buried and as Adam pointed out they were looking for electronics not dresses. But it just puts a whole different perspective on it when it happens to you and you aren’t watching hidden cameras catching staff searching traveler’s bags on 20/20 or some shit. I threw a mini fit which everyone saw so now I’m convinced they all hate me when really it was almost 11pm and they were probably tired or used to people trying to steal shit out of their bags. And really who the fuck cares other than Kelly and Dawn we’ll never see any of them again.
Kelly and Dawn are there another week so we are leaving them a message to inform them and I hate to do it because West Jet RULES but I have to let them know their baggage handlers on the other side are obvious thieves. At least close the bags fuck-wads. Today is the first day I have felt even close to normal enough to blog so I’ll call them and West Jet by Friday. The drugs the doctor gave me are working but my stomach is still killing me and I’m starving because these pills have strict ‘rules’ on when you can take them in relation to what you eat.

The rest of the photos will be viewable on Flickr with commentary soon.
I can’t see getting the laundry, dishes, thank you cards for the wedding etc etc etc- I’m like a wife now and shit- done till next week or this weekend till I feel better this is just TOOOOOOOOOOO reminiscent of February’s surgery for me ‘cept my ass wasn’t exploding- thank God I had that surgery or I can’t even imagine how much worse this would be.

[b]Turns out Mrs. E totally loves me again.[/b] WHO KNEW that all I had to do was tell her I was getting married?
I gave her the rent check with a cute little friendly ‘don’t murder me in my sleep’ note on it but please change the name on the buzzer to Carlson Liscumb ‘cause we be getting hitched this month. I am going to go with Carlson but mail will still come to Liscumb and changing it all over will take me forever I know it.
Don’t know why Carlson isn’t on there already seeing we’ve lived in here together for years. OH wait I remember Adam was living an incognito life on various stealth missions and therefore his name could not appear until now. Silly me.
I’m not sure how long this ‘new love’ will last but I still hate her stupid dumb cunt.

Last night we dug out the shit that came with our ‘getting married’ package from our Justice of the Peace lady and started to look at the vow choices.
Ummm well I didn’t need to do my sit ups yesterday the laughing had that covered. Getting all crier pants at other peoples weddings over traditional vows for me is a given vows are beautiful I love weddings but we seem to get the giggles if WE try to take the traditional vows seriously in relation to us for even a minute. I’ve only been to two weddings, holy I should do posts on BOTH those. I know one was traditional vows for sure can’t remember on the other.
We had decided or I guess I decided I DID NOT WANT TO WRITE MY OWN…but this doesn’t mean we aren’t going to write our own. HA
I’m not going to stand up there with some barely memorized I love yous and blah blah blahs when I’m already going to be crying and nervous and BRIDE LIKE!
None of the ring vows work for us either.
Looks like we WILL be writing our own and saying the same shit to each other just still repeated back to us both so I don’t forget what I’m supposed to saying.

For example instead of:

in sickness and in health

I LIKE:

in flower beds and grave beds

We were thinking we may also rip off SNL and just go as Nunni and Nunni. Although AS IF we’d NOT be original that was just a stupid bad joke.

[b]Both my ladies[/b] Sharapova and Clijsters went out at the Wimbledon semis which means I didn’t have to get up at 6:00 am for the finals today, a big thank you to Wimbledon for moving the finals back, getting up at 5:30 am was just plain silly. HA I found out last year when we got up for the second year in a row at 5:30am [although I’d of gotten up anyway] that Adam doesn’t even like tennis. I think I get the last laugh at that one.

Amelie Mauresmo from France WON, VIVE LA FRANCE! I do not follow Mauresmo as closely as some other players but I enjoy watching her play. I do however HAVE to get up tomorrow morning to watch what should be the match up of all match ups between Federer and Nadal with Federer coming off his sixth loss to Nadal the last one at the French Open just weeks ago. I have officially jumped on the Nadal band wagon that kid can play and although I never liked him at all before he really won me over kicking Federer’s ass at the French Open. Anyone who can pound my favorite male player like that gets my respect and I simply love the build up and rivalry continually growing between the two. They are both such incredibly sportsmanlike athletes and so well spoken it makes them both a pleasure to watch on and off the court.
I was not at all sad to see Roddick and Venus exit ‘cept that I would of liked to have seen them last a little longer.

This time of year brings so many sports to my TV the fact that I have problems leaving my apartment in general ceases to even matter when I have Tennis, Golf, and Le Tour De France to watch. It does however make me extremely thankful for good sports broadcasters. I am very picky with my commentators and enjoy the really stupid things they say but at this time of year I can only handle so much but still love it the most when one says something so stupid you get 10+ seconds of dead air while the rest of them figure out how to ‘move on’, like dude, you aren’t a comedian you’re a sports commentator. You are not funny. Unless of course you are Phil Liggett [Outdoor Life Network and Tour De France commentator] or David Feherty, [the best golf commentator EVER] John McEnroe [do I have to say he does Tennis here?] and Dottie Pepper [golf commentator]. These are only a few of my favorites but they make the rest that I want to murder bearable.

Not only will I be watching Federer and Nadal tomorrow morning I will be watching the World Cup final. The timing should be perfect and the Tennis SHOULD be ending as the Soccer is starting and then when the Soccer is ending the coverage of the Golf will resume. Will I cry if I miss the beginning of Italy vs France? FUCK NO! Will I cry if Federer or France loses? FUCK YEAH! Am I jumping on the World Cup band wagon? FUCK NO! I still hate soccer and agree FULLY with Paul and Raymi I could not have said it better than what those two covered in their posts. But what I do love is GOOD SPORTS and good PLAY and just because I don’t enjoy a particular sport on a regular basis and would NOT offer my life or an arm or something for it like I would in favor of the right price for Hockey, Golf or Tennis that does not mean I won’t leap up and scream the four sentences and twenty French words I know as loud as I can to piss off my landlord. If France were not in it I would probably just go back to bed but they are my sentimental favorite. I do find it rather funny that people who know I LOVE sports like I love my zits when they pop and hit the mirror would ask who I was going for in the WORLD CUP and I’d be like NO ONE I HATE THE WORLD CUP but I’m going for France, Germany and Italy. I think I may go into physic readings or some shit.

Last World Cup I was in Calgary visiting some rad friends I have there and one said rad friend has most graciously allowed me to post this photo. Thank you dude! I LOVE this photo!
In 2002 I cared about World Cup even less than I do now and I was dating an Italian Soccer fiend. Somehow my girlfriend and I who would of BOTH rather have been watching Wimbledon got sucked into staying up ALLLLLLLL night to watch the stupid early final that Italy was OUT of and he fell asleep ten minutes in. We had been going pretty hard party wise for a about a week at this point mind you. BUT STILL! At least tomorrow I get to watch some Tennis before I have to sit through soccer. [Adam IS a World Cup Fan]

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FRANCE!

[b]Dear Menstrual Cycle,[/b]

I hate you and I really don’t care if I’m supposed to LOVE YOU because you make me a woman and I can have babies and all that shit.

I know we’ve never gotten along well but I think you are starting to take some liberties. Is it fun for you to just GET WORSE as I get older? What is with the cramps now starting a full two days before you even arrive? Thanks for the warning but I liked the FUCK I HAVE CRAMPS go to pee, cunt is bleeding, stuff it, take drugs, whine, moan, roll around till the cramps subside and then change my tampon better than OHHHHH I have cramps that means my period is in TWO DAYS!

I’m already crazy, the pill makes me crazier and all you do is laugh I KNOW IT. You make me so angry I feel like I am going to explode and then you make me so emotional because someone I don’t even know just saved on their car insurance and I don’t even own a car.

I have prescription strength pills to fight your stupid cramps with and it really pisses me off when you won’t even let them work.

You don’t even care and then menopause. Lovely!

With NO sincerity,
Corinna’s Cunt

Yesterday I confessed during a three-way MSN conversation that I had not yet watched any play-off hockey. I also said DON’T TELL. But now I’m telling the internet.

INTERNET I HAVE NOT WATCHED A FULL PLAY-OFF GAME.

But then yesterday when it was finally announced that CRAWFORD got fired I decided it was time to get on this shit.

[FUCK I just got up to go PEE and discovered my STUPID tampon leaked ALL OVER my underwear…fucking not absorbent enough tampon. FUCK YOU and I have cramps TOO]

Back to MY post:

I’m in the loop; don’t get me wrong, I watch highlights. Like, PLLLEEASE, just because I’m still crying in the rain and am having ‘issues’ letting go of the utter humiliation regarding both of my teams NOT EVEN MAKING THE PLAY-OFFS I know what’s going on. I have ESPN.

I did decide I was GOING for Calgary though and was happy when we turned a game on last night and Calgary was pounding Anaheim.
In fact, I went on to say:

‘considering we didn’t win the gold, it would be nice to see a Canadian team win the cup

but

it wouldn’t be enough

it wouldn’t make it ok

but it’d make it something’

I guess this brings me back to Crawford. FUCKING STUPID MORONS firing him. I refuse to read ANYTHING on it because I have my own opinions and if they are wrong I don’t fucking care.
Look, I LOVE BERTUZZI anyone that reads here knows it anyone who knows me off my blog knows it…I think HE may even know it. But here is where I show even Bertuzzi that I may be his biggest fan but I have ALWAYS from DAY ONE said he was a liability waiting to happen and I am a HOCKEY FAN first. Even before Moore he was a shit disturber and not just in a Pronger or Tucker type way, you could just tell he was trouble.
The team needed a HARD CORE player shake up. They needed the shit scared out of them. Then they would have played. I DO feel he gave Bertuzzi WAY too many chances but Bertuzzi should have gone first, the Canucks have NOT been the same since Moore got flattened and getting rid of Crawford was fucking stupid. I mean just getting us a bloody goalie would of done us wonders.
Crawford’s record speaks for itself whether he made us winners or not and JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER TIME the Canucks let someone go or do something stupid they will pay…likely with the Stanley Cup being handed to the next team Crawford coaches.

You Are Bart Simpson

Very misunderstood, most people just dismiss you as “trouble.” Little do they know that you’re wise and well accomplished beyond your years. You will be remembered for: starring in your own TV show and saving the town from a comet Your life philosophy: “I don’t know why I did it, I don’t know why I enjoyed it, and I don’t know why I’ll do it again!”

stolen from raymi

I did this quiz your friends thing a few years a go when it went out over email between friends but it was much easier to make the questions let me tell you. [if you took that quiz this one is completely different!] Seems it hit the internet some time ago and I have stolen it from OS who stole it from etc. etc.

Take my quiz and I will love you forever. Or I guess taking the quiz shows how much you love ME.

Find my quiz HERE.

I was sitting there holding both my boobs rocking back and forth to [i]Elsewhere[/i] by Sarah McLachlan and Adam started to laugh, I started to chuckle….

“What? too Lilith Fair for you?”

1. We don’t have golf shoes.
2. Both of our Odyssey putters are worth more than our entire sets of clubs.
3. When we leave the Stanley Park Par Three Pitch and Putt we take our clubs on the bus. Once last year with Greenly it was right smack in the middle of the Folk Festival which we obviously didn’t know and all the patchouli lovers made mean faces at us and were not very PEACE like.
4. This year I have to find a ‘tube’ top to golf in because I CAN NOT HAVE ANY TAN LINES for the wedding OR I will DIE and have to go Bridezilla on EVERYONES ass. I think I’m going to have to get something silly printed on it like, SOON TO BE Mrs. Carlson [even though I’m keeping my name] and my dress is strapless, stop staring at me ASSHOLE. This way people won’t be like how come that sluty girl can golf so good?