You may want to read the original Calendar Wars post and the link in the first paragraph. Or I guess you can just take my word for it in my brief explanation to follow the end of this sentence. [this should be good, me trying to give a brief explanation]

It started innocently, no that doesn’t work, it started as a joke, or so I thought. After the Men with Buns calendar was on the wall for a full year of course it had been made clear by me that I should be allowed to pick the next years’ calendar. To say I got him good that year, would be saying I got him GOOD that year. Two words: Jeff Foxworthly. A few more words: You might be a redneck if….  [I am after all a pure bread red neck, Grandmother lived and died in a trailer park]. Poorly written, not even remotely funny jokes, with cartoons of plumber butts, clam slam skirts and shirts, but not hot ones, HOES; twelve months of them.

My husband never one to be outwitted got me back in 2009 with The Big Breast Calendar. This is where some of you are like WHAT you love tits. YES I LOVE TITS! But even he admitted he copped out and went for porn, couldn’t out horrible calendar me so he went for tits. Only backfired on him two months, Ms. September and Ms. December were a challenge for him. There wasn’t enough of the car for Adam in the Ms. September shot, although oddly I found Ms. September to one of the hottest women on there, and Ms. December just should have never happened. You don’t want a description. Both women still had big tits, they were great, it was the photos.

One day I was on Flickr and I saw the side ads which on Flickr don’t annoy me cause they are for cool shit like Moo cards. I saw, or was reminded that you could make a calendar. I wish I could tell you ladies that I filled it up with hot photos of my husband, but where would the fun have been in that? Given that we are both pretty big fans of over the top dorky photos of ourselves it was a no brainer and thus Adam Carlson in Calendar ~ #adam2010 was born.

Cover photo: taken by me up in Prince George over Christmas the last year my parents were still living in Canada. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he had the halter on wrong before taking the photo.

Mr. January: If you know Adam at all you know he is extremely calm, he doesn’t swear very often and is basically the complete opposite of me when it comes to that side of our personalities, so the fact that for whatever reason he gave me the finger while I took this was out of character for him and like nice wannabe smurf hat. Neither of us makes resolutions so out of my picks for photos I liked this one for January because it’s sort of a fuck you to resolutions or whatever.

Mr. February: Adam was sick or something so I went out and got him some treats and such and your guess is as good as mine as to why but I decided that we needed wax lips. HAD TO HAVE THEM.

Mr. March: The original photo on Flickr is entitled: impromptu C.J look-a-like contest winner C.J is family to us, he has seen this picture, and has been overheard saying :”it looks even more like me than me”.

Mr. April: This is a mish mash of classic Adam moments, Showerhawk Wolverine face with kittehs, trying to eat cardboard instead of the Pocky, He wore flowers in his hair golfing, and Potato mouth (in our apron wedding gift which states: It Takes Two Socks To Make a Monkey, stemming from a hilarious joke Adam cracked out at a friends place one night).

Mr. May: As a you just had a vas-nipper gift I bought Adam some stress balls two years ago this May 23rd. I didn’t know how much pain he’d be in and thought he’d appreciate still being able to play with some balls.

Mr. June: Last year I commented on how I continually feel ripped off by June year after year in calendars and it is MY birthday month, the 14th every year; it just doesn’t seem fair, it isn’t like I take it personally but I’ve said it once and I will say it again June is continually represented in a prejudice way against awesomeness, in my humble opinion. Again, I’d really have liked to have posted a photo of say this nature but it would have cheapened the entire calendar. This here, is the money shot. This is the day that I bought my husband the worst underwear on the face of the planet it was all my fault they were just, well, you can see the photo. One of those worst wife ever moments. There are two more prime shots that were supposed to be on this page but no matter what I did the program wouldn’t let me upload them so we are all stuck with this one gem instead of three. My sincerest apologies.

Mr. July: Classic Adam, you can see the dedication to his craft of making me laugh in his eye.

Mr. August: The photos here are taken from the day that we started what we call The Creepy Carlsons, now we go out of our way to take creepy photos like this one that Adam took. Two examples of how fun my husband makes our marriage are apparent in his dorkiness in the other two. It is also his birthday month so the photo of the crazy eyes is fitting.

Mr. September: Who doesn’t have photos of themselves pissing in the bushes. There is one kicking around of me in the Dominican Republic I just thought of now, hilarious.

Mr. October: I took this photo the morning after our wedding, he claims he is pretending to be Gus, I say either go on a fucking picnic together already or admit you were trying to run away from the marriage.

Mr. November: This time, he’s being more of a horse. Still wearing the halter wrong.

Mr. December: This photo is entitled Find the Dill-weed. Adam named it himself.

I’m the type of person who can’t buy something for someone without having to give it to them the second I buy it, this was coming via mail and was so hard to keep my mouth shut about you can’t even imagine. I was laughing at nothing constantly, I showed it to a girlfriend who was over via the photos who was very impressed by my selection knowing us both very well. Well shit, that just made it even harder to wait for it to arrive.

The day it did arrive I was doing an interview with the Liquid Inspiration Podcast boys C.J and Daz and was in the middle of telling the story when Mr. 2010 himself walked in the door from work and we were all privy to his “you got me” response right there on the taping. Since seeing it he has mostly been heard muttering to himself about how the hell he is going to top this. *coughs rubs lapel*.

For a full year I endured that calendar almost every moment of it hurt and I LOVE BUNNIES more than the next guy in most cases but not that much. June is always a shit month in calendars it is probably the only thing I don’t like about June is that it is never represented well in calendars. I didn’t even have a “well at least there’s a cute guy and cute bunny for June” it was just all horrid.

Last year, my pick, I got him so good I didn’t even care how many times I knew I would and did groan having to look at it almost every day but Jeff Foxworthy, You Might be a Red Neck If it was.  TAKE THAT.  It freaks me out that I used to find him funny, the North man; it fucks with your head.

Today, we went on the annual hunt waiting until they are 50% off is obviously the way to go because right there you are already dealing with a lack of good calendars.  When looking for the best of the worst this is key.

Book stores to me are like liquor stores for alcoholics, I can not enter one and not buy a book. I can’t it goes against all logical thinking in my mind. I went off to look at books so Adam would have his space told him to come find me when he had a pile for me to help him go through. I found the books I wanted and was headed with him back to the calendars when I saw a calendar called The Big Breast Calendar and asked if that was the one he had chosen, to make a long story short, Adam pussied out and fell for the porn he seems to already be regretting his decision to not have the nads to stand by a full year of shit on the wall like I did.  And ALL I have to say to that is I can’t fucking wait for next year but for now bring on the twelve months of big titties.  There are more photos from inside the calendar on Flickr. [NSFW]

Had he been thinking on Christmas Eve when this Hedy Fry calendar arrived in the mail he’d have picked it.  I can not believe that bitch invaded my Christmas Eve with her stupid calendar with her stupid face on it, now that would have been hard for me to look at all year instead I immediately destroyed it by ripping it into a lot of pieces and then threw it all over the room laughing hysterically at her nerve and then I recycled it.  I get more mail from her than from the idiots I actually vote for.

Little does Mrs. Bollwitt know that she was ultimately, if I take you back to the beginning, the inspiration for the first new scan since February 2006 and it seems as though not much has changed – I had the vision and got it first go. If I don’t get it first go I normally don’t get it. I’ll have fun wasting a bunch of time trying to get better ones but it normally comes back to my first go at it.

WAY back in the day because someone asked me to, I did a post on EXACTLY how I scan myself it is here and I think you should check it out as I am still using the same scanner but you get to see my arms with no tattoos on them and my old crappy computer. I personally like my arms better WITH tattoos but that is just me. And just in case anyone is wondering I have yet to ever use any photoshopping on any of my scans I do all the color changing etc. with the scanner options before I push the FINAL scan button.

Rebecca told me that if you searched “Corinna” in Google that I was on the first page or something like that and I didn’t think it was a big deal because it isn’t a very common spelling, most go with the double rr long story short I Google myself with just my first name and there it is and the number of pages of us was admittedly larger than I thought it would be. Of course I have Googled various variations of my name but oddly never just my first.

I forget about it.

I was getting ready to go out last Saturday with one of my keeping it old school BFF(s) Spockette and I remembered what Rebecca had told me so I told Adam to search me and I sort of knew what was coming but I just waited……. and my premonition came true and he asked, “did you look at the images?”

“Some of them.” [insert innocent chuckle]

By the time I got to the computer he was pages into the images.

“Not one of you.”

“Oh, I know it’s hilarious, it is all pron.”

There are lots of hot naked chicks out there named “Corinna” with really big nice boobs that I wish I had and they were all in braids. And I used to rock pigtails and pigtail braids a lot back in my early 20′s so I thought whatever JUST because I am ALMOST 31 does not mean I can’t rock braids anymore so I wore braids all day. SWEET. THANK YOU PRON for busting me out of my, ‘oh so boring hair’ wearing ways. Lately I have been doing much cooler things with my hair but I’m still not like I used to be but I also don’t have a live in girly girl anymore either.

You’ve all been warned.

No matter how long I live here I can not dress for the weather, no matter how hard I try I am either too hot or too cold.

Let me first tell you what I have on my person and that it was plus one or more degrees when I went out and pissing rain.

• Brown knit, ‘Sneaky Brim Toque’
• Not done hair
• Glasses
• Pink wool, Banana Republic coat
• White mittens
• An umbrella with ALMOST broken open button
• Long sleeve cotton shirt
• 100% wool sweater (with fleece lined neck)
• Jeans
• Wigwam socks
• Wellies
• A bag

Can you say over heat much? Today was ridiculous, I felt like I weighed a million pounds, not good for any day let alone the first day I leave my house to also test my back out. I had to wear my Banana Republic coat and not my Helly Hansen snowboard jacket [even though SKIING IS WHERE IT IS AT!!!!!] because my jacket is BRIGHT orange and would have looked worse than I already did in my coat and wellies, I think.

I needed some panties because I have lost what I fondly refer to as my newlywed comfort weight and am back in a size small panty, I needed a shirt for a Christmas party Saturday night – I found one – which led to needing a new bra which I got in a 34B and not a 32C yet I have lost weight. You tell me. Christmas or not my outfit will have pink.

By the time I got to Payless to look for winter boots for our trip up North I was dripping in sweat and had remembered three times over that I had forgotten my RE-USE-ABLE BAGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When this happened to Adam he walked home from the grocery store with the groceries in his arms, hands and pockets to teach himself a lesson. I think my outfit was lesson enough and you can’t walk around other stores with panties hanging out of your pockets.

Even though I got boots at Payless I MAY end up taking them back they were seventy something dollars after taxes at PAYLESS?? The more I think about it the more wrong it seems.

Today is a perfect example of WHY I let Adam dress me. From now on when people ask me WHY or look at me funny when I say my husband dresses me [as long as he is home!] they will be referred to this post.

AND on the walk home it started to rain hardish and the umbrella with ALMOST broken open button, BROKE and would not open and my fingers got extremely sore and red and cold. I tossed it because it was poking my anger spot.

On Friday at 4pm-ish I met up with Keira-Anne as she was getting off work and we walked to meet Rebecca to head on over to Steamworks for some pre-blogstock drink action with Duane, Tony and Adam. [John was working.. boooourns!!] Some interesting and great conversation was had by all and boobs came up a lot. I absolutely love that Keira goes on about them pretty close to as much as I do. Get me drunk and not just the conversations come up but the baby cleave and then some comes out.

It was then basically off to the Railway Club sans Rebecca and Keira though because Rebecca was getting up to do The 24 hour Blog-a-thon at 6am. She completed the Blog-a-thon this morning raising close to 400 dollars for the Surrey Food Bank. Well done!! Even though she missed a great time.

It was a tad bit surreal walking in and seeing so many faces I recognized from two and a half years of commenting, lurking and wondering and sometimes wrongly assuming how someone would be in person.

Jared and I have wanted to meet for AGES probably well over a year now of chatting and saying LET’S MEET but I am such a snob about leaving the West End we never ended up meeting, I’m sure it wasn’t ALL MY FAULT but it just didn’t happen until Friday night. We had planned on Facebook to pretend we had known each other forever, since the sandbox, not a big surprise we hit it off in about two seconds. I was disappointed that his partner wasn’t there but very happy that he had arrived with Elizabeth and her beau who Raymi has been suggesting I meet since she recently moved here. Foxxy who we also spent time with on Wednesday night at the fireworks was there but she left early with Jared and company, I think.

In no particular order I also met and had good times with:

Pat Zaph
Carmen
Chad
Danielle
JaG
Nome
Jennifer

I have to say that for me the night went better than expected seeing as I really had no idea what to expect. I am really glad that I took part. It is just insane to me that blogging the thing that keeps you behind your computer nerding out is the thing that seems to be getting me out more and more lately.

Be sure and check the rest on my flickr.

We put our shirts on before arriving because I don’t know why but we did. Steph opened her door and I was instantly showing her photos from the walk, there are more on my flickr. We had arrived to play Scattergories and our friend Dvo was coming too but he was late.

Stephanie’s cat HANK is fucking crazy. He has attacked me about fifty times now although I love him Gus does not like me much when I return home. Adam and Hank had never met and I was excited anticipating Hank taking the piss out of Adam. I think I still ended up with more scratches though.

It got late we played fourteen rounds. We played into the wee hours. Dvo won Scattergories by a land slide.

One day I was inspecting my boobs, the whole boob, nipples included; just inspecting them, nothing serious and I noticed on both nipples a bubble of fluid appeared. I instantly started squeezing my nipple but hardly any more fluid was coming out. I love picking at stuff, it is like a bloody drug. But I somehow forgot about the fluid in my nipples until after a run a week or so later, they had become a little irritated and I was tentatively scratching them when again fluid appeared on the tips of my nipples. During this inspection I must have pressed on the areola and gotten a bit of my breast in with it because fluid gushed out. The fluid was clear with a milky, yellowish color and I pressed and pressed and let it run down my chest till it was drained and then did the other side. I was in a trance. It was like having six zits lined up in a row that you KNOW are going to explode onto the mirror but better. Although on one hand I was concerned the fascination of being able to drain fluid down my chest from my nipples was winning over because for one it didn’t hurt.

I do not know why but I kept this to myself. I was embarrassed which honestly made no sense to me having had and written extensively about my ass surgery. In the beginning I didn’t even become obsessed with nipple draining I didn’t tell Adam for probably two weeks. Nothing I read on-line in regards to leaky nipples was good so I decided to also tell a pregnant friend and she said it sounded like breast milk and I should for sure go have it looked at but I knew I wasn’t pregnant and apparently breast milk doesn’t come in right away. I’d probably had it for going on three or four weeks by this time.

I went to a walk in clinic and got the same Dr. I got last time when I went in because my allergies were really really bad and I knew there was nothing that could be done but I was being a baby. GREAT. Now I get to tell this Dr. about my leaky nipples and show her because she made me I pressed out a nice bubble of fluid and she passed me a tissue. She sent me for blood tests, one for pregnancy and one that would measure my prolactin levels.

I got called back for the test results the next day and was totally afraid I was pregnant but am not, awesome. But my prolactin levels were HIGH the Dr. [a new one this time] started going off on how this was bad and asked about all my medications wrote them all down and started to get all serious and saying he was going to send me to an endocrinologist, and that I was going to need a CAT scan an MRI and that I could have tumors. I hear tumors and basically heard nothing else after that. I could feel the color drain from my face. I said Tumors??

This Dr. was so extreme I didn’t even realize he is talking about tumors in my head and not my breasts at first. All I knew was that I had real breast milk coming out of my nipples and I didn’t have a baby on the way to feed. I entered back into reality and decided this really wasn’t working for me and requested that all of this information be sent to my actual family Dr. and I would deal with it from there. Nothing he was saying was making any sense and it was really freaking me out and I told him I would rather deal with one Dr. instead of seeing a different bloody Dr. every time I went to the walk in clinic. My Dr. is a bit of a trek I only go over to her for big things. I figured this warranted a visit. I made the appropriate appointment.

Now in between all of this non pleasurable action happening around my breasts I had a therapy appointment and I went in all stressed out and let my story stream out from the first detail. The explaining how I discovered the actual fluid being the most comfortable part to tell.

Dr. Buttle after listening attentively to my experience at the walk in clinic and my fears over all the urgency asked me why I had never mentioned this was happening in a previous session. [Well shit man I was embarrassed of course, and did not see what relevance it had to my therapy now the cat is out of the bag and I'm stressed.] [Obviously.] This was where he mentioned that risperidone the newest drug added to my cocktail can cause a woman to start producing prolactin, it is rare at the dose I’m on [of course] but that is what he felt was causing it. And he instantly lowered my risperidone dosage.

It was decided that I would not see my family Dr. until my therapist had a chance to talk things over with her because although it was probably just the medication causing it there was talk of a CAT scan and talk of more blood tests.

As it stands now I have seen my Dr. and gone for a second set of blood tests where they took lots of my blood, results should be back soon, and I am waiting to hear when my CAT scan is and I go back for more blood tests in July. At first I was pretty worried because the fluid was not slowing down but now it is so I am definitely leaning towards medication side affects and not that I’m dying. Having the prolactin levels high in my system when I’m not pregnant can cause its own set of new problems but right now I am just concentrating on the positive like being able to offer myself as a wet nurse to my girlfriend. I can’t think of a better gift to offer a friend with a baby.