Archive for the 'Ellen DeGeneres' Category

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Published on February 19, 2007 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

Almost everyone in British Columbia that I know is sick. These viruses are getting really insane. I have been sick since last Thursday evening when my throat got scratchy. Adam has been sick since last Wednesday. I picked it up from him fast. Normally I just get the beginnings of things take some Vitamin C and it’s gone, other than having almost daily headaches that can become debilitating with little or no notice, I hardly ever get SICK, sick.

THIS virus is SO FUN because it starts with the flu and NOW we have full blown head colds. AWESOME. My fever was so high Adam had to go out and get a thermometer so we could monitor it; it was into the 100′s. Even Gus is barfing. The other night I was so uncomfortable and my body hurt so badly I was convinced I had RLS [Restless Leg Syndrome] until I remembered that only people on TV get it and that I don’t have enough room in my life right now for anymore ‘syndromes’ or ‘disorders’.

The worst thing about this stupid flu/cold other than the fever, sore joints and muscles, wet cough, then dry cough, sore throat, sore ears, ridiculous headache, and all the snot AND the watery red eyes [the watery eyes just set in today but they were already red and hurt to open] WE CAN’T SLEEP. Until the full head cold kicked in and the flu part started to get better neither of us could sleep. Talk about frustrating, all I want to do when I’m sick is sleep. Finally, last night I was able to sleep until I woke hacking up a lung at 5:30am and I get up around 7am so I was not complaining after the previous nights in hell. Not being able to play Guitar Hero is so lame I’m not even going to discuss it because I have 14 songs open on hard now. I am in awe of Riss who left a comment saying she battles on EXPERT. HOLY. [IF you are a 24 fan she writes the best after show comments EVER]

AND I get dinged $140.00 by my therapist for missing last Friday’s session because I didn’t cancel in time. SWEET.

As mentioned, coming Thursday:

Published on February 13, 2007 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

As anyone who watches Ellen should know Oprah is going to be on Ellen. I don’t particularly like Oprah and I never ever ever thought Oprah would be on Ellen. I don’t even get it. I don’t know what they will even talk about. I keep running it over and over in my head trying to picture it.

Ellen announcing her: “Now please welcome my next guest – you may remember her from the 11 time academy award nominated The Color Purple which won none of the Oscars, Oprah Winfrey. Also seen in Beloved.”

Oprah enters pulling of Krumping moves that would make Tyra Banks proud to the tune of I’m Coming Out Diana Ross. The camera pans in on Gayle in the audience as Oprah takes her seat and blows her a little kiss. Oops I mean blows the audience a kiss.

Ellen: “I did think The Color Purple was a great movie by the way but because I am hosting the Oscars that is all I can say on that.”

Oprah: “I thought I was here to talk about Va-Jayjays?”

Ellen: “And all this time I envisioned you’d call it your Rainbow Snapper.”

Oprah: “AH haha NO. It’s Va-Jayjay.” Giggles and glances uncomfortably at Gayle. “Stedman prefers that to Vagina, or ‘Snapper’ was it you said Ellen?”

Ellen: “Snapper is a Gus Greeper thing. I just have a regular old vagina. Well not old but normal, a vagina. Ok. Lets move on.”

“After the Break we’ll be back to argue, I mean talk about not being pissed off at who has the coolest guests booked if they win at the Oscars for our live Oscar specials.”

I can’t dance anyway

Published on January 22, 2007 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

On one of the Detroit stations I watch Ellen is now on at 7am so I can watch it while I am making Adam’s lunch. I can’t laugh as loud or dance as vigorously but I can watch it again at 11am or 5pm so seriously no worries if I get a bit distracted and miss some.

Yesterday my neck hurt all day long and I could not turn it left at all. Today it feels fine. My bad neck is from car accidents that were NOT my fault and so I never really know what puts it or my back out all I know for sure is that my headaches LOVE IT they go off the charts.

I got a hair cut last week but it looks the same just neater. Adam didn’t even notice. It caused my first moment of fear in our marriage. Only five months and he doesn’t notice my HAIR?????????????????? What’s next he forgets our 6 month anniversary????

Ps. YAY Hillary for 2008. DO IT UP!

Published on October 24, 2006 by Corinna Carlson | 0 Comments

[b]I woke up one morning and a girlfriend[/b] had her MSN name set to �OFF TO BELLINGHAM�. Took a while to dawn on me that was America because I knew I needed stuff and knew there was a reason the word BELLINGHAM was screaming at me. But then I remembered and tripped and fell searching for my phone and I banged my shin and I called with a rushed �WHERE ARE YOU�!!!!! She was still here. �cool man can you grab me the biggest bottle of Excedrin Migraine you can find and ummm do they have Target there I NEED Ellen DVD-licious! I can not live without it, please�.

I got a 230 bottle of Excedrin Migraine; sweet bring on the ulcer yet such fantastic headache relief. A person sending me over the Excedrin is great thank you so much but I really don�t like the whole customs opening it thing. These are good through 2009 and I remember I bought a bottle only slightly bigger than this in Las Vegas years ago and it lasted me forever. That is a blatant lie if it lasted me forever I�d still have it and would not have to beg everyone I know to bring me back bottles from America like it is crack or some shit with the way I fear the bottle even getting empty.

I�m not going to lie to you. I had extremely high expectations for the Ellen DVD-licious! I also feel my expectations were well within limits it was being sold exclusively to one store instantly adding to its appeal and demand. I don�t like saying bad things about Ellen you may remember I had a very hard time with the �Little Snow� incident.

The DVDs are not BAD they are just lame. Still entertaining just a waste of a second DVD everything would have easily have fit on one. There is NO dancing. There is NO Tony. Are you kidding me? Do you have ANY idea how much I MISS Tony I could not wait for the Tony highlights. NONE. NO audience dancing either ONLY some of the funniest shit on earth. Some of my favorite moments include Snoop Dog doing gang symbols any time Allison Janney or Lauren Graham are on and I�ve never watched either of their shows, when she went golfing with Ray Romano and Brad Garrett the fact she hardly ever edits out the bloopers, pretty much every time she has a comedian on and OF COURSE BIG GIN! When Justin Timberlake came out of that Ginger Bread Man I still haven�t officially gotten over how awesome that was and have wanted to dance as a glass of milk since. Snoop Dog did not make DVD-licious but that is ok because neither did Little Snow who SHOULD HAVE BEEN SNOOP DOG!!!

The DVDs are funny as claimed on the cover �funniest moments from the first three years� BUT it is ONLY 104 mins. Her stand up DVD �Here and Now� is 60 minutes. That is one stand up act this is THREE seasons it should have been a minimum of two hours. It left me feeling so empty I�m almost tempted to put it back in to make sure I didn�t miss anything but I am sure I did not. I can�t figure out why it is on two DVDs it makes me wonder if I got a bunk copy. And of course the kid she put on there from Canada is a total brat. Thank you. Why I take that personally I don�t know.

I don�t want my money back I�d still watch it again it is just stupid I only get to dance for the whole 30 seconds the JT part is on and Tony was just so awesome on there I can�t believe there is no highlight of banter between them basically I should have been sought out to make it LICIOUS it is Ellen and it is a DVD but there is NO LICIOUS.