In December 2008 Bob and I met, not even realizing we’d met until the next day. A photo of me enjoying a special moment in my blogography went up from the social media event we were both at and I had people alerting me to it from various directions from the moment I got online. Turned out the person who had caught this moment was Bob and luckily we had met that night, although briefly, we were still introduced. This led to following each other on twitter, reading each others’ blogs, to eventually becoming facebook friends; the regular social media drill.

What originally kept me interested in reading Bob’s blog and following him on Twitter was that I could live vicariously through a lot of his Flickr photos. We both enjoy a lot of the same out door activities but I’m not currently in a position to enjoy them like he is. Bob’s landscape photography always captured me and took me back to good memories from my past, hiking, camping, skiing, made me yearn for those days. Each photo always reminds me how much I miss those sides of myself but reaffirm that they are still there, just tucked away for later.

I learned of Bob’s plans to build his own site, sell his landscape prints and add portrait / headshot photographer onto his resume of services offered. Given that I liked his photos so much I asked if he needed any models for his portfolio, he said yes, I own some nice Betsey Johnson dresses so away we went.

We’d both always wanted to do the whole Vancouver Gastown alley graffiti shoot. We did just that and the set can be viewed here, I wanted to take this post, for the most part to highlight Bob’s work in general and mention about how it meant a lot having him take my photos after having followed his work and growth as a photographer for over two years via the wonders of Flickr.

Bob knew he wanted me in the blue dress but still looking pretty natural which was fine with me, I don’t have a live in hair and make-up artist anymore, so I winged it. The evening itself was super fun, it didn’t take me long to relax, Bob does have a very naturally calming personality, he is very respectful. He wants his shot how he envisions it but he does make sure you are fully comfortable with whatever ideas may pop into his head beyond what is already pictured on the film reel of his brain while planning the shoot.

It was really great getting to help someone start building something towards their passion, it was a pleasure to work with Bob and I would of course recommend him for any of your headshot or portrait session needs! Do check out his site and enjoy the photos I’ve posted here they are a just a few of my personal favourites.

If you like what you see here be sure and join Bob’s new Facebook group for his photography site.

These photos are all property of Bob Lai Photography and have been used with the permission of the photographer.

Early last May I became somewhat obsessed with the babies born around Lost Lagoon and also Beaver Lake here in the lovely Stanley Park. With the mallard and the goose babies there is really no way to keep track of them, you just gotta hold out hope that some make it. This year we’ve seen two new babies we didn’t see last year, a pretty young heron and we’ve also seen one wood duck baby.

I had seen from my buddy Mikul’s Flickr stream that a cygnet had been born to one of the mama swans down there sitting on their eggs. It was already in need of rescue, poor little buddy fell out of the nest on the first day of life and got stuck.

Adam and I took what is becoming our preferred route to the Lagoon because there is a family of raccoons that hang out on it and the raccoons here although I would NEVER try to pet one, are very friendly. I don’t know how many of them hang out in the park but it’s A LOT, last year I caught some video of them wrestling at the Pitch and Putt golf course located within steps of the Lagoon.

There were three raccoons yesterday, one wee baby was up in a tree, I hadn’t seen that before, the raccoon hung out for a bit before venturing down across the water to join us on the path.

The mallard babies move around so fast they are hard to get decent photos of.

The mom wasn’t bothered by me.

After we’ve checked out the raccoons and the mallards we sit on a bench and bird watch, have coffee from our thermos, eat snacks, smoke a joint and chat. It is one of my favourite places to go, it is very peaceful and relaxing. Being amongst so much wildlife, it’s hard to believe that you are in fact sitting in the middle of one of the worlds’ most beautiful metropolitan cities.

Adam took these fantastic shots of a crow. His Pro Flickr account has lapsed so his photos are credited on my Flickr page for the time being.

From there we head around the biggest part of the Lagoon. This is where I start to get excited but try to also not get my hopes up. Last year, I was only able to see the Mute Swan eggs and the cygnets on the water before all three perished. One of them was HIT BY A BIKE, I must take this moment to remind anyone reading from Vancouver to PLEASE GET OFF YOUR BIKES around the Lagoon. These cygnets have enough predators to worry about they don’t need to worry about morons who can’t read signs that clearly say NO CYCLING around the Lagoon. OH, and keep your dogs on their leashes too, nowhere in that area is it okay to have your furry friend off the leash. How would you feel if the swans tried to eat your dog?

This year the nest closest to the trail is much better protected but that in no way guarantees the cygnets will hatch, let alone live. I got some shots of one of the fathers watching the eggs while the mom was off somewhere.

Saw a snobby turtle on the way and I really liked how these geese were sitting.

And now without further ado, the first cygnet born on the Lagoon this year. Not only was the wee little buddy right out on the path with the mother, we also ran into our buddy Mikul who is one of the best nature photographers in the city if you ask me, not to mention the rest of his stunning portfolio.

This year we gave the cygnet a name! Narco!! While we were watching them and chatting we noticed that Narco would groom and get up look around a bit and then BAM beak straight into the gravel and out cold only to pop back up less than a minute later and press repeat over and over; it was beyond adorable. Mikul knows the mother and so I was able to pet Narco and not even that would wake the fluff ball.

When none made it last year, I was quite frankly devastated, I went out to try and see them almost every day. Having named this little buddy, if he doesn’t make it, I will again be devastated. All I can hope is that the word got out last year and is still spreading about how fragile they are and we’re all able to work together to help keep them alive.

More baby and wildlife photos from this year can be found in my Summer 2010 set on Flickr.

Last weekend I overcame a thirteen year fear. It is something that for years I have tried to tell myself I could get over but was never able to. For those who don’t know, in 1997 I was on vacation in The Cook Islands and on my second to last day there I crashed my motor scooter and landed on my head. The pavement was wet and I went into a roll, my shoulder took the brunt of the fall snapping my collarbone and did some sweet damage to my right knee.

We had done the cross Island hike to The Needle, the peak on the island of Raratonga, and because we each had our own scooter we left one at each end of the trail to make it easier to get back to the house where we were staying. We got lost on the hike and ended up scaling roots and rocks and were beat when we got to the bottom. Even had we not have gotten lost, it is still a full days worth of hiking. We were covered in mud and pretty pleased, it had been a really amazing day. We picked up the other scooter and as we were leaving for home it started to pour rain. I was not wearing a helmet.

At the time, Air New Zealand was the only airline with the rights to fly into Raratonga, leaving the Island a diamond in the rough in those days. I haven’t been in the travel industry for a good while now and could still probably sell a trip there just from talking about how awesome it is, lets just say Bali has NOTHING on it, not ONE thing. When I rented the scooter I rented it FIRST and DROVE to the license place, no lesson no nothing. My parents had been there the year before so my dad showed me the basics and I learned how to use it myself, and fast, they drive on the other side of the road there too.

My dad was in front of me and because of the rain I had my head dipped slightly as to not get water on my sunglasses, rendering me unable to see. He slowed down to hit a pot hole and I looked up too late, hit my front brakes and the bike slid out from underneath me so fast the next thing I remember is my head hitting the pavement. I remember the whole accident minus the sound, I have no memory of any sound and apparently I was swearing my ass off and freaking out at myself, calling myself stupid for crashing, how could I have let this happen… whatever it was relayed to me after and I was sort of embarrassed over how many f-bombs I had apparently dropped but not really I was after all in complete shock.

I was taken to hospital in what passes for an ambulance there – the back of a pickup truck with the universal red cross sign on it. Even with a piece of bone sticking up out of my arm and the fact that lifting it was agony it was according to them not broken, no x-rays, they cleaned up my road rash and sent me home.

(please note the OLD SCHOOL Nike Pegasus runners before they were discontinued but were thankfully brought back a few years ago now, they’ve always been my favourite shoe to run in)

I rode horses as a kid and had some pretty bad falls and throws and I ALWAYS got back up on the horse even though I was never a huge fan of riding, it was one of those things my parents must have thought would be good for me I guess, I never thought crashing that motor scooter would evoke so much fear in me that biking would simply exit my life completely, and roller blades FORGET about it! Unfortunately the image of my head hitting the pavement played over in my mind like a broken record, I can still see every moment of that crash like it was yesterday.  No matter how hard I tried to block it out, it would not leave, still today it isn’t gone.

The more years that passed the less likely I thought it was that I would ever ride a bike again. When my parents moved to Bali my dad left me with his old mountain bike that I rode as a kid as one of my cross trainers for running. It sat in the living room, then it was in the bedroom, my mom even bought us both helmets, then it went down to storage and then Phaedra needed a bike so we lent it to her and once we lent it to her I started to feel really left out, not by her, but by myself. I’m not a pussy I’ve been hurt badly before, I define clumsy, but that has never stopped me before.

By the time she was finished with the bike I was determined to get back on it. I can’t afford to swim right now so that is out as a cross trainer and in order for me to be able to run injury free because I have injured myself so badly racing in the past I HAVE to cross train and the bike was my only FREE option.

Last weekend, thanks to the support and encouragement of Phaedra and Adam I got back on the bike; I DID IT!

I was a little wobbly at first, and it took a few tries to get the seat right as I gauged how comfortable I felt and what was going to work best for keeping my hips stretching out nicely with each turn of the pedals. It felt so amazing to be back out there, it felt like I can for serious get back to running, Yoga just is not enough to strengthen the damage I have done to my right I/T Band but with Yoga, cycling AND starting slow again with a run / walk / run program I should be running 44 minute 10ks again in NO TIME! YAY!

I’m seeing a few bizarre things and having some horrible bloody thoughts running through my head while I’m riding but I’ve been out for three rides already, all well over an hour and have managed to keep my fears in check.

So without further ado, ME back on the bike! Here I am on my first ride out.

My second ride, we went in the same direction but i picked up the pace.

I know, I know BARF city, but hey, we work hard at staying happy together and finding yet another activity to do together (with Adam on blades) is beyond awesome. Things have been extremely hard since January and having a free active thing that isn’t walking to get out and do is already proving to RULE. I can’t help it, I am pretty proud of myself.

I like this picture because it looks like I’m wearing a CAPE.

Third ride was around the Sea Wall with Phaedra and Adam. I was more nervous on this one than the first, parts of the wall are really narrow and ODDLY people on the Sea Wall are NOT as polite as the people are when you are riding along the wall that goes through False Creek. I have never found people on the Stanley Park Sea Wall polite in all of the years I have used it, but having ridden twice towards False Creek I had gotten it into my head that all of a sudden everyone was wearing polite pants. ON YOUR RIGHT, ON YOUR LEFT. Nope, people on the Sea Wall would rather just run you over, or pretend you aren’t there, nothing has changed.

I guess I find it interesting when people who live their lives online and put themselves in a bubble of public eyes suddenly feel they have a right to privacy when things go to shit between you, yet you lived a lot of the good parts of your relationship(s) on a public blog. People, including myself, worry about their reputation, perceptions, pretend they don’t care at all, yet we all exhibit emotionally driven behavior to the contrary. Most of us today, because we so rarely actually speak to one another, would rather fire off a passive aggressive comment around on open forums instead of actually dealing with interpersonal problems.

There is a line in one of my favourite songs by Terry Reid, the song is called To be Treated, where he sings:

we are what we are when in danger and we are as we stand head in hand

The whole thing speaks to a place in me that just wants to be peaceful, doesn’t want to resent, to feel anger so strong sometimes it feels like my blood may boil over from my mouth, nose, eyes and ears covering me in my mistakes, disintegrating everything good I’ve managed to accomplish in its midst. The fight or flight feeling when I perceive myself to be in danger or feel I’ve been burned is normal but it doesn’t have to control me. I can’t control what other people do all I can do is continue to work on how I react to it.

In the big picture, when big problems happen in my life I don’t want to lash out, overreact, hold onto unhealthy thoughts, or allow myself to sit in the victim chair. I’ve been working on the big picture for coming on a year and it is still some of the hardest work I have ever taken on. It is up there with coming to terms and dealing with my relationship with my parents. It strikes me as incredibly odd and painful that I can forgive the man who came into my home in 2002 and sexually assaulted me and I can’t forgive two women who have wronged me from behind their computers. Why can I let go of so many other things in my life, why can I come so far with forgiving some yet have no love for a few?

I know that I like resolutions to things, I like to work things out, I can admit when I’m wrong, where I don’t think a lot of people can, it’s very freeing, like learning to laugh at yourself. I wish I could feel more compassion instead of anger, at times I do, but moving on is a struggle here. I think because I’ve been able to get my life on track regardless of how hard my depression gets in almost every other area I don’t understand why I can’t have a resolution to these two problems, I feel helpless and misunderstood, ignored, taken advantage of. I know I am NOT a victim, I’m not the only one at fault. I would assume I have to forgive myself as well, but if I had my relationship with myself listed on Facebook it would be complicated.

We all live in this technologically advanced world, even Adam and I who have only ONE computer (the horror!). Things move so fast the average person can not keep up. Yet we seem to be taking steps backwards in dealing with people and with the relationships that ensue. We act like adolescents when someone says or writes something mean about us, threaten to sue over the thought of a reputation. For real? By feeding into the trend of everyone living their lives online we don’t seem to be gaining any lasting enlightenment, we are limiting ourselves psychologically, I don’t need to even read a book or be a doctor to see that. A society where people don’t have to wear pants is doomed from the get go.