Archive for the 'Reviews' Category

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Part Empat: Around the Villa and Other Stories

I changed my mind and instead of doing more favourite photos in this Bali 2009 post I thought that I would take you around the Villa and although we went out sight seeing a lot home is where the heart is and cool stuff happened there.

the Liscumb's.

My parents have had this sign for ages it existed when my name was still my maiden name Liscumb. I am pretty sure I even asked my dad the exact story from the sign while I was in Bali but I was on vacation brain and I have no idea. It has been repainted since it was on the green fence that held my dad’s old horse in Prince George. The weather there did a number on it. I never lived in Prince George so we must have had it in Terrace too.

view from front.

This is the view from the back of the house from the top storey patio.  That mountain there that you can barely see was very hard to capture.  I made many a mental note to get a photo when it was more visible and I forgot and never did. Things like that made the place feel more real because I was able to say to myself fuck it, you can get it on the next trip.

That patio is also where the Monday massages took place. Just had to call up the woman and let her know that there would be three of us. I got there on a Monday night so I missed that day’s massage but still got two in while there. Decent massage, little different from anything I’d experienced before, I’ve had full body massages but never had it include a full butt massage as in those hands slipped into my crack on way more than one occasion.

This is the front of the house from the steps leading from the beach to this wee gate. Before I had seen the house in person I had a really hard time guessing and even picturing how my parents told me it was set up, for some reason I had only seen photos from this angle.

Facing this way on the left is the office and a bathroom and the outside sitting area, on the right is the kitchen and the kitchen eating area.  You do most of your living there outdoors.  My dad asked me after I’d been there for a decent bit how I liked living outside. I remember saying I honestly hadn’t really noticed but loved it, probably from camping so much from such a young age and spending so much time outside as a kid it just seemed natural for me to slip right into.

living area from upstairs.

I noticed while pulling the above photo for the post that a cup of MY kopi is in this photo, I had mentioned in my last Bali post – Part Tiga that none existed which I have discovered was an unintentional lie.

selamat pagi.

Selamat pagi – which means good morning, as I’m about to swig from my water bottle. I’m wearing what I slept in here so I know that it’s still morning.

I read a decent amount while I was gone, I never ever read as many books on vacation as I think I will BUT I would still bring the same amount of books plus my eBook because no matter where I am I want a variety of books to choose from which is partly what makes having an eBook so awesome, although I don’t use it much I know I will because I will eventually have to face that not cutting down on weight for trips to Bali just to be able to have a copy of a book is pretty silly. But right now I don’t feel like that.

reading outside living room.

While gone I finished Rant - Chuck Palahniuk, started and read Still Alice - Lisa Genova, Blindness – Jose Saramago, When You Are Engulfed in Flames - David Sedaris and started The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood.  I enjoyed them all, although Still Alice has me convinced that I have early onset Alzheimer’s, for real, not being an asshole. And it was sort of interesting being around a bunch of rabid anjings and kucings [dogs and cats] having just finished Palahniuk’s, Rant.

eating area & kitchen

One night I went to walk into the kitchen to get a drink of water or a bir IN THE DARK and a gecko fell off something from my opening the door and hit me in the face. I screamed like a pussy of course, it scurried off my forehead and I watched it run along well away from me. That was my only negative encounter with any lizards, although they are there and they are big, not tiny wee friendly looking things like the geckos, fucking lizards and I HATE lizards. I only saw one decent size so lets say medium lizard, thank fucking gawd.

Early evening here barbecue is being used for dinner, I can see the cover is off. Super bloody awesome cool thing about this time of day is the changeover between the birds swooping all over and catching bugs to the bats coming out and fucking annihilating the bugs. People ask me about the bugs, and there were a lot of flies, spiders, red ants, moths and mosquitoes but I was there during the windy season and so therefore the bugs for the most part kept off me.  I did have a few choice bites though, couple huge ones on my ass. I have never understood what it is with bugs and biting ass, but I always seem to get the biggest bites there.  And as mentioned right at the moment when evening meets night, you don’t even notice the changeover they look almost exactly the same as the birds, but the bats come out for the hunt and really they are your best friend if you want to sit outside as I am likely doing here it is fascinating watching them, trying to catch the birds accepting that their shift is finished as the bats suddenly emerge.  This is also why I FLIPPED when I opened the kitchen door as I wasn’t immediately sure if a bat was swooping by me or if it was a gecko.

out cold.

and out cold again same day.

So, I’m not the best sleeper in the world, unless it is a bed fat chance that I will fall asleep in it around it on it, planes can suck it I hate them I almost NEVER get any sleep.  This day however, it was my third day there I think, I can’t have been there long because I am reading Rant I fell asleep not once but TWICE. UNHEARD OF. My dad caught me sleeping on camera so I can remind myself that I was able to get myself into a relaxed enough place for that to have happened. Adam gave me grief over falling asleep in the sun to which I quickly informed him that not only had I waited the PROPER amount of time before entering the sun after applying my sun screen, I also had a my stop watch next to my head to go off AND my parents also woke me because I told them how long I was doing my front for. SO THERE.

vegas stole my sun goggles.

Basically Dr. Vegas stole my tanning googles and I’m stuck in sun glasses. Not cool little buddy, those will give me tan lines. I wore my contacts every day I was there because it was so bright that my glasses were useless. We have to make Dr. Fever some swim trunks and matching ones for Vegas because Fever is still wearing his country western cowboy hat from his days back in northern British Columbia.

carb in the pool.

CRAB IN THE POOL!

dr. fever & dr. vegas.

They hung out together a lot, they are brothers and both doctors – they have a lot to talk about. My mom commented on how much more worn Dr. V is than Dr. F and I was all dude, Vegas gets around, he travels, he goes to concerts, parties, weddings, he hangs with the ladies and he is with the band I don’t know what band but there’s a BAND and he’s WITH IT.

gazebo.

The gazebo is another awesome place to sit and read.

sunset.

And watch the sun set from.

fishing boats.

This photo falls under my favourite photos, I am photographing the lights from the fishing boats. Mine didn’t turn out, I suck in that lighting. The fishing boats are tiny seriously tiny outriggers. I will cover those in another post.

dad upstairs.

This is the only photo I took inside up stairs, that is primarily what my dad wears every day, retirement is so seriously hard as you can TELL. The windows in the far right there open to the front patio where you can watch the sunrise in the morning and watch the fishing boats come in.

my/our room.

our bedroom plus on-suite.

These are our diggs when we go visit, my bathroom had no mirror while I was there but I didn’t mind, I can go a while and not need a mirror, for serious. If the trip hadn’t have been a surprise my dad would have put a mirror in for me but he couldn’t do little things like that, everything had to be HUSH HUSH HUSH don’t do ANYTHING to that bedroom because my mom is snoopy, really aren’t all moms though?

One morning near the end of the trip I was sitting cross legged on the bed text messaging Adam and I had JUST pressed send when my bed started to tremble and shake or more like slide back and forth, took me about as long as it did during the earth quake in Vancouver for it to dawn on me that it was in fact an earth quake. I yelled up stairs “don’t you feel that?”, it rumbled a bit more and stopped. It hit Kuta about 100 kilometers from us. Wasn’t one of the ones that caused major damage around that time in September but still, that only means the people in Kuta were lucky that day.

indoor downstairs sitting room.

As I mentioned windy season, my dad has a shirt on so it was one of the cooler days, again with the kopi mug I see it, the afternoon cup o’ kopi I am now an unintentional two time liar. Oh right this is the ONE day it stormed, if you look out the doors you can see the seats from the sitting area pressed together and against the wall, the storm wasn’t long but it was EPIC. And if you look really closely you can see some water on the tile.  I wasn’t really sure about the tile when I got there because generally I do not like being barefoot anywhere and I was worried they’d be slippery. Best tiles ever, who needs shoes, that is all I have to say about those tiles and that it was a delight for the first time really in my life to be shoeless everywhere around the house.

cock in the yard.

cock.

Almost every afternoon anytime after fifteen hundred hours cocks come into my parents yard and help my dad with his gardens, they clean out the bugs, it is a sight to see. I don’t know why they go by cock there instead of rooster but they do and you can talk about cocks all day long. COCK COCK COCK. They are not like farm cocks or any cocks I’m used to, for example I DO NOT remember them being so vociferous in the Cook Islands where I did not stay at a resort, they were all over our house I have loads of film photos of them. The cocks in Bali NEVER SHUT UP.  They must really like the chicks and warring over territory.  I call this cock the cock dwarfer.

That concludes Part Empat. Catch up on the Bali 2009 series here: Part Satu, Part Dua and Part Tiga.

AIR INDIA 182

In June of 1985 I was eight years old. I don’t even remember hearing about this attack ever, at all, until I came home from work in January 2003 and found a Juror Summons a (Criminal) one in my mailbox. At first I was excited as all get out. It was right up my alley something with all the crazy serial killer books I read I had pictured doing many a time in my head.

2002 didn’t end well, 2003 would be the year I started to see the shrink I still see today. I remember thinking that it was ‘just my luck’ as well that this would undoubtedly bring even more stress into my life before I even saw it:

You have been summonsed to appear as a jury panelist for a criminal trial, Regina vs. Malik, Bagri, and Reyat commonly referred to as the AIR INDIA TRIAL.
The date of jury selection is March 29, 2003.
Estimates of trial length run from TWENTY FOUR TO THIRTY SIX MONTHS.

my summons.

So then I thought HOLY FUCK what does this even mean? And when I told my work they agreed that is was ‘just my luck’ which was awkward and we all chuckled but none of us were laughing.

I headed straight upstairs to the internet and had reinforcements on the way over in the way of one best friend Hannah and we searched for information on it and back then it was harder to find and I got scared searching for information on it WHAT IF THEY KNEW?

I believe strongly in civic duty, but at the time, for a woman of twenty-five living alone and knowing that it had nothing to do with the books I’d read I just simply was not mentally sound enough to appear. In the ten days I had to send them back my Juror Certification Form, I spent it getting letters quoting a medical condition from my family Doctor and my work appointed in the mean time therapist. It wasn’t just my depression though it was also my headaches. There was just no way.

Just thinking about being on that jury scared the living shit out of me. This was when all the true crime novels flipped in my head from jury duty is cool to holy fuck who wants to be on this JURY ummm not ME or any (Criminal) juries talk about a romanticized wake up call, I’m into the darker side of life the macabre the tainted but JURY TAMPERING in neon blared in front of those twenty five year old eyes and I chose sanity.

In the end not only did it turn out to be one of the largest, if not the largest summons sent out here up until the Pickton case broke, even former Vancouver Canuck, Trevor Linden was summonsed. I’m pretty sure trying to at least make the playoffs was his way out of having to appear.  It did eventually go to a judge only trial. I don’t think I was the only one afraid of jury tampering.  Even knowing with all the people summonsed I probably wasn’t going to get picked with my luck I wasn’t about to take that chance, and with my request not to appear accepted I tried not to think about it, there were parts that were undeniably stressful and scary, about being called for THAT jury with our without a mental illness.

In all honesty I didn’t follow the trial but I remember being outraged at the verdict, all were found not guilty except for Reyat he plead guilty to manslaughter admitting to building the bomb used on the flight, he got five years and was denied parole in 2007.

report for jury duty.

Earlier in the week I watched the movie Air India 182, a documentary by award winning Canadian Film director Sturla Gunnarsson and was impressed but the whole thing was surreal a total mishmash of emotions when it hit me that I was eight years old, bloody EIGHT when this happened and then at twenty-five it showed up in my mailbox via the judicial system and here I was listening to the family members of the victims recount that day, seeing the pain on their faces and talk about it with little resolve given the outcome. Any thoughts of even possibly being in a court room at that time were not a nice place to picture.

On June 22, 1985 , Air India 182 left Montréal, bound for Delhi via London Heathrow. It never made it.

Four hours after takeoff, 200 miles off the Irish coast, a bomb ripped through the baggage compartment and the plane disintegrated at 30,000 feet, killing all 329 people on board. It was the world’s deadliest act of aviation terror before 9/11.

Now at thirty-one the movie frightened me, but not likely in entirely rational ways and so I highly recommend it. It was very moving, it was heart breaking and made me tremendously angry but it is done in an extremely tasteful manner. I don’t know it just makes me think about all the non fiction I read and all of the documentaries I watch and how there is always something in them that gives me that disconnect whether right or not, whether I donate to charity or not, and this movie didn’t have that for me. So I would have to say it scared me real.

Great Books, Great Women

Around the end of last year I was invited to join a new book club, after the debacle that was the last book club I was in and how negative of a feeling it left me with, a feeling that followed and haunted me for too long, mainly because I loved being in a book club but I now recognize that particular one was simply not the right fit for me.

book club december.

When I read back over the post I wrote on being kicked out of the previous club I’m rather disgusted with myself due to my negativity, anger and hostility.  It is comforting to know that I was a completely different person back then, I’m also glad the comments are gone, from my botched move to WordPress because it had some very true comments about my attitude although I’m not embarrassed to say I still agree with most of what I wrote it just could have been written a hell of a lot better.  This also brings me back to my work on changes in perspective and myself in general, I’m not proud that I used to be THAT big a of a bitch, unfortunately I was then mind you, but I’m content that I can read it over and see the sadness, the hurt, the place I was coming from and as I did and am continuing to do, I’m learning from it.

The new club is great although there is still structure, we all read the same book, we all bring food related to the book when possible and wine for some, this book club is so much more laid back, I don’t feel like I’m in some classroom.  In my last book club there was a test on every book and prizes NO talking about the book in any way shape or form until book club which I personally still stick to but I don’t care if others don’t, to each their own but believe it or not I can actually keep my lips sealed for six weeks waiting for the next book club meeting.

my side.

Since I joined there have been four books read and I have made two meetings, one I missed because I was away and one I missed because I let some personal shit going on at the time get to me and I couldn’t leave my house.

So far we have read and discussed:

  • The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets by Eva Rice – I LOVED this book, and highly recommend it although it does contain more than one editing error it is still worth the read.
  • Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez – this is the only book so far I have not read I was in Ontario for the meeting.
  • The Condition by Jennifer Haigh – This was my pick and I missed the meeting, but still finished the book, I did enjoy it although it dragged in places but over all I would recommend it.
  • Disgrace by J.M. CoetzeeThis book made me realize how awesome this book club really is the content of this novel was heavy set in post-apartheid South Africa it deals with violence in many layers just when you think it can’t get worse it does, the central character a cynical middle aged snotty academic who seemingly doesn’t even know what the word change means must find away out of his darkness, out of his disgrace.

Although the content was heavy and we all had strong opinions they were all heard and we had a great talk, as mentioned in the post on my old book club most of the ladies would not even read the book I picked because it was too scary for them. It was a fictional novel for crying out loud; this book although still fiction is not far off what really went on in South Africa or rather still goes on.  I can’t be happier to have found an open minded bunch of ladies to discuss real issues with whilst enjoying BOOKS!

books.

Next up is Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer.  That is all I will say on that although I do love having Adam to bounce stuff off of now and I read out passages I love or loathe to him and even though I did say I wouldn’t join another book club without men in it I’ve realized that I don’t need to be in a book club with men [not saying I'd mind] I simply needed to open up my mind and go with it.  I am still always going to leave meetings worried I’ve spoken too much, interrupted too much, gotten too personal in regards to how the book relates to my life but these things are normal to my person and my own inner struggles, I do waste a lot of energy on negative attentional bias and allow it to stress me out, but I am not letting it torture me like I used to instead I just keep on reading.

The Year in Books

Totally didn’t even make my minimum reading quota for this year.  I blame this on having one and a half break downs. The half one, I guess I’ll call it a mini break; I’m still having, YAY for break downs!

I’m only going to finish twenty-one books this year I’m supposed to read at least twenty-four.

self portrait #reading

Yesterday I had an epiphany thinking of sneaky ways I could pull off three more books in under two days, I’ve never really been able to decide when people ask me what super power I want because they all sound pretty cool and all but call me crazy I have decided I want to be able to speed read. How is this even a super power? Easy, I could also work undercover for anyone who needed it reading documents and intelligence super fast helping catch serial killers and environmental terrorists and those other freaky terrorists. I’d even get to be on Heroes Season Five.  Not to mention I could read 100′s of books a year. I am so sinfully jealous of fast readers.

There is one exception to what will be the final count. Adam agrees with me that technically I should get one extra credit for The Turn of the Screw, Henry James.  I did not finish this book but I attempted to read it twice, I read the first sixty-three pages two times. That would put me at twenty-two.

These are the books I did read.

1. Animal Farm, George Orwell
2. The Time Traveler’s Wife, Audrey Niffenegger
3. Dry, Augusten Burroughs
4. The Last Days of Socrates, Plato
5. The Undomestic Goddess, Sophie Kinsella
6. Tori Amos Piece by Piece, Tori Amos and Anne Powers
7. Me Talk Pretty One Day, David Sedaris
8. Fugitive Pieces, Anne Michaels
9. The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger
10. Under the Skin, Michel Faber
11. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, David Sedaris
12. sTORI telling, Tori Spelling w/Hilary Liftin
13. On Chesil Beach, Ian McEwan
14. A Wolf at the Table, Augusten Burroughs
15. Snuff, Chuck Palahniuk
16. The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets, Eva Rice
17. The Definitive Edition, The Diary of a Young Girl, Anne Frank
18. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
19. Stiff, The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers, Mary Roach
20. The Almost Moon, Alice Sebold
21. The Condition, Jennifer Haigh

reading right now

In July I did a mass review that covered a random selection of books on the above list, my review of The Time Traveler’s Wife, Audrey Niffenegger appeared in the zine Estella’s Revenge and I did a full on review of my Sony eBook as well as the book Stiff, Mary Roach because it was probably the number one book of the year. Because of that book I just recently discovered having watched it twice over this horrid holiday season that the scene in Love Actually where Liam Neeson HAS to play, at his late wife’s funeral,  the montage of photos set to the Bay City Rollers version of Bye Bye Baby (Baby Goodbye) now bugs me A LOT.  Both times I yelled at the TV.  I still seriously love that movie; that particular book just happened to change my life.

I am really looking forward to what books 2009 brings, I’m back in a book club which I love, I’ve missed two meetings but I’ve still read two of the three books read by the group since joining and have the book for the next meeting in my reading pile.

Just a couple of books that I already have in my possession that I hope to read next year are;

Disgrace, J.M. Coetzee
Middlesex, Jeffrey Eugenides
The Corrections, Jonathan Franzen
The Gum Thief, Douglas Coupland
Attachment, John Bowlby
The Hour I First Believed, Wally Lamb
Rant, Chuck Palahniuk

I am particularly eager to start The Hour I First Believed I read that it apparently references his other two books, She’s Come Undone and I Know This Much is True; I can’t wait to see how those characters play into the eight hundred page book that is ninety six pages shorter than his last book.

saturday morning.

I did not like Fugitive Pieces, Anne Michaels, seriously stick to poetry please. Under the Skin, Michel Faber was horrid, I read it because I found it on the 1001 books to read before you die list and I already owned it and I can not for the life of me figure out WHY it is on that list, maybe to free up bed space in hospitals? I also despised YES DESPISED The Time Traveler’s Wife. But I’ve bashed it enough this year.  The rest I would highly recommend. Other than Stiff if I had to pick a favourite this year it would have to be Tori Amos Piece by Piece, Tori Amos and Anne Powers and Snuff, Chuck Palahniuk which equals three favourites because I can’t pick one of anything except one Adam Bradley Carlson.

Please feel free to leave your favourite reads of 2008 in the comments because I am always looking for great new reads.