Archive for the 'Rhonda' Category

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OMG they are so gorgeous

Oh what I forgot to mention that I’m going to the New Kids on the Block concert on Friday? The love I have for my friends holds no bounds. Rhonda gets here on Wednesday she has a five star V.I.P ticket and I’m fifth row.  This is going to be one of those life experiences I’m sure.

I am not a fan. Not.At.All.

C.J and I were talking over email as we often do, here is an excerpt.

Me to C.J:

so umm can you believe i am going to the new kids concert! that is how much i love rhonda. holy shit i will NOT be able to stop laughing. taking 100 pairs of ear plugs. im seriously afraid that the place will smell like wet pussy from all the riled up ladies. ew gross times 900.

C.J back to me:

You are talking to a man that got swept into a Robbie Williams Concert on a wave of Estrogen. 95% of ALL un-planned births (Actually both pregnancies and births) are because of New Kids concerts. Please please please play it safe. Tape it up before you leave the flat. It’s the safest way. be it Sello, Gaffa or Duct….. tape it up before your journey.

Good thing Adam had that there vasectomy.

On being away.

 It is officially official: I suck at being away from home.  The last time I even went away anywhere this long was when my dad was dying but then wasn’t dying but I was already booked for two weeks so I went for two weeks.   Normally I can’t even go home to my parents place for very long something will piss me off or I will miss Adam and change my ticket.  Vacation like sun spots I have done max two weeks. One week is barely enough and two weeks is just about too much but is doable.

Even though my ultimate dream is to live in the opening scene from Love Actually and have someone sweep me off my feet and make-out with Adam for five minutes with extreme head turning and exaggerated everything while the poor bastards with no one to pick them up stare and dream that they too can have what I have. But in reality I am a raging bitch when I get off a plane in YVR and my destination is home. I used to despise being that lonely soul with no one to pick me up but now I just want off the fucking plane and I want my luggage NOW and I want in a cab and I don’t want to talk to you I want my HOME and my CAT and my stuff and the way my apartment smells and I want to be alone.

When I was just seventeen years old based on my looks I got a job at a hotel in butt fuck no where half way between Golden and Revelstoke.  I didn’t even last a week. I quit and then they fired me which I know makes about as much sense reading that as it did when it was happening.  And the guy that runs the place is a sadistic ass who threw me out and many others over the years and made us sit across the street outside the gas station waiting for the bus that came once a day.

My parents were really mad at me and I was a failure and it was put on top of the ‘Corinna quits everything’ pile.  I have always resented that pile and it makes it easier for me to quit things.  To me it would be different if as a kid I were able to have tried things that I asked to try like singing and dancing the stuff I showed an interest in. Big deal I quit and failed at a bunch of shit I never wanted to do in the first place.  The areas I excelled in naturally I was not nurtured, or believed in or coached in on any sort of scale that was positive.  I was instead considered a problem child.

I don’t like being away from home to the point that I have issues just going over to friends places, I tie it in with my social anxiety and do my best to have people over to my place.  I don’t even like being bare foot in other people’s places.  It feels icky to me. I did not spend the night at Adam’s place even one time before we moved in together.  These are my issues I don’t think any of my friends or acquaintances places that I have been to are unclean.

With all that said, I am cutting my trip short and will be home this week.  I am pretty pissed off at myself to be honest because I was doing okay, I was facing the challenge of being away so long, pushing myself, stepping outside my comfort zone but when I started to crack I handled it wrong.  I’m getting really tired of this trait of mine.  Even if I just throw a mini flip out it is still a flip out and it isn’t like I don’t know the proper ways to communicate.  And I’m staying with my very best friend, she has been there for me through EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING, she knows about ALL of my awkward and bizarre corks.  So when I started to get depressed and not just homesick depressed but DEPRESSED and I just wanted to sleep and pick fights with Adam, I should have said I wanted to go home but I let it fester and got grumpy.  Turns out even Rhonda was surprised I agreed to come for so long. But I wanted to help my friend out and test myself and I suck at saying no.  I’m disappointed I didn’t change my ticket days ago because it would have saved me some grumpy angst filled days.  Thankfully I am dealing with someone who accepts me.

A dog, a gator and used condoms…. Oh my!

leaving YYZ.

My flights to North Bay were uneventful.  I was on an old stupid Air Canada plane and so I didn’t have my own T.V but I had my Zune and a paper book that I needed to finish before I could start a new book on my eBook.

island in the lake.

We are two hours more north than North Bay and the CD player in the car is broken.  Good thing Rhonda and I are never short for words to say to each other.

DO NOT DRINK.

The first couple of nights I found it pretty creepy out here but we have the dog and even though we don’t have a gun we can both fire one.

sexy to the ultimate max.

i stack.

We are working and visiting, more visiting but procrastination is key to accomplishing our real goals.  I’m here another two weeks we need to renovate a room and I didn’t bring painting clothes although you’d never have known it from my seriously sexy outside working wear.  We have some barrels left to move, some more winterizing of the premises and we still need to do some burning.  Rhonda wanted to have a bon fire in the rain and I said FUCK NO I hang out in the rain at home! I feel seriously ripped off, the weather is so Vancouverish right now it is NOT FAIR where is my SNOW! The weather man has said snow is coming two times already.  Fibbers and hope DESTROYERS!!

raining.

Rhonda thought I was getting depressed because I sleep so much, nope, I just need my beauty sleep that is doing dick fuck all if I get one more bloody pimple I will be able to pop my whole head, and because I go to bed between 8 and 10pm at home staying up till midnight plus here means I can’t get up at my normal 7ish.  I’m like a teenager I do not operate well on less than ten hours sleep.

my ten dollars even juniors hoodie.

I bought a ten dollars even juniors medium hoodie which is making me pretty happy.

ray of not NKOTB

Rhonda is a NKOTB fan and went to their concert in Toronto and is going to the one in Vancouver and she plays NKOTB a lot.  My favourite line to hate is one that goes “it’s so crazy she’s like Baby, I’m like Swayze.” The song is called: Dirty Dancing.   BUT seeing as I am an amazing friend I get up and put on the NKOTB for her to enjoy.  Stupid songs keep getting stuck in my head so bad one day I HAD to put my Zune on. Some Tool, some Neko some Madonna a little Marvin and I was okay again until I went to go to bed and just before I put my earplugs in Rhonda yelled out:  “it’s so crazy she’s like Baby, I’m like Swayze.”   – A.S.S.H.O.L.E.

Rhonda & I.

I’ve learned how to make a pretty good bed with impressive corners and I enjoy vacuuming.  People are so strange, I can’t even go into it but I will just say I didn’t have a problem stripping and making beds until I went into one room and checked the garbage FIRST.  DON’T DO IT.  Once I knew what had been done in the bed just touching the sheets was enough to send me off on a totally childish and irrational tangent about semen, wet spots and pubes.

dogger sports.

frisbee please.

NOT CHOMPY.

Skaha, Rhonda’s dog, is pretty good.  She is a spoiled brat though and gets her way and I totally wish I were Cesar Millan so I could make her more like a cat or something.  She makes me miss Gus a lot and keeps trying to steal my Chompy.  Chompy already lost an eye once and now he has to battle this dog.  Yes I am 31 and sleep with a stuffed gator.  I brought Chompy [said gator] so I wouldn’t miss Adam as much because Adam gave me Chompy years ago but even Adam is now worried about the fate of Chompy and one of my main goals is keeping Chompy safe.  Rhonda said she was going to get a gator cage for Chompy but I have yet to see one.  I’ll keep you posted on that one; so far Skaha has only been able to bite Chompy’s foot.

We started watching Heroes Season 1 and we are now onto Heroes Season 2.  I made a lot of observations while watching Heroes, and I totally have a new T.V crush.  I have discussed my new found crush on Milo Ventimiglia with my husband and he still loves me so all is cool.  FINALLY I am starting to get Adam to reveal his actress hotties list to me.  He likes Jennifer Love Hewitt. That is all I have so far.

Canada eh?

Ontario – where they have real fall!

Monday was the last full day that Adam and I got to spend together after I took care of him for almost seven full days because he hurt his shoulder, taking care of him meaning we played endless XBOX games and lived most joyously in our own filth.

I take off for Northern Ontario tomorrow stupid early for almost a month. Although, when given the choice I prefer flying in the morning, I don’t have a reason why I think it is because things seem calm in the mornings. It is probably some sort of false sense of security thing I’m realizing this as it is hitting the Word doc. I really hadn’t thought about it.

It is hard to believe I am basically flying the same distance I did in July yet I am only taking two flights [technically four I have to connect in YYZ to get up North but that is nothin']

For Top Secret Mission JT 2008, I flew:

Vancouver to Seattle
Seattle to Atlanta [delayed I'd have missed my connection if ATL hadn't been delayed as well]
Atlanta to Michigan [delayed over two hours stuck on tarmac for over an hour]

Coming home:

Michigan to St. Louis
St. Louis to Denver [delayed, had to SPRINT not run SPRINT to make my connection]
Denver to Vancouver [met seriously cool woman I wish I'd have stayed in touch with]

I would not recommend that flight plan to anyone who isn’t an experienced flyer, anyone who is an experienced flyer and anyone who ever wants to see their luggage again, I almost never check my bags.  And of course just like in the movies every flight I stepped off was at least a million gates from my next flight.  Not ONE was close.  Thankfully the reason for my trip kept me calm through all those flights, coming home was a little harder. I was the crazy asshole sprinting through the Denver airport my baggage smacking people in the legs and my screaming at them to get the fuck out of my way.  People seem to think that if you are or have been in the travel industry that you handle shit better, actually it’s the opposite I know how shit is supposed to work so I get mad easier at stuff.  I think it is pretty funny actually because I’m really not a good flyer and because I’m always in charge when we/I fly I can’t just tranquilize myself out.  In fact when I was getting ready to leave for Michigan I was starting to get really stressed about my insane decision to fly six legs when Adam said something to the affect of “I never find flying stressful”.  If I hadn’t have exploded laughing I may have thrown a mini fit, I may have, I don’t really remember but I do remember spitting out a speech letting Adam know that OF COURSE flying for him wasn’t stressful because I handle EVERYTHING. I hand him his identification and ticket at the gate. That’s it; he basically just has to show up. I even pack for him.

Although I haven’t worked in the travel industry since 2000, a lot of what I learned going to what is referred to as Travel College [I did go to the one that's considered the best here, graduated with honors as well] has become priceless knowledge when it comes to flying anywhere today. They even teach you how to pack.  Can you believe I used to HAND WRITE scheduled airline tickets? This is partly why my data entry skills although slow now still have an almost zero error margin. You CAN NOT make mistakes on paper tickets, I am glad they are gone.

I am really excited about this trip yet nervous all the same. I am going to stay with Rhonda, a BFF since I was thirteen; we are totally getting matching tattoos man, we used to have an ear piercing for every year of our friendship but when I had my collar bone surgery I didn’t even put my tongue ring back in so my ear holes cept for the two I hear from are closed.

I was devastated earlier in the year receiving the news that her AND my parents were leaving. Some of you will remember that news was a large part of my hospitalized break down last March. Adam and I have never been apart this long and this is the second longest I will have ever left Gus for as well and she is old and seriously hates it when I go anywhere.  She refuses to stay away from my suitcase making it nearly impossible to pack and then she won’t get off it and it is cute and all but I can’t take you Gus sorry I can’t.  Oh and the fact that half of the cities blog world want to bang my hot husband doesn’t help either, I generally find it amusing and get off on it, but whatever unless you can play Virtua Fighter even half as well as I do you don’t stand a chance anyway.

So basically Rhonda and her spousal equivalent bought a water front motel and I’m going to help her run it one of their staff is taking off for a month so I’m being flown in. Kill two birds with one stone MAN we get to hang out and she gets free help minus the air miles.  This is going to be SO rad like the time my dad broke four ribs in his back and I had to go up to the sticks and help my mom run the show, plowing the driveway on the ATV was so fun I could do that shit everyday.  To be honest I never thought I’d have another chance to feel REAL woodsy living again but it will be cold there and the work will be rewarding and Rhonda has like every gaming system there is except XBOX which only sucks because I’m newly addicted but I don’t think I will have a problem playing the Wii.  And you can expect a FULL review of my Sony eBook because I will be using it.  I have used it but I wanted to wait until I traveled with it to give it a proper review.

If I want to take my Yoga matt I have to take the monster suitcase.  I love packing. I started my list a month ago.