Archive for the 'Books, T.V. & Movies' Category

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AIR INDIA 182

In June of 1985 I was eight years old. I don’t even remember hearing about this attack ever, at all, until I came home from work in January 2003 and found a Juror Summons a (Criminal) one in my mailbox. At first I was excited as all get out. It was right up my alley something with all the crazy serial killer books I read I had pictured doing many a time in my head.

2002 didn’t end well, 2003 would be the year I started to see the shrink I still see today. I remember thinking that it was ‘just my luck’ as well that this would undoubtedly bring even more stress into my life before I even saw it:

You have been summonsed to appear as a jury panelist for a criminal trial, Regina vs. Malik, Bagri, and Reyat commonly referred to as the AIR INDIA TRIAL.
The date of jury selection is March 29, 2003.
Estimates of trial length run from TWENTY FOUR TO THIRTY SIX MONTHS.

my summons.

So then I thought HOLY FUCK what does this even mean? And when I told my work they agreed that is was ‘just my luck’ which was awkward and we all chuckled but none of us were laughing.

I headed straight upstairs to the internet and had reinforcements on the way over in the way of one best friend Hannah and we searched for information on it and back then it was harder to find and I got scared searching for information on it WHAT IF THEY KNEW?

I believe strongly in civic duty, but at the time, for a woman of twenty-five living alone and knowing that it had nothing to do with the books I’d read I just simply was not mentally sound enough to appear. In the ten days I had to send them back my Juror Certification Form, I spent it getting letters quoting a medical condition from my family Doctor and my work appointed in the mean time therapist. It wasn’t just my depression though it was also my headaches. There was just no way.

Just thinking about being on that jury scared the living shit out of me. This was when all the true crime novels flipped in my head from jury duty is cool to holy fuck who wants to be on this JURY ummm not ME or any (Criminal) juries talk about a romanticized wake up call, I’m into the darker side of life the macabre the tainted but JURY TAMPERING in neon blared in front of those twenty five year old eyes and I chose sanity.

In the end not only did it turn out to be one of the largest, if not the largest summons sent out here up until the Pickton case broke, even former Vancouver Canuck, Trevor Linden was summonsed. I’m pretty sure trying to at least make the playoffs was his way out of having to appear.  It did eventually go to a judge only trial. I don’t think I was the only one afraid of jury tampering.  Even knowing with all the people summonsed I probably wasn’t going to get picked with my luck I wasn’t about to take that chance, and with my request not to appear accepted I tried not to think about it, there were parts that were undeniably stressful and scary, about being called for THAT jury with our without a mental illness.

In all honesty I didn’t follow the trial but I remember being outraged at the verdict, all were found not guilty except for Reyat he plead guilty to manslaughter admitting to building the bomb used on the flight, he got five years and was denied parole in 2007.

report for jury duty.

Earlier in the week I watched the movie Air India 182, a documentary by award winning Canadian Film director Sturla Gunnarsson and was impressed but the whole thing was surreal a total mishmash of emotions when it hit me that I was eight years old, bloody EIGHT when this happened and then at twenty-five it showed up in my mailbox via the judicial system and here I was listening to the family members of the victims recount that day, seeing the pain on their faces and talk about it with little resolve given the outcome. Any thoughts of even possibly being in a court room at that time were not a nice place to picture.

On June 22, 1985 , Air India 182 left Montréal, bound for Delhi via London Heathrow. It never made it.

Four hours after takeoff, 200 miles off the Irish coast, a bomb ripped through the baggage compartment and the plane disintegrated at 30,000 feet, killing all 329 people on board. It was the world’s deadliest act of aviation terror before 9/11.

Now at thirty-one the movie frightened me, but not likely in entirely rational ways and so I highly recommend it. It was very moving, it was heart breaking and made me tremendously angry but it is done in an extremely tasteful manner. I don’t know it just makes me think about all the non fiction I read and all of the documentaries I watch and how there is always something in them that gives me that disconnect whether right or not, whether I donate to charity or not, and this movie didn’t have that for me. So I would have to say it scared me real.

a quote.

I like quotes a lot. I have two in my side bar the second I stole off someone I’m not friends with anymore so it probably doesn’t even count as stealing.

Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.  - Cyril Connolly

The first one I saw years ago after many a liberty had been taken with it when it appears at the very beginning of The Believer, a bloody fantastic movie.

I hate and I love. Why do I do this, you may ask? I do not know, but I feel it, and I am tortured.- Catullus

Today while reading through quotes on goodreads I came across this one by Marilyn Monroe that is SO ME I started to cry. It was too long for Twitter so I made it my Facebook status.

I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best. - Marilyn Monroe

I can’t remember the last time I took something so literally.

hashtag bullet post.

Sometimes I have a million and fourteen thoughts running through my head but I still feel like I have writers block. That is me right now except it is a million and forty four thoughts. I don’t feel like I could write a post on ONE THING and stick to that ONE THING. Where would I start?

  • Since finding out that my parents are getting divorced I have danced around in a bodysuit, dressed seriously bad, busted my mom out of Bali on a mostly covert mission starring stealth moves only, been given the best ever ‘no skanks allowed’, the long edition NOT the ‘clam slam’ robe from the airport in Denpasar Bali, ASIA to be exact. It is so huge I have been pretending I am a boxer whilst wearing it, #parentsdivorce scary YouTube video coming soon set to Eye of the Tiger, Survivor OR S&G The Boxer. I’m not SAD yet. I am mostly hyper.  It is easier to picture them apart than I thought it would be. Or it might be that my dad is sitting pretty in Bali probably ordering in Balinese whores and my mother is stuck in freezing cold Toronto with her mother. Who knows? AND I cut my hair AND I have been eating A LOT of peanut butter cookies. OH and I have been smoking joints like they are cigarettes. Note to self = must for serious stop that last part. BUT almost everyone I have told that to has said I WOULD BE TOO, so it makes it harder to stop.

worst outfit ever. i win.

the boxer.

press my head.

  • I read The Reader, Bernhard Schlink in some ridiculously fast amount of time that made me feel like a fast reader for the duration of the book, my eyes flew across the prose so beautiful that when I compare it to other novels I have loved before I am reminded of The Road, Cormac McCarthy and how it not only remains one of my favourite books but it left me wanting more, and I love a book that I can praise for many a reason, but it leaving me wanting more is probably up there with my favourite things about stories and their inescapable endings.  I am looking forward to writing more Books vs Movie posts.
  • Although in all reality the computer being as broken as it is SUCKS the ONLY good thing is that the Media Player is also broken so it isn’t counting how many times I have listened to the new Neko Case album Middle Cyclone. I am seriously thinking over one hundred times by now because I don’t just know the words I know the correct words to the songs. See, I have Scrobbling enabled on Last.fm most of the time and I already have a gross disparity between Neko Case number of listens = 4,618 and Tool coming in a distant second = 1,020 and I’ve been listening to Tool since 1996, kinda freaky in a freaky way that the Neko count is actually low but that brings me to my review, which I can write very quickly for you right here in two words: FUCKING AWESOME. Waiting with a “glacier’s patience” for it paid off.  We have tickets for the June show already but I messed up and bought the tickets in American dollars and I haven’t told Adam, hey babe, sorry bout that, see you on the couch. But we would rather give the money to things set up by her people anyway.

The Pharaohs - good song.

  • I was randomly thinking how I like being able to look at a photo of myself that you can see my arms in and know what year it was taken in from the tattoos. I also haven’t been able to stop thinking about getting a new tattoo; I mean this is a HUGE life change. #parentsdivorce
  • I wasn’t going to mention this but I will because not only do I enjoy laughing at myself sometimes annoying my own self can have the same affect. So like, more than two point five years ago when I joined Twitter I had it running through my Facebook as my status updates right like that is nothing new people do it, but I stopped because I go through phases like NOW (give me a break please my parents are GETTING A  D.I.V.O.R.C.E, Tammy Wynette style, #parentsdivorce) where I talk a lot and didn’t want to annoy people, but now that Facebook is trying to become Twitter, I do now again have my status updates running through there because that is what they want right? They want Twitter; I’ll give em Twitter alright. Currently listening to Neko Case.
  • All I will say right now is that it is really ODD to be almost 32 years old [LESS than three months away] and have parents married more than 39 years going their separate ways #parentsdivorce. We have all gone to our corners, I haven’t heard from my mom since she left for YYZ and I haven’t heard from my dad in a few weeks now.  I’m still set on marinate, information overload, over stimulation, snap dragon mode.

NERD ALERT x The Notebook

So OMG I was just at Blockbuster because no I don’t get Netflix off my Xbox we only have a silver membership and shit and I was renting my regular new release I’m obsessed have to be there on release day BS and I was about to leave with my picks and then I saw it on the table I dove like a dove to grab it, caressed it, inspected it, read it, called my husband and said,”Hi baby wanna buy me a present that costs $24.99?” *insert seriously silly giggle*

He said yes and I didn’t tell him what it was he said it was ok to keep it a secret until he gets home and it is THIS:

THE NOTEBOOK LIMITED EDITION BOXSET WITH TWO BOOKMARKS YAY!
*plus other really cool silly giggle I love The Notebook stuff*

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Adam’s favourite part is when Jimmy Garner cries.

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AND it is true, behind every great love is a great story.