At the end of last year I was invited to attend an event put on by local blogger Emme Rogers she had organized a party for a Calendar she’d made called Reading is Sexy in support of the Canadian Chapter of The International Dyslexia Association and she’d put her heart into making something that mattered to her and she wanted to share it with her friends and fellow Calendar boys and girls. This was such a fantastic idea, if I were in the position to buy two calendars a year I would have bought one in support alone, but we are not, and therefore this year I stuck with the one and only solid tradition Adam and I have. But before I get to that I’d like to mention that if you still need Calendars get one here and support local Vancouver bloggers and a great cause. I simply don’t feel it is right to do a post specifically on our Calendar stemming from what we fondly refer to as Calendar Wars without mentioning such a great idea when reading and literacy are also extremely important to me and I’m still going to support every year to the best of my ability. Starting with having the post up in time next year!

You may want to read the original Calendar Wars post and the link in the first paragraph. Or I guess you can just take my word for it in my brief explanation to follow the end of this sentence. [this should be good, me trying to give a brief explanation]

It started innocently, no that doesn’t work, it started as a joke, or so I thought. After the Men with Buns calendar was on the wall for a full year of course it had been made clear by me that I should be allowed to pick the next years’ calendar. To say I got him good that year, would be saying I got him GOOD that year. Two words: Jeff Foxworthly. A few more words: You might be a redneck if….  [I am after all a pure bread red neck, Grandmother lived and died in a trailer park]. Poorly written, not even remotely funny jokes, with cartoons of plumber butts, clam slam skirts and shirts, but not hot ones, HOES; twelve months of them.

My husband never one to be outwitted got me back in 2009 with The Big Breast Calendar. This is where some of you are like WHAT you love tits. YES I LOVE TITS! But even he admitted he copped out and went for porn, couldn’t out horrible calendar me so he went for tits. Only backfired on him two months, Ms. September and Ms. December were a challenge for him. There wasn’t enough of the car for Adam in the Ms. September shot, although oddly I found Ms. September to one of the hottest women on there, and Ms. December just should have never happened. You don’t want a description. Both women still had big tits, they were great, it was the photos.

One day I was on Flickr and I saw the side ads which on Flickr don’t annoy me cause they are for cool shit like Moo cards. I saw, or was reminded that you could make a calendar. I wish I could tell you ladies that I filled it up with hot photos of my husband, but where would the fun have been in that? Given that we are both pretty big fans of over the top dorky photos of ourselves it was a no brainer and thus Adam Carlson in Calendar ~ #adam2010 was born.

Cover photo: taken by me up in Prince George over Christmas the last year my parents were still living in Canada. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he had the halter on wrong before taking the photo.

Mr. January: If you know Adam at all you know he is extremely calm, he doesn’t swear very often and is basically the complete opposite of me when it comes to that side of our personalities, so the fact that for whatever reason he gave me the finger while I took this was out of character for him and like nice wannabe smurf hat. Neither of us makes resolutions so out of my picks for photos I liked this one for January because it’s sort of a fuck you to resolutions or whatever.

Mr. February: Adam was sick or something so I went out and got him some treats and such and your guess is as good as mine as to why but I decided that we needed wax lips. HAD TO HAVE THEM.

Mr. March: The original photo on Flickr is entitled: impromptu C.J look-a-like contest winner C.J is family to us, he has seen this picture, and has been overheard saying :”it looks even more like me than me”.

Mr. April: This is a mish mash of classic Adam moments, Showerhawk Wolverine face with kittehs, trying to eat cardboard instead of the Pocky, He wore flowers in his hair golfing, and Potato mouth (in our apron wedding gift which states: It Takes Two Socks To Make a Monkey, stemming from a hilarious joke Adam cracked out at a friends place one night).

Mr. May: As a you just had a vas-nipper gift I bought Adam some stress balls two years ago this May 23rd. I didn’t know how much pain he’d be in and thought he’d appreciate still being able to play with some balls.

Mr. June: Last year I commented on how I continually feel ripped off by June year after year in calendars and it is MY birthday month, the 14th every year; it just doesn’t seem fair, it isn’t like I take it personally but I’ve said it once and I will say it again June is continually represented in a prejudice way against awesomeness, in my humble opinion. Again, I’d really have liked to have posted a photo of say this nature but it would have cheapened the entire calendar. This here, is the money shot. This is the day that I bought my husband the worst underwear on the face of the planet it was all my fault they were just, well, you can see the photo. One of those worst wife ever moments. There are two more prime shots that were supposed to be on this page but no matter what I did the program wouldn’t let me upload them so we are all stuck with this one gem instead of three. My sincerest apologies.

Mr. July: Classic Adam, you can see the dedication to his craft of making me laugh in his eye.

Mr. August: The photos here are taken from the day that we started what we call The Creepy Carlsons, now we go out of our way to take creepy photos like this one that Adam took. Two examples of how fun my husband makes our marriage are apparent in his dorkiness in the other two. It is also his birthday month so the photo of the crazy eyes is fitting.

Mr. September: Who doesn’t have photos of themselves pissing in the bushes. There is one kicking around of me in the Dominican Republic I just thought of now, hilarious.

Mr. October: I took this photo the morning after our wedding, he claims he is pretending to be Gus, I say either go on a fucking picnic together already or admit you were trying to run away from the marriage.

Mr. November: This time, he’s being more of a horse. Still wearing the halter wrong.

Mr. December: This photo is entitled Find the Dill-weed. Adam named it himself.

I’m the type of person who can’t buy something for someone without having to give it to them the second I buy it, this was coming via mail and was so hard to keep my mouth shut about you can’t even imagine. I was laughing at nothing constantly, I showed it to a girlfriend who was over via the photos who was very impressed by my selection knowing us both very well. Well shit, that just made it even harder to wait for it to arrive.

The day it did arrive I was doing an interview with the Liquid Inspiration Podcast boys C.J and Daz and was in the middle of telling the story when Mr. 2010 himself walked in the door from work and we were all privy to his “you got me” response right there on the taping. Since seeing it he has mostly been heard muttering to himself about how the hell he is going to top this. *coughs rubs lapel*.

So basically we don’t follow the rules and we only have one tradition it started innocently enough with a Nuns Having Fun calendar, it was deemed Adam’s pick and then the next year brought forth a gift of a calendar making it technically my pick and then the calendar that changed everything, the calendar that meant war.  Need I say more than Adam’s pick and Men with Buns? Oh and click this link now for some Men with Buns action, you want to trust me.

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Little does Mrs. Bollwitt know that she was ultimately, if I take you back to the beginning, the inspiration for the first new scan since February 2006 and it seems as though not much has changed – I had the vision and got it first go. If I don’t get it first go I normally don’t get it. I’ll have fun wasting a bunch of time trying to get better ones but it normally comes back to my first go at it.

WAY back in the day because someone asked me to, I did a post on EXACTLY how I scan myself it is here and I think you should check it out as I am still using the same scanner but you get to see my arms with no tattoos on them and my old crappy computer. I personally like my arms better WITH tattoos but that is just me. And just in case anyone is wondering I have yet to ever use any photoshopping on any of my scans I do all the color changing etc. with the scanner options before I push the FINAL scan button.

Rebecca told me that if you searched “Corinna” in Google that I was on the first page or something like that and I didn’t think it was a big deal because it isn’t a very common spelling, most go with the double rr long story short I Google myself with just my first name and there it is and the number of pages of us was admittedly larger than I thought it would be. Of course I have Googled various variations of my name but oddly never just my first.

I forget about it.

I was getting ready to go out last Saturday with one of my keeping it old school BFF(s) Spockette and I remembered what Rebecca had told me so I told Adam to search me and I sort of knew what was coming but I just waited……. and my premonition came true and he asked, “did you look at the images?”

“Some of them.” [insert innocent chuckle]

By the time I got to the computer he was pages into the images.

“Not one of you.”

“Oh, I know it’s hilarious, it is all pron.”

There are lots of hot naked chicks out there named “Corinna” with really big nice boobs that I wish I had and they were all in braids. And I used to rock pigtails and pigtail braids a lot back in my early 20’s so I thought whatever JUST because I am ALMOST 31 does not mean I can’t rock braids anymore so I wore braids all day. SWEET. THANK YOU PRON for busting me out of my, ‘oh so boring hair’ wearing ways. Lately I have been doing much cooler things with my hair but I’m still not like I used to be but I also don’t have a live in girly girl anymore either.

Yes, I went out wearing the outfit in the photo, and that outfit is just ONE exhibit in relation to my pleas and WHY I keep asking/telling you folks that someone, Keira, Jennifer, anyone, must for the love of fashion nominate me for ‘What Not to Wear’ and fast I could show up at your place wearing this at ANY TIME!!!!

You’ve all been warned.

No matter how long I live here I can not dress for the weather, no matter how hard I try I am either too hot or too cold.

Let me first tell you what I have on my person and that it was plus one or more degrees when I went out and pissing rain.

• Brown knit, ‘Sneaky Brim Toque’
• Not done hair
• Glasses
• Pink wool, Banana Republic coat
• White mittens
• An umbrella with ALMOST broken open button
• Long sleeve cotton shirt
• 100% wool sweater (with fleece lined neck)
• Jeans
• Wigwam socks
• Wellies
• A bag

Can you say over heat much? Today was ridiculous, I felt like I weighed a million pounds, not good for any day let alone the first day I leave my house to also test my back out. I had to wear my Banana Republic coat and not my Helly Hansen snowboard jacket [even though SKIING IS WHERE IT IS AT!!!!!] because my jacket is BRIGHT orange and would have looked worse than I already did in my coat and wellies, I think.

I needed some panties because I have lost what I fondly refer to as my newlywed comfort weight and am back in a size small panty, I needed a shirt for a Christmas party Saturday night – I found one – which led to needing a new bra which I got in a 34B and not a 32C yet I have lost weight. You tell me. Christmas or not my outfit will have pink.

By the time I got to Payless to look for winter boots for our trip up North I was dripping in sweat and had remembered three times over that I had forgotten my RE-USE-ABLE BAGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When this happened to Adam he walked home from the grocery store with the groceries in his arms, hands and pockets to teach himself a lesson. I think my outfit was lesson enough and you can’t walk around other stores with panties hanging out of your pockets.

Even though I got boots at Payless I MAY end up taking them back they were seventy something dollars after taxes at PAYLESS?? The more I think about it the more wrong it seems.

Today is a perfect example of WHY I let Adam dress me. From now on when people ask me WHY or look at me funny when I say my husband dresses me [as long as he is home!] they will be referred to this post.

AND on the walk home it started to rain hardish and the umbrella with ALMOST broken open button, BROKE and would not open and my fingers got extremely sore and red and cold. I tossed it because it was poking my anger spot.