Archive for the 'ASS SURGERY' Category

Page 3 of 5

Published on August 22, 2006 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

I have this silly memory of the very first time I went home after I moved out. My parents still lived in Terrace for a while after I moved to Vancouver. I don�t even think I had lived in Vancouver that long in fact I was probably living in Dirty Burn [Burnaby, a suburb]. I know it was also the Thanksgiving long weekend though because John Denver died that weekend and it was really fucking trippy to all three of us that I just happened to be home when the artist that I had grown up listening to, saw live at three with Gordon Lightfoot at Canada�s Wonder Land and as an adult still love like he is still here had died and we just happened to be together when it happened, when he crashed his plane. Most people have no idea how much that man did for music and tried to do for music for the protection of freedom of speech for artists.

My Dad and I had this tradition that faded in and out depending on my age that we always went to movies together. The movie theatre in Terrace is the worst theater in the entire world. Ok fine so your feet stick to the floor but fuck it�s the seats, the worst seats EVER. I have no idea what movie it was but it was like less than a half and hour till it started and I was getting nervous and feeling anxiety and I was like Dad we gotta go man we gotta go we are going to be late what are you doing lets GO!!! He swiftly reminded me we were on northern time and we left five minutes before the movie started and made it on time drove there and everything didn�t even miss the previews. I bet you it is the Terrace movie theatre that is responsible for my having to have ass surgery.

Published on May 21, 2006 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

Published on April 30, 2006 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

I love that Spock looks rad dancing no matter what song is on. He rocks out so hard. I love him.

We played golf and we tied because Adam’s round sucked and mine was so so. I wore a different sock on each foot. On my left foot I had a Puma sock on and on my right foot I had a Nike sock on.
My allergies have kicked in and it sounds like I’m going to cough up an alien and people stare at me while I shoot and balloons are blowing up in my head so every time I miss a putt I just blame it on my allergies– bad shots too they are also the allergies’ fault. I take these Excedrin Migraine pills not available in Canada and a nasal spray that won’t fuck up my nostrils. Sarah sent me the Excedrin in a package from America that the government obviously thought was Anthrax because they opened it. But what I want to know is what if THEY poisoned it. HOW DO I KNOW THEY DIDN’T? I don’t. I seem fine but if I die suddenly check the Excedrin and blame customs.
There was a group of four German guys in front of us and one of them had a sheizer shot and I said SHEIZER NEINE quiet but they heard me and started to talk German to me and I just nodded and pretended I knew more than two words.

I watched The Weather Man again this morning because Michael Caine talking about Vaginas and Camel Toes is alright with me. And camel toes are tough. Not as tough as the Were Rabbit though. Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Were Rabbit is my favourite movie in the world right now. I screamed BUNNIES BUNNIES I LOVE BUNNIES a million times and made cute bunny like faces and I DON’T care that they are ultimate veg destroying machines. LET THEM EAT VEG!
I have also now decided that I AM going to make clay bunnies and this year everyone is getting clay bunnies for christmas OR clay monkeys. This does not mean I am going to stop making sock monkeys it just means I’m going to make BUNNIES! Maybe I will change my mind and make SOCK BUNNIES! This would likely be better than clay bunnies because clay bunnies could be messy. Also in Wallace and Gromit the clay bunnies are alive whereas I’ve never seen a sock monkey come to life so making sock bunnies may also be safer in the long run. I’ll let you know.

We don’t have to take our clothes off, to have a good time…

Published on April 25, 2006 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

Put your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question. Use the song title as the answer to the question. Post on your blog. Comment back if you post it on your site. No comment regarding whatever songs that might come up. Stolen from LOTS of bloggers.

Will I get far in life?
Time – Sarah McLachlan

How do my friends see me?
Sunrise – Simply Red

Where will I get married?
Come Fly With Me – Frank Sinatra

What is my best friend’s theme song?
Never Felt This Way – Alicia Keys

What is the story of my life?
Organ Donor – DJ Shadow

What was high school like?
Jesus is Just Alright with Me – Doobie Brothers

How can I get ahead in life?
Rock and Roll McDonalds – Wesley Willis

What is the best thing about me?
Hard to Explain – The Strokes

How is today going to be?
Blue – Joni Mitchell

What is in store for this weekend?
End of the Day – Beck

What song describes my parents?
I’m an Old Cowhand – Sons of the Pioneers, Roy Rogers

My grandparents?
We Rule the School – Belle and Sebastian

How is my life going?
Born to Kill – The Damned

What song will they play at my funeral?
Downtime – The Gandharvas

How does the world see me?
The Pocket Knife – PJ Harvey

Will I have a happy life?
Shadow Boxer – Fiona Apple

What do my friends really think of me?
Blue Moon – Nat King Cole

Do people secretly lust after me?
Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone – Bill Withers

How can I make myself happy?
I Want to Break Free – Queen

What should I do with my life?
Times They Are a Changing – Bob Dylan

Will I ever have children?
Shut Up – Black Eyed Peas

What is some good advice?
If I Fall You’re Going Down With Me – Dixie Chicks

What is my signature dancing song?
Bottle of Smoke – Pogues

What do I think my current theme song is?
On the Way Home – Buffalo Springfield

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
It Won’t Hurt – Dwight Yoakam

What type of men/women do you like?
Ocean Man – Ween