unless they are of the athletic variety and match the sport i am participating in i will not wear shorts. until last summer it could be over 30 degrees and there i’d be in my pants. i fully agree with the women on the original british version of what not to wear: women + shorts = wrong.
i hate the heat. so much. it gives me a rash, it itches, i get sun stroke in like ten minutes and then i feel barfy. HELLO migraine. plus i sweat a lot. i hate BUTT sweat the most. yes i did ladies and gentlemen – i just said BUTT SWEAT in reference to myself. i started to get paranoid about my butt sweat penetrating my jeans, which in turn would make me sweat more. you can only imagine the trauma the summer heat causes me. THE TRAUMA.
last summer i decided that my legs couldn’t be that bad. they are rather chicken like. but one of my nike running shirts even says ‘i run therefore i am’. the shirt was obviously telling me it was ok to expose my legs because i run. never underestimate my ability to read between the lines people. i bought two skirts. they are short but when i sit down everything is covered. which almost brings me to the climax of this post. i also cut off a long jean skirt totally crooked but i wear it anyway- it is shorter in the back and barely (but does) cover the pertinent areas when i sit down. this year i added a plaid wanna be golf skirt – i say ‘wanna be’ cause it doesn’t have built in shorts. but again it is ‘safe’ to sit down in.
so here’s the deal. girls and women wear skirts a fuck lot shorter than mine. some only wear their vaginas with them and i simply can not get this out of my head. yesterday while walking up the street with adam i saw a girl with a skirt so short it wouldn’t even have covered half my ass. i almost went insane ranting. whilst praying she had some form of panties on.
we have all seen the photo of paris hilton getting out of her car legs akimbo naked pussy right there for the whole world to see. (i will not post it as a reminder because i do have limits) i worry every time i see these ladies in these skirts so short i am half drooling and half grossed out – how many chairs have i sat on that your skanky, sweaty, wet vagina has graced? not to mention your butt sweat. i walk around paranoid as paranoid can be that my ass is not covered and i wonder don’t all women worry about this? and i wear FULL ASS panties with my skirts i won’t even wear a thong if i have a short skirt on. if my vagina in a thong were to touch ANY chair or surface i’d freak.
i understand WHY women would not want to wear panties with skirts. trust me i get it. i just think when you really give it some thought it is seriously disgusting. EVEN if you have full butt panties on i still think it’s gross – the skirt should at least cover your entire private area when you sit. i take good care of my vagina it is important to me and i don’t want any part of your vagina/butt sweat anywhere near MY vagina. no offense. i am sure you all have lovely vaginas but please keep them covered if you are going to sit down and you only have your vagina on under your skirt.
**please note when i say ‘full butt’ it does not mean i support granny panties.